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How Are You Feeling? (cont'd)


TronRP

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Two weeks ago, today, I started therapy. I have been through an awful lot of trauma in my lifetime, and I also deal with the trauma of people that I love. Tonight was my second appointment. I will be getting evaluated for ADHD inattentive. My therapist said that it couldn’t possibly be more clear that this is what’s going on. However, I have to go through the right channels.
 

I had always suspected. School was a struggle. I don’t focus very well, and I daydream like it’s what I get paid the big bucks for. While I cope rather well, in general, I could use some new coping mechanisms or tweaking of the ones that I’ve been using. Either way, I’m curious to see how this journey ends up.

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On 5/29/2023 at 8:31 PM, GothicRavenGoddess said:

Not great. Dr’s office are kicking their heels about calling my insurance. “Prior authorization” is such a stupid concept. I shouldn’t have to fill my Rx every 7 days instead of every 30. I live 20 mins from town and gas is ridiculous. I’m annoyed, and in a lot of pain. All my joints feel like fire. Walking feels like I’m barefoot on gravel even tho the floor is smooth. Being corporal is stupid.

 


(It's more about the speech than the prosthetic stilt bodysuit, but that's neat too.)

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Accomplished ... a little. Got the final episode of the first of four anthology games put out by Don't Nod and Square Enix finally recorded. The rest of the game has already been uploded to youtube; along with the "Before the Storm" game within the same anthology.

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I’m feeling a bit antsy. This is my first MAJOR outing in… idk how long. Usually it’s just dr appointments. This is so much bigger than that lol I’m looking forward to it but still antsy. Especially since this is my first legit social gathering since having to shave my head. I will be wearing a wig but still… :confused:

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28 minutes ago, GothicRavenGoddess said:

I’m feeling a bit antsy. This is my first MAJOR outing in… idk how long. Usually it’s just dr appointments. This is so much bigger than that lol I’m looking forward to it but still antsy. Especially since this is my first legit social gathering since having to shave my head. I will be wearing a wig but still… :confused:

I totally get. It’s valid and comes along with social anxiety.  Allow the truth that no one really gives a fuck (no I don’t mean that rude or that no one gives a fuck about you personally but my experience is that most people really don’t care especially what you look like) to free you :)  It’s so freeing once you realize. After 40 I have given no fucks and it’s absolutely amazing lol ❤️ 

 

Yes there will be a lot of people. If you need take a little while to recharge in a quiet and safe space between the two events if you are going to both- do it. Make a plan before hand for if you start to feel overwhelmed or overstimulated. Find a safe person that can help you if you start to feel like it’s too much. 
 

 

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40 minutes ago, GothicRavenGoddess said:

I’m feeling a bit antsy. This is my first MAJOR outing in… idk how long. Usually it’s just dr appointments. This is so much bigger than that lol I’m looking forward to it but still antsy. Especially since this is my first legit social gathering since having to shave my head. I will be wearing a wig but still… :confused:

 

3 minutes ago, The1andonlyMEG said:

I totally get. It’s valid and comes along with social anxiety.  Allow the truth that no one really gives a fuck (no I don’t mean that rude or that no one gives a fuck about you personally but my experience is that most people really don’t care especially what you look like) to free you :)  It’s so freeing once you realize. After 40 I have given no fucks and it’s absolutely amazing lol ❤️ 

 

Yes there will be a lot of people. If you need take a little while to recharge in a quiet and safe space between the two events if you are going to both- do it. Make a plan before hand for if you start to feel overwhelmed or overstimulated. Find a safe person that can help you if you start to feel like it’s too much. 
 

