What Are You Thinking? (cont'd)

[WhiteLines]

Miss my WASR-10/AK-47, it was a poor choice to sell the only gun registered in my name, plus I cant fit my AR in a suitcase lol. Maybe time to convert AR to a folding stock.

[TronRP]

I think I know why I get so upset every time I hear someone say that "Humans are social..." or "Humans need social interaction".

 

Growing up, my immediate family, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Great-Grandparents, etc., spent so much time just trying to survive while getting overlooked by corporate America, missed by services designed to "help", and not really having each other to lean on because we had to disperse across the country in order to find work with enough money to live on while dodging persecution for being the wrong color and/or race that socializing was not a number 1 factor of life need.

 

We were not wanted.  We made our own way.  Family was far away.  The systems that were designed for US were made to make us feel less than human and kept us poor, in our place.  Church was the main form of "socializing" that we had and even still, you had to find people with the same mindset as you had or it became awkward quick.

 

We couldn't just show up in a new town or walk into a store or a restaurant and feel accepted.  NO.  You walked in with all eyes on you and security tailing your every move.  And no...they never looked like us so you knew you were not wanted.  Especially when it was automatically assumed that you would be paying with food stamps so they would point out the sign on the counter right before you handed them cash.

 

Everywhere that you worked, the employees would comment about your hair because it wasn't straight or long.  It would never be the same person, but when you are the only one that doesn't look like them in an office building of over a thousand people and one person has to make a comment each day, you're looking at nearly 3 years of the same comment over and over again.

 

Then laws HAD to be passed to make it legal to wear braids in the office place or to be able to be treated like "regular" people and you get asked about it as if you were the one who made them create and pass the laws.  (I found out about them at the same time you did.)  Now you get looked at like you are expecting special treatment.

 

I'm not saying everyone had the same experiences, but when you are treated like a plague on society for the majority of your life and people getting upset at you because your race wanted to be treated like human beings, you definitely question why someone keeps shoving it down your throat that you MUST be SOCIAL because you are HUMAN and we NEED it.

 

All I think every time I hear that is YOU DO YOU BOO!

😑

[TronRP]

I'm thinking about how much stuff is just hitting my brain right now.  I suppose it all got sparked because I am watching the series "Alone" on History Channel OnDemand.

 

At one point, when I started shopping in what was formally known as "East Detroit", I used to get tailed by so many security guards that I actually knew them by name whenever I entered a store in that city.

😆

[Class-Punk]

People vaccinating their kids are totally out of touch with the reality of VAERS and how much of a limited sample it is of the overall damage that has been done and will be done.  The scientific and medical community is short on integrity and full of cowards.

[Scary Guy]

2 hours ago, TronRP said:

I think I know why I get so upset every time I hear someone say that "Humans are social..." or "Humans need social interaction".

 

Growing up, my immediate family, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Great-Grandparents, etc., spent so much time just trying to survive while getting overlooked by corporate America, missed by services designed to "help", and not really having each other to lean on because we had to disperse across the country in order to find work with enough money to live on while dodging persecution for being the wrong color and/or race that socializing was not a number 1 factor of life need.

 

We were not wanted.  We made our own way.  Family was far away.  The systems that were designed for US were made to make us feel less than human and kept us poor, in our place.  Church was the main form of "socializing" that we had and even still, you had to find people with the same mindset as you had or it became awkward quick.

 

We couldn't just show up in a new town or walk into a store or a restaurant and feel accepted.  NO.  You walked in with all eyes on you and security tailing your every move.  And no...they never looked like us so you knew you were not wanted.  Especially when it was automatically assumed that you would be paying with food stamps so they would point out the sign on the counter right before you handed them cash.

 

Everywhere that you worked, the employees would comment about your hair because it wasn't straight or long.  It would never be the same person, but when you are the only one that doesn't look like them in an office building of over a thousand people and one person has to make a comment each day, you're looking at nearly 3 years of the same comment over and over again.

