People Never Mean What They Say

[LadyKay]

I don't know if it is just me or if others have experienced this.  But over the years I have come to an understanding that people never mean what they say. I have had so many people say to me that they will call me up sometime and we will go out for lunch. Only I never hear from them. And when I bring it up to them they always have an excuse for why they can't go. I had someone invite me to go bowling with them once. She told me she and her husband go bowling on the weekends.  After a few weeks went by and she never called to invite me to go bowling, I brought it up and ask her if they were bowling this weekend. She had some excuse for not being able to. I asked several more times but it was  always an excuse for not be able to go. Finely I just stop asking, and I never did get invited to go bowling.  I don't know why people say stuff like that then never follow through with it. Because at one time I actually thought that I really was going to get a call from them to go out for lunch or bowling. Then it never happens. So I have just stop paying any attention to such offers. Cause I know the person offering it does not mean to follow through with it. So now days if I run into someone and they say to me that they will call me up to go for lunch sometime I just say yeah okay knowing good and well that I will never hear from them.  I don't know why people do this? Maybe offers to have lunch or offers to go bowling is just something you say to people to show that you a friendly; but you really do not actually follow through with it.  So once again I don't get people.

[Scary Guy]

Some things are just a nice thought at the time.  "Yes, let's do lunch" is a kind, easy thing to say.  As they say though, actions do speak louder than words.  Maybe there is a good reason for not following through, but if it happens over and over again it's probably totally bullshit.

I'm also reminded of "Say what you mean and mean what you say."

[phee]

Politeness trumps communication first of all... also people can mean something at one time, and not mean it the next day. Their feelings on it changed, or they did not think it through.

 

Back when I was a social thing and DJing, doing music, etc... I might run into someone and talk to them and hit it off, and they might say something like "Yeah we should hook up sometime and jam do some music." And I will say and mean "Yeah sounds like a good idea!" Then realize that the person I was talking to lives an hour and a half away... and my work schedule is changing... or just upon retrospect I really don't want to.

 

So... I try not to say to the person: "I liked you that night, but you are not important enough to me to make me go out of my way or change my priorities." Because saying something like. "I got really busy sorry." Is nicer but not as sincere.

 

Even now... the DGN gatherings at red apple... I live about 15 minutes away, closer than a lot of other DGN people... but I can not see, with kids, work, pets, general lack of free time how I can go to one of these events, no matter when or where they are. It sounds crappy, and to be honest it is.... but it's the truth.  

 

[LadyKay]

So then I am right to simply ignore people when they say "hey I'll call sometime and we will do lunch". It is kind of like when someone ask "how are you", but everyone knows that no one wants to know how you really are. And if you start to tell them they get annoyed. Okay, I think I get it now. People  on this planet are ever so strange.

[kat (1)]

Yes, they are. You should just show up and whip her ass.......

 

 

 

 

 

 

At bowling. Of course!