 

~~~~~

Truth and group hug

gallery_4589_1202_5869.jpeg

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1 hour ago, The1andonlyMEG said:

I totally get. It’s valid and comes along with social anxiety.  Allow the truth that no one really gives a fuck (no I don’t mean that rude or that no one gives a fuck about you personally but my experience is that most people really don’t care especially what you look like) to free you :)  It’s so freeing once you realize. After 40 I have given no fucks and it’s absolutely amazing lol ❤️ 

 

Yes there will be a lot of people. If you need take a little while to recharge in a quiet and safe space between the two events if you are going to both- do it. Make a plan before hand for if you start to feel overwhelmed or overstimulated. Find a safe person that can help you if you start to feel like it’s too much. 
 

 

 

1 hour ago, TronRP said:

 

~~~~~

Truth and group hug

gallery_4589_1202_5869.jpeg


 

thank you both!! ♥️♥️♥️ :grouphug

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6 hours ago, GothicRavenGoddess said:

I’m feeling a bit antsy. This is my first MAJOR outing in… idk how long. Usually it’s just dr appointments. This is so much bigger than that lol I’m looking forward to it but still antsy. Especially since this is my first legit social gathering since having to shave my head. I will be wearing a wig but still… :confused:

 

3 hours ago, Anna Phylaxis said:

Mildly anxious about this evening. Some of you I haven’t seen in a few years, and some I haven’t seen even longer. I don’t think I’m going to the pop-up goth night, though. I have to paint some rainbow colors into my hair for Pride 

 

We’ll see.

 

Understandable. Take your time. Go find the restroom for a moment for a quick recharge.

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Just now, GothicRavenGoddess said:

Accomplished! ♥️🖤Tonight was so fun!

~~~~~

I was standing there waiting to say something to you, but I was afraid I would interrupt your conversation...then I got blindsided by a fan girl moment.

 

Hi

large.1157545796_thumb_smileyvault-cute-big-smiley-animated-050042713.gif

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On 6/3/2023 at 12:16 AM, TronRP said:

~~~~~

I was standing there waiting to say something to you, but I was afraid I would interrupt your conversation...then I got blindsided by a fan girl moment.

 

Hi

large.1157545796_thumb_smileyvault-cute-big-smiley-animated-050042713.gif

Awww! Next time butt in! Hopefully there will be a next time lol 🫂🫂

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The leader of my group pointed me out of the Crowd walked off stage to me and I realized what she was doing. She was about to force me to dance. I was walking backwards away at first, And so we danced a traditional Russian dance to a Russian song. I couldn't help but smile and laugh. It really refreshed my whole week.

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    • ~~~~~ Yeah, thank you for the check-in.   Happy to say it was all a misunderstanding.  But she pulled out her "ghetto" and that's when things went South.  I get very professional minded when I enter into situations like that because when someone starts bring the court into conversations, I'm in court 2 times a year, every year, so don't go there with me because I will get legal all over you.   She did try to change what she thought she might have said, but I had to call her on it because it's all in written text.  Then she apologized and we were able to have a decent conversation.   I know I joke about me talking so much that people don't hear what I say except for keywords that they are looking for, but that is exactly what happened here.  She heard "payment", "money" and "help out".  It was crazy.  I literally had to have the entire conversation all over again, but I definitely condensed it to only address those 3 words.   Things are back on track, but I emphasized that if she every needed clarification for anything, please say something first instead of jumping to conclusions, then questioning that conclusion, then answering that conclusion, then getting upset at the answer and taking it out on someone who doesn't have a clue what the San Juan Hill just happened.   But this is exactly the reason I do everything with a paper trail. 
    • 3:23pm - Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 70 Guests (See full list) TronRP, creatureofthenyte
    • I'm glad  that yesterday's day at work is long gone now. There was a very strong unusual energy that I felt, and couldn't get done with the day fast enough. It wasn't  the job at all. I just felt like I really needed to keep my mouth shut, to keep me from getting in situation(s) that probably wouldn't have ended well for me.  
    • You can trust anyone you want.  The only question is whether or not they're deserving of that trust. No risk = no reward.  As such you have to let yourself be vulnerable sometimes and realize that all people will let you down eventually whether it's intentional or not.  The frequency that it happens is what's important.
    • Sorry, I don't check this as often as I should. Anyway document everything (although it sounds like @Trene4000already has been from her post.) It's okay to cry and break down, but not in front of them.  Never give them the satisfaction of seeing you crack.  If anything I'd go out of my way to piss them off, but I don't like being that guy either (and as such I'm not very good at it, except sometimes when I'm not intending to be.) I try to only help those whom deserve it, but that's often hard to judge.  Seeing how someone treats other people is a pretty good indicator of whether or not they're worthy.  Sociopathic narcissistic asshats are very much not worthy. I hope things are going well for you guys.
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