What Are You Thinking? (cont'd)

[Trappernicus]

I had a real heavy smoking habit. Some would say I chained smoked when stressed. The only way I as able to stop was to change my habit. I made a list of the things I would do when smoking and changed things around to break the association.

 

Coffee to Tea

Wine & Spirits to Beer

Fatty Foods to Salads

 

Over time I lost the impulse to smoke and was able to change back to the things I like. Oddly I still have dreams where I'm smoking. So the feeling is really deeply ingrained. 🦊

[NocteSpiritus]

Slips back into the boards 

 

What's up party people?

[TronRP]

10 minutes ago, NocteSpiritus said:

Slips back into the boards 

 

What's up party people?

[NocteSpiritus]

Just now, TronRP said:

 

 

Tron!!!!!! Miss you. Big hugs

[TronRP]

1 minute ago, NocteSpiritus said:

 

 

Tron!!!!!! Miss you. Big hugs

~~~~~

[TronRP]

On 6/13/2021 at 12:14 AM, kat said:

I will. He works through Henry Ford. I will see how he is Tuesday. 

~~~~~

Please do not hesitate to provide follow-up info.  I need to know you will be in good hands...

[NocteSpiritus]

3 minutes ago, TronRP said:

~~~~~

Please do not hesitate to provide follow-up info.  I need to know you will be in good hands...

 

Having read the related posts, yes knowing the problems that led to this helps. Too many episodes of "My 600lb life". 

Kat, best of hope for you in all of this.

[TronRP]

18 minutes ago, NocteSpiritus said:

 

Having read the related posts, yes knowing the problems that led to this helps. Too many episodes of "My 600lb life". 

Kat, best of hope for you in all of this.

~~~~~

I'm thinking we watch a lot of the same shows 

[NocteSpiritus]

7 minutes ago, TronRP said:

~~~~~

I'm thinking we watch a lot of the same shows 

 

We must be. 😄

[kat (1)]

On 6/14/2021 at 9:56 PM, TronRP said:

~~~~~

Please do not hesitate to provide follow-up info.  I need to know you will be in good hands...

Thanks . I could tell he has been this a long time and felt confident after meeting him. Now, I am working on the biggest hurdle the cigarettes.  I have to be nicotine free for a month and smoke free 2 months so I can use nicotine replacement for 4 weeks and then I have to be free of it for 4 weeks and he will be testing me lol..not that I would try to lie sometimes doctors,  probably private pay will do it if u promise to quit while healing..based on the lady Angela on 90 day Fiance.  She smoked the same day..smh. I appreciate they are checking me though.  I have a couple left and am going to start my vape tomorrow. I am going to be extra bitchy but good riddance to this thorn on my side 😆 🤞 I really want this though.  I really want to lose it my own and I'm following the diet they gave me and it's pretty easy so far until the liquid diet the week prior. I need to stop jumping ahead and focus on this cigarette issue first. One step at a time.

On 6/14/2021 at 10:01 PM, NocteSpiritus said:

 

Having read the related posts, yes knowing the problems that led to this helps. Too many episodes of "My 600lb life". 

Kat, best of hope for you in all of this.

Thank you ❤

[kat (1)]

Lol but they said I'm supposed to weigh 120 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I haven't been that since I was 12. 

[kat (1)]

On 6/14/2021 at 5:34 AM, Trappernicus said:

I had a real heavy smoking habit. Some would say I chained smoked when stressed. The only way I as able to stop was to change my habit. I made a list of the things I would do when smoking and changed things around to break the association.

 

Coffee to Tea

Wine & Spirits to Beer

Fatty Foods to Salads

 

Over time I lost the impulse to smoke and was able to change back to the things I like. Oddly I still have dreams where I'm smoking. So the feeling is really deeply ingrained. 🦊

I'll try anything.  Thanks for the tip.

[kat (1)]

I wish I could summons someone. 

[kat (1)]

Bipity...bopity..

[TronRP]

I think maybe I could give myself a sugar rush to stay awake....I think I've built up a bit of an immunity to caffeine. 

[TronRP]

If you have to remember what your true identity is, then there is a good chance that's not your true identity.

[TronRP]

I think naptime is winning out...😴

[TronRP]

I didn't think my service would connect back to the internet...yay...it did.

[TronRP]

It feels weird that I have a badge labeling me as a "Newbie" with 28,500 posts, because the changes to the board took place today. 

[TronRP]

Thinking it's hilarious that I just hit rank of Rookie...

[TronRP]

I find it amusing that I'm able to post and yet the board keeps showing that I'm not online...😄

[TronRP]

So, I just hit "Apprentice" level...

[kat (1)]

My son will be officially an adult on Saturday.  It's weird saying my kids are adults. Wow. I'm not ready.   Part of me wishes I had more because I love them so much but I worry nonstop. I wish I wasn't such a shitty mother. I wish I could have been stronger and better and not had to done the divorced thing while raising a kid.. I want to scream and cry. I don't know how to fix it. I know people are going to be like single parents do it well all the time well it didn't work for me. I ruined everything. Sometimes I wish I didn't find DGN when I did but than the other part says what if I hadn't? Would I have listened when my ex husband cried and begged me to come back? If I did would I have committed suicide ultimately trying to be something I wasn't?  I feel so broken inside.  

Edited June 25, 2021 by kat

[TronRP]

2 hours ago, kat said:

My son will be officially an adult on Saturday.  It's weird saying my kids are adults. Wow. I'm not ready.   Part of me wishes I had more because I love them so much but I worry nonstop. I wish I wasn't such a shitty mother. I wish I could have been stronger and better and not had to done the divorced thing while raising a kid.. I want to scream and cry. I don't know how to fix it. I know people are going to be like single parents do it well all the time well it didn't work for me. I ruined everything. Sometimes I wish I didn't find DGN when I did but than the other part says what if I hadn't? Would I have listened when my ex husband cried and begged me to come back? If I did would I have committed suicide ultimately trying to be something I wasn't?  I feel so broken inside.  

~~~~~

The reason you feel the way you do is because you can make a comparison.  Kids can't.  They only have that one parent that they know as their mother and that one parent they know as their father.  A child doesn't see anything past that.  In your children's eyes, you are their definition of mother.  And I know I quoted this before, but it is a phrase for all time (and one of my favorites):

 

"Mother is the name for God on the Lips and Hearts of all Children"

~ The Crow (1994)

 

[TronRP]

I think I may have overdone it again with yardwork - trimming and cleanup, but we have a week of rain in the forecast (which I do take with a grain of salt) so I tried to make sure everything will be in a manageable state after whatever comes.