 

Then laws HAD to be passed to make it legal to wear braids in the office place or to be able to be treated like "regular" people and you get asked about it as if you were the one who made them create and pass the laws.  (I found out about them at the same time you did.)  Now you get looked at like you are expecting special treatment.

 

I'm not saying everyone had the same experiences, but when you are treated like a plague on society for the majority of your life and people getting upset at you because your race wanted to be treated like human beings, you definitely question why someone keeps shoving it down your throat that you MUST be SOCIAL because you are HUMAN and we NEED it.

 

All I think every time I hear that is YOU DO YOU BOO!

😑

 

Yeah, racism either overt or thinly veiled is unfortunately nothing new.  I know it exists but I'm lucky I've never really had to experience it.  I've been wearing the same outfit for almost 20 years now and as odd as I look most are very accommodating to me.  It's really weird trying to see things from a certain point of view you've never really had.  Anyone who hates me (deserved or not) hates me for me, not because of my race or lineage.

Though you can't always paint in such broad strokes.  Not everyone is a racist piece of shit, some really are just ignorant and curious.  I have a theory that it's kind of like being an atheist or gay, in that if someone knows one they're less likely to be hostile toward the group as a whole.  I have religious friends who think Atheists are scum, and I even dated a girl who thought that.  She couldn't believe I was so nice and that I was a "dirty Atheist" as she'd say half playfully.

One of my favorite examples of this from a black perspective is Daryl Davis, who has convinced multiple members of the KKK (grand wizards in fact) to give up the hate and quit the organization.  He didn't come at them with hate and vitriol, but with an outreached hand and kindness.  There was a very strong chance that he could have been killed when he first contacted some of them and met them in person.  I think he's a hero and should be an inspiration to more.

So I think being social is important, even if it is hard.  Sure not everyone is going to like you, but people fear and hate both what and who they do not know.  It's important to let people in and show them who you are, though that does mean partly letting yourself be vulnerable too, and that part is scary to many.

[TronRP]

5 hours ago, Scary Guy said:

 

Yeah, racism either overt or thinly veiled is unfortunately nothing new.  I know it exists but I'm lucky I've never really had to experience it.  I've been wearing the same outfit for almost 20 years now and as odd as I look most are very accommodating to me.  It's really weird trying to see things from a certain point of view you've never really had.  Anyone who hates me (deserved or not) hates me for me, not because of my race or lineage.

Though you can't always paint in such broad strokes.  Not everyone is a racist piece of shit, some really are just ignorant and curious.  I have a theory that it's kind of like being an atheist or gay, in that if someone knows one they're less likely to be hostile toward the group as a whole.  I have religious friends who think Atheists are scum, and I even dated a girl who thought that.  She couldn't believe I was so nice and that I was a "dirty Atheist" as she'd say half playfully.

One of my favorite examples of this from a black perspective is Daryl Davis, who has convinced multiple members of the KKK (grand wizards in fact) to give up the hate and quit the organization.  He didn't come at them with hate and vitriol, but with an outreached hand and kindness.  There was a very strong chance that he could have been killed when he first contacted some of them and met them in person.  I think he's a hero and should be an inspiration to more.

