Life tips, yo.

[kat (1)]

Don't eat yellow snow.

Always check the crisper drawer in the fridge or you will suffer as I am now: (

Next?

[kat (1)]

For smooth ass legs use hair removal cream instead of shave gel,  like Nair with Argan oil but actually use the razor too because this stuff doesn't always work, trust me the person touching them will be like WOW!! You're legs couldn't get any smoother. Like seriously, I keep touching my leg cause I can't show it off to anyone else so..just try it.

Edited November 6, 2015 by kat

[Michael8402]

Never take a dump up hill.

 

[Michael8402]

This is a real tip for repairing damaged hair.  Get the cheapest, most cholesterol packed mayo you can find.  Coat your hair with it and let it sit for about 15 minutes.  Wash it out and you will be amazed.  I suggest doing this about once a month.  I used to be a cosmetologist and I have never found anything that works as well as a good mayo treatment for damaged hair. 

[Troy Spiral (13)]

If you actually have money to invest , playing the stock market (stock options not actual stocks)  with a good news alert system is quite reliable , albeit stressful.   I turned $1500 into 20k in 2 years and that 20k into 55k in 5)   Spent it all (and my 401k money) to try and live like I did before the car accident. Stupid move, but I wasn't thinking even close to straight for several years affter the car accident.  Not that I'm thinking super ultra clear now, but its much better.   Now I have trouble rubbing 2 nickels together.    Nowadays my PTSD would go bezerk due to the stress, unfortunately.  Even if I could manage to save up a grand to get started again. 

 

Don't put more than 10-20% of your cash into any one (stock) play. 5% would be better but until you have like 10-20k of investment capital its hard to make much money being that conservative. 

 

Don't bother with mutual funds unless your employer gives you a 2 to 1 or better match (if they do then invest as much as they will let you) as the returns are utterly unreliable. Despite claims to the contrary, over time (over decades) none of them beat the S&P 500.

You make more money in a down market than an up market on average so don't fear the ups and downs, you just short the stock (via stock options) especially on bad news. (that you get first because you belong to an alert service). You get in and out of a position on the same day, the "buy and hold" strategy is as dead as disco.

 

 

If you don't want the stress (or just can't be bothered to learn how to do all that) the learning curve on something like Lending Club is fairly easy and the returns beat the crap out of CD's or *the horror* just letting the money sit in the bank.  Back in the day there was no "online easy to use" version of lending club, it was a more "manual" system. If I had the money nowadays, this is what I would use as my investment vehicle due to the low stress (and much easier tax returns). 

 

 

A more useful piece of advice is try not to masturbate and cry at the same time too much.  Trust me its not nearly as fun as it sounds.  Although it does sound funny.

 

Edited November 8, 2015 by Troy Spiral

[kat (1)]

If you actually have money to invest , playing the stock market (stock options not actual stocks)  with a good news alert system is quite reliable , albeit stressful.   I turned $1500 into 20k in 2 years and that 20k into 55k in 5)   Spent it all (and my 401k money) to try and live like I did before the car accident. Stupid move, but I wasn't thinking even close to straight for several years affter the car accident.  Not that I'm thinking super ultra clear now, but its much better.   Now I have trouble rubbing 2 nickels together.    Nowadays my PTSD would go bezerk due to the stress, unfortunately.  Even if I could manage to save up a grand to get started again. 

 

Don't put more than 10-20% of your cash into any one (stock) play. 5% would be better but until you have like 10-20k of investment capital its hard to make much money being that conservative. 

 

Don't bother with mutual funds unless your employer gives you a 2 to 1 or better match (if they do then invest as much as they will let you) as the returns are utterly unreliable. Despite claims to the contrary, over time (over decades) none of them beat the S&P 500.

You make more money in a down market than an up market on average so don't fear the ups and downs, you just short the stock (via stock options) especially on bad news. (that you get first because you belong to an alert service). You get in and out of a position on the same day, the "buy and hold" strategy is as dead as disco.

 

 

If you don't want the stress (or just can't be bothered to learn how to do all that) the learning curve on something like Lending Club is fairly easy and the returns beat the crap out of CD's or *the horror* just letting the money sit in the bank.  Back in the day there was no "online easy to use" version of lending club, it was a more "manual" system. If I had the money nowadays, this is what I would use as my investment vehicle due to the low stress (and much easier tax returns). 

 

 

A more useful piece of advice is try not to masturbate and cry at the same time too much.  Trust me its not nearly as fun as it sounds.  Although it does sound funny.

 

My dad had stocks in GM as part of his incentive for being employed there back in the day (pre-prison) After he died, my mom, had to cash them out.. 2 years later 911 hit..she told me she got 50 grand but she lies about money, she probably got 100 grand. 

 

 

On another note,

I sometimes masterbate in lieu of crying. It's a lot funner. I still cry but than I just go for round two. Oh, speaking of which I got new batteries today. I'm excited. I should put a list on the Random Acts thread and just put double A batteries on there. I better stock up, it's going to be a long, depressing, Kat's not going to have sex with noone but herself type of winter:(

Edited November 10, 2015 by kat