Potentially random free flowing thought here

[Corvus]

I don't know why I'm posting right now, but I just really need to talk to people, even though I really have nothing interesting to say. Life in a loveless marriage really isn't a life worth living, and if it wasn't for my son I would've left months ago. I know I need to file for divorce, and not just live separated, but something in me won't let me do it. I don't love her, hell I do t even like her! Feelings seem to be mutual. I haven't had sex in a year, and anyone who knows me knows the level of drive i have.

 

financially, she's killing me. I have several legal cases against me now because of her shitty money managing, and I'm in severe debt. The kicker is, if I would just leave and only be responsible for myself and my son, I'd be debt free before 2017, and I could return to school that fall...so why can't I pull the trigger?

 

shes killing me slowly, she's killed my passions, my enjoyment, and she's destroyed my self confidence. I talked to a shrink twice, and she doesn't think I need meds or anything...just that I hate my marriage.

now I'm by no means suicidal, I would never kill myself...but the thought of death is quite appealing at this point (no this is not a cry for help! I wouldn't let his bitch beat me!)

 

I'm just very alone 

[sekhmet2002]

I'm so sorry you're going through this right now.  I was in a loveless marriage for a couple of years and it sucks. Best wishes to you.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

Sounds horrible.  Change can be really hard.  But from the sounds of it, I can't encourage you enough to just DO IT.   Depression is probably also a key problem holding you back (I've never been in your exact situation but I know its a huge hurdle) sounds like you need to GTFO ASAP though, as the longer you wait the harder it will be typically.    *bro hug*

[phee]

I think you are in one of the most difficult spots one can be in.... I am sorry.

[Class-Punk]

Well its a longshot, but you could always look for a therapist that uses Emotionally Focused Therapy or EFT, its the most successful couple's therapy and claims a 70% success rate, there's also a book called Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson that's around the same thing and cheaper.  You could also try to recommend The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle to her, that book has worked for a lot of women for saving their relationships.  And then there's The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman which is a bestseller by another couple's therapist.  I was sort of forced to study these things to keep evidence of evolutionary psychology from tearing apart my sanity.  

If you file for divorce you want to hold your anger back like a god, be as calm as possible and get on as good of terms as possible with this woman first, to figure everything out, because she could royally fuck you.

I personally wouldn't recommend marriage, or joint bank accounts between people in relationships, to anyone who hasn't already done it.  Primarily men.  Good luck.

Edited May 6, 2016 by Class-Punk

[Scary Guy]

Lawyer up, delete Facebook, hit the gym.

If you don't love her or like her there is NO REASON to stay.  None, zero, zip, zilch, nada, no quero taco bell.

If you just want to stay because of the kid (which is often the case) don't do that either.  It will just make him feel guilty if he ever finds out.  Parents get divorced all the time and he'll deal.

Finally, don't be afraid to play dirty, but also don't use it unless you have to.  A clean break by both parties is preferred.  If she wants half your crap give it to her, hell give it all to her if she wants it, you can always rebuild later.  However if she tries to use your kid against you then fight it.

Best of luck, and don't actually listen to me because I am insane (my legal disclaimer).