So I think being social is important, even if it is hard.  Sure not everyone is going to like you, but people fear and hate both what and who they do not know.  It's important to let people in and show them who you are, though that does mean partly letting yourself be vulnerable too, and that part is scary to many.

~~~~~

Yes, this is exactly what I'm talking about that I keep being told (in various forms) whenever I say that I personally am fine without socializing.  They tell me that I don't realize that I actually need to socialize and get out there and meet people.  I did that.  That's how I met people.  I just don't feel like I need to be up in someone's face all the time.  It's weird to me.

 

At my age, I had already figured out what worked for me back in the 80's.  All the stuff I posted about earlier were isolated incidents that I personally experience in the 70's, 80's and early 90's.  NO, I didn't dislike anyone because of how they were.  They didn't know any better.  That was just how the country was.  We were even still drinking from "Colored" water fountains every time we visited family down south back then.

 

Yes, times have changed, but I was working at Saginaw Steering which later became American Axle and Manufacturing (AAM) when the country passed laws dictating what was "proper attire for people of color in the workplace".  It was just what the country knew and accepted as proper behavior.  Most people in the office building didn't know if they could even speak to me as if I spoke a foreign language because (as one woman stated) some of them though I only spoke "slang" (because of how Black people were portrayed in movies during the 80's).  After that, I made a point to say good morning to everyone I passed in the halls on my way to my boss' office.  That's why people started talking to me.  It's just that they didn't know what to say to a Black person.  For many of them, I was the first Black person they had seen in the same building they worked in.

 

Tack on another 15 years of working in the Educational and Automotive industries and you experience people "classification" on a different level, mainly by financial standing.  And even still another decade of dealing with courts, homecare and fiduciary work and it's like discrimination on a whole other level...just jaw dropping how the legal system treats minors and the disabled.

 

So no, I'm not sure what you read into my comment, but I was not trying to make it come across like I was lumping everyone into the experiences that I wrote about, those were my decades of personal interactions and the experiences of my family.  And yes, it does do something to you when you overhear a worker telling security to watch the door "in case she wants to run".

 

Times have changed and kids of today act like "discrimination" is not allowing them to be on social media in the workplace.  It almost has little to do with "race" to a certain extent anymore.

 

But various mental health advertisements and lifestyle "test results" are telling people that they will live longer and better lives if they socialize, get a pet, have children, etc.  So I guess It's a good thing somebody out there knows us better than we know ourselves or else who knows what we might accidentally do with our lives.

😏

 

OK...I'm just being a jerk now...lol...

[Scary Guy]

Oh no, I get it.  I have many friends (especially being in the goth scene) that hate people.  There really isn't much difference between an agoraphobe and a misanthrope, other than one fears to leave the house and the other just hates it.

 

My parents belonged to "Agoraphobics Anonymous" which I didn't even know was a thing until I went through my mom's stuff after she died.  My dad thinks it's awesome how I go out and travel, but it's really not all that often or far.  But he almost doesn't like to go anywhere beyond five minutes from home because he has IBS when he gets nervous.  I think the most he's gone was Chicago back in the 80's, and that took a lot of prodding to get him to do that I guess.

For me it's more an autistic/ADHD comfort zone thing.  I can see myself never wanting to leave my room, or forgetting to and not caring.  In fact I've done it because I didn't feel like going out.  I try to think of my friend's neighbor though, who is/was an 80 year old lady who for whatever reason is/was scared to leave her house.  It just seems like a sad lonely existence to most, even though being alone doesn't necessarily mean being lonely, and it isn't always sad.  Some people prefer to be alone, or just around the people they choose/feel close to, either family, friends, or sometimes coworkers.

There's also a quote I've heard that I absolutely love. "To be free is often to be lonely."

I guess just do what makes you happy.  Maybe try to become more comfortable with uncomfortable situations if you want.  For me that is almost impossible with certain things.  However I do take comfort in knowing that eventually that nothing lasts forever, and like all things this too shall pass.

[TronRP]

I actually have to become comfortable with the uncomfortable at least 3 to 4 times a week.

😅

[kat (1)]

On 6/26/2022 at 2:58 PM, TronRP said:

I think I know why I get so upset every time I hear someone say that "Humans are social..." or "Humans need social interaction".

 

Growing up, my immediate family, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Great-Grandparents, etc., spent so much time just trying to survive while getting overlooked by corporate America, missed by services designed to "help", and not really having each other to lean on because we had to disperse across the country in order to find work with enough money to live on while dodging persecution for being the wrong color and/or race that socializing was not a number 1 factor of life need.

 

We were not wanted.  We made our own way.  Family was far away.  The systems that were designed for US were made to make us feel less than human and kept us poor, in our place.  Church was the main form of "socializing" that we had and even still, you had to find people with the same mindset as you had or it became awkward quick.

 

We couldn't just show up in a new town or walk into a store or a restaurant and feel accepted.  NO.  You walked in with all eyes on you and security tailing your every move.  And no...they never looked like us so you knew you were not wanted.  Especially when it was automatically assumed that you would be paying with food stamps so they would point out the sign on the counter right before you handed them cash.

 

Everywhere that you worked, the employees would comment about your hair because it wasn't straight or long.  It would never be the same person, but when you are the only one that doesn't look like them in an office building of over a thousand people and one person has to make a comment each day, you're looking at nearly 3 years of the same comment over and over again.

 

Then laws HAD to be passed to make it legal to wear braids in the office place or to be able to be treated like "regular" people and you get asked about it as if you were the one who made them create and pass the laws.  (I found out about them at the same time you did.)  Now you get looked at like you are expecting special treatment.

 

I'm not saying everyone had the same experiences, but when you are treated like a plague on society for the majority of your life and people getting upset at you because your race wanted to be treated like human beings, you definitely question why someone keeps shoving it down your throat that you MUST be SOCIAL because you are HUMAN and we NEED it.

 

All I think every time I hear that is YOU DO YOU BOO!

😑

I think this needs to be seen by more people.  

 

We have a problem within our society that we need to be able to fit everyone in a box because God forbid someone doesn't meet whatever that stereotype is for that group they like to lump you in and people's wigs are flipping. Oh and don't even try to have things about you that fit in several different groups,  muthafuckers minds go boom for what box will one fit, then?💥 

 

Edited June 28, 2022 by kat

[TronRP]

1 hour ago, kat said:

I think this needs to be seen by more people.  

 

We have a problem within our society that we need to be able to fit everyone in a box because God forbid someone doesn't meet whatever that stereotype is for that group they like to lump you in and people's wigs are flipping. Oh and don't even try to have things about you that fit in several different groups,  muthafuckers minds go boom for what box will one fit, then?💥 

 

