Weddings

[LadyKay]

Okay this is no big deal but it bugs me a little. My mother in law is always being invited to weddings in the family. People like her sister in law's cousin, or grandson is getting married or who ever not sure how they are related to us but they are if you know what I mean. Most of the time I do not know any of these people and my husband only knows them by name. Anyway , My mother in law gets a wedding invitation and she says that on the invitation it is address to her and family. She says that since it is address to "family" that my husband and I are invited as well. But I feel that since I nor my husband personally get an invitation and we do not live in the same house or same state as my mother in law, that it is not really important for us to be there and we are not really invited in the first place.

When I got married I made sure that every adult person got their own invitation personally. Especially if they lived in different households. Even if they are my cousin and I sent one to my aunt's house already. If they have their own address they should get their own invitation.

Thoughts on this matter?

[Simon Bar Sinister]

yeah, if you're not living with mom-in-law, the invite shouldn't apply to you.

is it that m-i-l just doesn't want to go alone? if that's the case, maybe just one of you could go with her.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Okay this is no big deal but it bugs me a little. My mother in law is always being invited to weddings in the family. People like her sister in law's cousin, or grandson is getting married or who ever not sure how they are related to us but they are if you know what I mean. Most of the time I do not know any of these people and my husband only knows them by name. Anyway , My mother in law gets a wedding invitation and she says that on the invitation it is address to her and family. She says that since it is address to "family" that my husband and I are invited as well. But I feel that since I nor my husband personally get an invitation and we do not live in the same house or same state as my mother in law, that it is not really important for us to be there and we are not really invited in the first place.

When I got married I made sure that every adult person got their own invitation personally. Especially if they lived in different households. Even if they are my cousin and I sent one to my aunt's house already. If they have their own address they should get their own invitation.

Thoughts on this matter?

Would think it only really applies to immediate family. If it applied to all the kids, AND their wives/husbands it would also apply to THEIR kids probably, which would get out of hand pretty fast.

Invitations need to be fairly clear, UNLESS.... you have a situation were you really dont mind having a zillion people show up (and can afford it if they do) so its a sliding scale.

Specifically for weddings I'd think you'd want to be extra careful as to who is invited as its a much bigger deal having random idiots show up to the "special day" than it is having some frat party were you hope the roof caves in and the cops get called or its considered a dull affair.

[Glory13666]

I think the other half of it is not whether or not they want you to be there but do you want to. I hate going to family affairs and so does my husband so unless it's immediate family we are always unavailable to attend. I'd rather go to City Club and dance with a bunch of strangers than a boring ass wedding and dance with a bunch of strangers to crappy wedding music.

[LadyKay]

I agree with what all of you are saying. Though my mother in law thinks that my husband and me are anti-social and anti-family. Last night I got a lecture by her on "how family works" when she once again has gotten invited to a 3rd. cousin's wedding that my husband does not even know, and insisting that we can show up even though we have not been sent an invite. She says it is RSVP and says she can just put our names down on the invite. She says everyone will be asking why we are not there. I said since neither the bride or groom know who we are, they wont miss us. After all it is they're wedding not the family's.

Well thanks for letting me vent my family drama.

[*Siren*]

Personally, I wouldn't go if I didn't get my own invitation. Weddings are expensive and I couldn't justify costing the couple an extra $100 or more when they don't even know me.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

I agree with what all of you are saying. Though my mother in law thinks that my husband and me are anti-social and anti-family. Last night I got a lecture by her on "how family works" when she once again has gotten invited to a 3rd. cousin's wedding that my husband does not even know, and insisting that we can show up even though we have not been sent an invite. She says it is RSVP and says she can just put our names down on the invite. She says everyone will be asking why we are not there. I said since neither the bride or groom know who we are, they wont miss us. After all it is they're wedding not the family's.

Well thanks for letting me vent my family drama.

Thats outa hand right there. Yeah ok , people that don't even really know who you are , because you happen to be related to them (barely) your automatically invited to anything they have? Oo

Myself I'm not anti family I'm just anti-most of my OWN family, not that they are all bad there are some great people in my family but, since half are religious fanatics and the other half are jerks some nice people sprinkled about. I put no stock in genetic relations, people that have my back are my family, (which is only like 4 people on the planet currently) people that happen to be genetically closer to me than other humans are my family only in the sense that we are all in the human family.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

I think the other half of it is not whether or not they want you to be there but do you want to. I hate going to family affairs and so does my husband so unless it's immediate family we are always unavailable to attend. I'd rather go to City Club and dance with a bunch of strangers than a boring ass wedding and dance with a bunch of strangers to crappy wedding music.

hah.