"I can't stand you, I hate having to deal with you, I wanted you gone the last three years we were together, that's why I treated you like shit"

[kat (1)]

My ex husband told me this tonight after I asked to keep my son for another night and bring him home in the morning, after I asked him to tell me why my son was telling me he no longer liked it step mom, I just wanted to know what was going on........he screamed at me and said "its not of your business what the fuck goes on in my muthafucking house".......I hung up on him.....calmed myself down...try to call back to talk civilized about issues that he had not told me about between my son and his lovely step mother and again, the ex went nuts on me, said he would make my life miserable, said I am a loser, and I am acting like I am better than him now, I said I was sorry that my son was causing issues with him and his honey but I didn't know...he said I was being condescending, make me feel like shit and than said he always wanted rid of me, he basically didn't love me and "I can't stand you, I hate having to deal with you, I wanted you gone the last three years we were together, that's why I treated you like shit"....and I realized that the guilt I been holding for leaving him, the feelings I had for not sticking it out for my kid, the hate inside I had for not be strong enough to make it work.......was not all in my head, it was him, he did was I always knew he was doing....he sabotaged our marriage, he used me to have a child and threw me out like trash the trash I came from....he will never respect me....I will always be southwest Detroit hoodrat trash to him..........no matter what...and the truth he finally told In that statement will for the rest of my life hurt me and validate my feeling of worthlessness and my feelings of unworthiness of love.......because everyone man that I meet will feel like he did and at some point they will, in the back of their head feel like "I can't stand you, I hate having to deal with you, I wanted you gone the last three years we were together, that's why I treated you like shit".....because every man that I meet will feel like he did and at some point they will. This was the hardest, most hurtful thing to hear after watching our son grow for ten years, after carrying our son inside me for nine months...I never believed I was such a bad woman, but I guess I am. I am beyond saddened over this.

Edited August 12, 2013 by kat

[Simon Bar Sinister]

I know it doesn't and won't sound like it to you, but he did you two huge favors without intending to. First, he demonstrated what a spineless piece of crap he is by not having the guts to say this while you were still together (and saying it over the phone when he finally did). Second, and more importantly, he let you off the hook for that guilt for admitting (without knowing that that's what he was doing, I'm sure) that HE WAS THE PROBLEM ALL ALONG.

xxxx

[kat (1)]

Thank your response...I am really sensitive although I try to be sarcastic but I dont attack a person to hurt them...(my sarcasm is aimedat society and myself) but what he said has fucked me up all day..I still eant to cry..my coworkers asked me what was wrong. He knows he can still hurt me..there is noone there to like stop him...no males in my life like a dad or uncle or boyfriend shit not even a really close friend that gives a shit about me....he has his wife thats his little tag team partner no matter how bad I wanna body check that bitch..(trying to hold back the hood chic in me, though) anyway they got each others back..Im just fucked.

[TronRP]

But kat, if it wasn't for you, I would probably crazy by now. I have NEVER had friends outside of family that I don't put on facades for. You and a couple other DGNers are lifesavers for me. Don't leave, I finally got gossip partners. I love your attitude towards life and how you think of others. If you need the proverbial shoulder to cry on, I know where you work...I'm here!!!

Don't run out on me...I might loose it. Please stay around...

[kat (1)]

But kat, if it wasn't for you, I would probably crazy by now. I have NEVER had friends outside of family that I don't put on facades for. You and a couple other DGNers are lifesavers for me. Don't leave, I finally got gossip partners. I love your attitude towards life and how you think of others. If you need the proverbial shoulder to cry on, I know where you work...I'm here!!!

Don't run out on me...I might loose it. Please stay around...

But kat, if it wasn't for you, I would probably crazy by now. I have NEVER had friends outside of family that I don't put on facades for. You and a couple other DGNers are lifesavers for me. Don't leave, I finally got gossip partners. I love your attitude towards life and how you think of others. If you need the proverbial shoulder to cry on, I know where you work...I'm here!!!

Don't run out on me...I might loose it. Please stay around... Well, since you gave me the flower and all.......and since I love you.........