~~~~~

When we were growing up, we were told to tell people that we classified as Black because we are unregistered 4th gen Cree and Blackfeet.  They said verifying our race as Black would allow us to get more benefits so they advised us against checking "Mixed".

 

Back then, it was not popular or readily accepted to say you were of Tribal American descent.

 

That would have literally blown the heck out of the "box".

😆

[kat (1)]

1 hour ago, TronRP said:

~~~~~

When we were growing up, we were told to tell people that we classified as Black because we are unregistered 4th gen Cree and Blackfeet.  They said verifying our race as Black would allow us to get more benefits so they advised us against checking "Mixed".

 

Back then, it was not popular or readily accepted to say you were of Tribal American descent.

 

That would have literally blown the heck out of the "box".

😆

Oh damn that's so very messed up on so many different levels. Smfh. 

😪

 

 

[WhiteLines]

15 hours ago, TronRP said:

~~~~~

When we were growing up, we were told to tell people that we classified as Black because we are unregistered 4th gen Cree and Blackfeet.  They said verifying our race as Black would allow us to get more benefits so they advised us against checking "Mixed".

 

Back then, it was not popular or readily accepted to say you were of Tribal American descent.

 

That would have literally blown the heck out of the "box".

😆

That is pretty eff'ed up. Of course I distrust and despise the government, it's agencies, and agents so it also doesn't surprise me. The system is set up against everyone nowadays even multi generation poor white trash, there's often no way out. So I look at everyone as my bothers and sisters... Except for the damn government, I view them with extreme suspicion, for they may be scum for all I know.

[TronRP]

So much to do...so little time...before other responsibilities kick in.

[TronRP]

Thinking I might be pulling an overnighter clean up session 

[TronRP]

I truly dislike when I think I have finished a task that I've been working on for a while...just to wake up and realize I dreamed the entire sequence of events. 

