Need Some Input On This

[LadyKay]

My 10 year old daughter has ADHD and mild autism. My mother in law (whom some of you know I have had issues with) says she will baby set her. My mother in law does not believe in ADHD or autism. She thinks that all kids like that need is a good whipping. My daughter can be difficult and dealing with her can be frustrating at times. When we were staying with my mother in law, she yelled and screamed at my daughter for in her words "not acting lady like enough". She told my daughter she was going to kick her out of the house if she did not behave. Which would send my daughter wailing. She  wouldn't let my daughter watch tv, took away all her toys and locked them up in her bedroom. Then screamed and yell at my daughter when she got caught trying to sneak into her bedroom to get her toys. She also says racist things about how blacks and whites should not mix together and that someday  there will be no more white people left in the world because we are all mixing together. I do not want my daughter learning racist  ideals. So anyway, while she says she is willing to baby set, I just don't think it would be good for my daughter.  I mean I know my daughter will be looked after. But I am thinking this would not be a good ideal.

[kat (1)]

With all the love and respect from one parent to another, never, ever let this woman near you're children. I understand it is different to find childcare but this is an emotionally and mentally abusive person. No way. Not in a million years. I mean you're intuition has already given you the answer. I know it's hard to listen especially in desperate times.

You know it's a bad idea, she treated you like crap and is probably in need of a replacement victim... So, of course she is going to offer to babysit...but that's just my opinion.

Can you qualify for DHHS childcare assistance? I think they pay something until about age 12. I know how hard it is. Hugs.

Edited May 11, 2016 by kat

[LadyKay]

I know. After I wrote it all out and re-read it I was like "what was I thinking?" I don't know about DHHS. I'll give it a look.

Be really cool if employers built daycare rooms on their work site. That's a good ideal.

Edited May 12, 2016 by LadyKay

[LadyKay]

Wow! just for info. I looked up a babysitting site and there were babysitters from my town listed on the site. They all are wanting $10 to $15.00hr ! One wanted $10 to $25hr ! If I go back to work, that would be more then what I make. The local factory job is just $9.75hr.  I would be working to pay a babysitter. I did not know babysitting cost so much! How does anyone afford it?

[sekhmet2002]

I'm so sorry about all of this. I hope you find a suitable option very soon.

[Troy Spiral (13)]

38 minutes ago, LadyKay said:

Wow! just for info. I looked up a babysitting site and there were babysitters from my town listed on the site. They all are wanting $10 to $15.00hr ! One wanted $10 to $25hr ! If I go back to work, that would be more then what I make. The local factory job is just $9.75hr.  I would be working to pay a babysitter. I did not know babysitting cost so much! How does anyone afford it?

Yeah that's basically minimum wage since they don't get health care or pay into social security.   Unless you really know someone that just "wants to help" (like an actual friend) if you find a babysitter willing to work for less than 9-10 bucks an hour I'd actually red flag that and look for the next babysitter.  A good babysitter is a higher skillset and requires a GIGANTIC level of trust over say.. stocking the shelves at Meijer or flipping burgers at McDonalds.  Unfortunately for the person on the "paying" end. 

15 years ago it was a bit different , but these days a decent babysitter isn't a "dumb" job let's call it.   Babysitters never should have been since you know, they are taking care of your children rather than like say, bagging your groceries, modern society ... at last (fortunately or unfortunately) realizes it now.   Even still , they work pretty cheap considering what (good) ones do, although when you  are strapped for cash it doesn't feel cheap.  *sadface*  I  see great deals on things sometimes and I'm like... ONLY 50 bucks for THAT MONITOR.. OMG... wait... its still 50 bucks... nevermind....  *slinks away*  :(

[kat (1)]

58 minutes ago, LadyKay said:

I know. After I wrote it all out and re-read it I was like "what was I thinking?" I don't know about DHHS. I'll give it a look.

Be really cool if employers built daycare rooms on their work site. That's a good ideal.

Like gyms do. Lol

Hey, maybe you could work at a child care center, start you're own babysitting service, or work at the school maybe in the latchey program or while can you work day time hours, maybe when the kids are at school?

Department of Health and Human Services may pay a portion of the payment for you to do work related activities. I'm not sure if you qualify it's the state..maybe this will be helpful

http://jfs.ohio.gov/CDC/childcare.stm

[Scary Guy]

I had an ex that ran a childcare service out of her home.  She hated it and now does insurance.

As far as finding a sitter find some nice cheap child labor.  Obviously screen them first but most of the time they do a pretty good job of watching for some extra cash.  Invest in a baby monitor or teddy-bear cam if you can though.

Also, speaking as someone with mild autism your MiL is a cunt.  Next time she tries to discipline your child you should remind her that she is in fact YOUR child and not hers.

Finally: https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/ have fun!

Also, my 5,000 post milestone was this post!

Edited May 28, 2016 by Scary Guy