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How Are You Feeling? (cont'd)


TronRP

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1 hour ago, BadKitty said:

 

I'm just about at this point.  A few days ago we had what is commonly referred to as a "come to Jesus" talk.  I made it clear that the lines in the sand are gone and are now written in a way that cannot be erased or moved.  ONE more instance of him using, no matter how much or how little, and he's out the door.  It will be HIS choice.  He can have his crack, or he can have me.  But he cannot have both.  The biggest issue is, I think, that he doesn't think he deserves better... and with covid, his meetings aren't happening.  SMART Recovery's only live meeting is Saturday mornings and it's held in a part of Hines Park - outside.  Just not an option.

 

But I told him that I can't see it as not being supportive, because I have been.  I'm at a point where I have to set healthy boundaries and stick to them, for my own sake.  

 

@TronRP thanks for the offer, but no need for the resources.  I've got my own via the Family and Friends network with SMART Recovery, as well as people I know who have gone through this.  He has to make the choice to stop, or not.  I can't control it or him, I can only control my reaction to it.  

 

 

~~~~~

I'm happy to know that you have a support system.  My offer was for services for you.  It is hard on the addicted, but even harder on the ones who love them.

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On 2/9/2021 at 12:41 AM, TronRP said:

I'm so exhausted, but I guess I'd better get to work.  The last thing I want is a squirrel running through the house. 

 

No, definitely not.  Squirrels in the house are a royal pain in the ass.

 

Right now I'm hungry and tired.  And cold, even though I have a space heater blowing on me.  My monitor is dying... it blinks to black screen/no signal, and then back.  Sometimes it takes several minutes before it does it, sometimes it blinks like a strobe light.  Luckily a new one will be delivered tomorrow.  

 

Oh.. and I'm SICK of lawyers.

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28 minutes ago, BadKitty said:

 

No, definitely not.  Squirrels in the house are a royal pain in the ass.

 

Right now I'm hungry and tired.  And cold, even though I have a space heater blowing on me.  My monitor is dying... it blinks to black screen/no signal, and then back.  Sometimes it takes several minutes before it does it, sometimes it blinks like a strobe light.  Luckily a new one will be delivered tomorrow.  

 

Oh.. and I'm SICK of lawyers.

~~~~~

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🤣

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  • 2 weeks later...

Now I really feel old.

 

I watched the airing of the original "The Real World" on MTV years ago. They are reuniting the original 7 house members for a 30th year anniversary reunion.


I'm sitting here like...👀?!?

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm feeling tired and overwhelmed, coupled with irritated.  We had the monumental disaster (vehicle expense, followed by major unexpected repair).  Work is one crisis after another, and the boss insists anything that goes out the door MUST be approved by her, and bitches constantly about communication but SHE is the one who won't answer emails/text messages/phone calls... and then wonders why things are late.  

 

I need a vacation I'll never be able to take.

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4 hours ago, BadKitty said:

I'm feeling tired and overwhelmed, coupled with irritated.  We had the monumental disaster (vehicle expense, followed by major unexpected repair).  Work is one crisis after another, and the boss insists anything that goes out the door MUST be approved by her, and bitches constantly about communication but SHE is the one who won't answer emails/text messages/phone calls... and then wonders why things are late.  

 

I need a vacation I'll never be able to take.

~~~~~

Hugs~:heart:

If it wasn't for the fact that my situation happened over a decade ago, I would have believed we had worked for the same individual. 

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Feeling like I should keep a low profile for a bit.

 

Earlier, I was on my back porch breaking down boxes when my neighbors started blasting their music.  It was so loud that I decided to loudly proclaim why I hated warm weather.

 

In the tone of a Ring Leader of a Grand Circus, I began to bellow, "I HATE WARM WEATHER.  I HATE THE SPRING.  I HATE THE SUMMER.  WHY DO I HATE WARM WEATHER MONTHS?  WHY...THE LOUD MUSIC OF COURSE!"

 

At this point, I noticed that the music had been turned down.  I was wondering if my neighbors were trying to hear what I was yelling.  Then I stated loudly, in the same dramatic tone, "HOW LOUD CAN YOUR MUSIC GO?  HOW LOUD CAN YOUR MUSIC GO?  YOU CAN'T STAY OUTSIDE TOO LONG BECAUSE THE MUSIC IS TOO LOUD.  YOU CAN'T GO INSIDE TO EXCAPE THE MUSIC BECAUSE IT FOLLOWS YOU!

 

At that moment, the music was turned back up for a few seconds and then turned off.  It's been silent ever since...and that was nearly an hour ago.

 

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...whoa, I just checked the time stamp of the photo I took while I was out back.  That all happened around 2:44pm...

😬

Edited by TronRP
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52 minutes ago, BadKitty said:

Hope you're ok.

 

I'm feeling sleepy.  I'll probably go to bed soon.

~~~~~

Fortunately, it's just a bit of fatigue.  I've been running non-spot since Monday morning. 

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Feeling totally exhausted.  Finally made it back in around 5:30pm from an early morning chauffeuring run.  Right now, it feels like I could sleep for a couple of days, but I have another chauffeuring run tomorrow morning and I will be taking my vehicle in for the airbag recall on Wednesday morning. 

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I had needles stuck in my eye on Tuesday again... creepy and traumatic, and I'm glad it's over.  But I'm still tired and stressed out. I found out my husband has been using drugs on average of at least once or twice a week... I knew it, but couldn't prove it.  He hit his rock bottom on Saturday (at least that's what he says) so I'm stressed from that too.

 

I'm overloaded.

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I'm feeling ecstatic that my delivery of Girl Scout Cookies arrived today.  I totally fell into a box of S'mores.  I declare all of these years I have been thinking that the Samoas was a weird spelling for S'mores.  I've never had Girl Scout S'mores before and I totally ate half the box before I was able to stop myself.  But boy were they good.

smeyat 061213.png

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