[TronRP]

Inflation ain't no joke...😵

[TronRP]

I think I made a good call cutting the workday short when the real feel hit 97 degrees out.

[kat (1)]

You ever meet someone who is such a bad liar and fabricator that you just be laughing at them in your head while shaking your head in agreement pretending to believe their bullshit? I did! Omg 🤣 

I kept waiting for him to slip up and he did so subtly that I couldn't waste my time on calling him on it. I just said fuq it, opened the bag of gummies, apparently put about 6 in my mouth, spit half out when the dude said um, u just ate like 6 of them! I thought they was stupid CBD not THC! Omg I got so stupid high but that shit distracted me from all this stuff happening this week.

[kat (1)]

What are they putting in this Marijuana nowadays? I hit the bong on Friday night next door, one time and I felt like I took x or something. This weed is on another level.  I can't even. I be having to talk myself through a panic attack that's why I shouldn't touch it. I just been trying to distract myself. 

[TronRP]

4 minutes ago, kat said:

What are they putting in this Marijuana nowadays? I hit the bong on Friday night next door, one time and I felt like I took x or something. This weed is on another level.  I can't even. I be having to talk myself through a panic attack that's why I shouldn't touch it. I just been trying to distract myself. 

~~~~~

Gurl...be careful.  A lot of stuff is being laced with Fentanyl.

It sounds like you suffer from drug induced paranoid psychosis.

[kat (1)]

5 minutes ago, TronRP said:

~~~~~

Gurl...be careful.  A lot of stuff is being laced with Fentanyl.

It sounds like you suffer from drug induced paranoid psychosis.

Omg I think I do because I get really weird and scared of my mind. Oh yea,  they been putting fentanyl in alot of stuff lately.  

[kat (1)]

The obgyn ( resident) actually walked in my appointment the other day and said,  we have a new doctor because so and so retired, I been discussing your case with her and we think we know what's going on with you" 

She also gave me the progesterone only pills that I have asked for in the past and was told no by her and is going to send me to confirm this adenomyosis that they believe I have.  I may be having a hysterectomy after all. Damn 😪

[TronRP]

31 minutes ago, kat said:

The obgyn ( resident) actually walked in my appointment the other day and said,  we have a new doctor because so and so retired, I been discussing your case with her and we think we know what's going on with you" 

She also gave me the progesterone only pills that I have asked for in the past and was told no by her and is going to send me to confirm this adenomyosis that they believe I have.  I may be having a hysterectomy after all. Damn 😪

~~~~~

Hugs 

[WhiteLines]

My gawd theres shoping plazas surrounded the entire perimeter of where my hotels at here, they've got me cornered. I already bought a shirt i dont need within the first 30 mins i was here yesterday. I'm gonna struggle to not spend as many stacks of hundreds as what I get paid here methinks. Good thing i been home a week and the fam broke my wallet, can't spend too much at the moment. Can fμ¢%!n window shop the hell outta dis beeyatch  tho. And off I gooooo.

[TronRP]

6 hours ago, WhiteLines said:

My gawd theres shoping plazas surrounded the entire perimeter of where my hotels at here, they've got me cornered. I already bought a shirt i dont need within the first 30 mins i was here yesterday. I'm gonna struggle to not spend as many stacks of hundreds as what I get paid here methinks. Good thing i been home a week and the fam broke my wallet, can't spend too much at the moment. Can fμ¢%!n window shop the hell outta dis beeyatch  tho. And off I gooooo.

~~~~~

That is hilarious.

 

When I looked up Holland Michigan yesterday, all I saw were hotels, shopping and food.  It has a Travel Center, a museum district and its own airport.   It's like the ultimate tourist stop.

 

However, I have no idea what would be there to lure a person in unless it was use as a historical destination or a getaway spot to hide in plain sight...unless it's a stopover location.