How Are You Feeling? (cont'd)

[WhiteLines]

1 minute ago, Scary Guy said:

 

I mean even if she didn't say it (including to herself) it isn't like it wouldn't still exist.  Unacknowledged or unrealized sadness is still sadness.

One of the worst parts about depression is having all of your needs met and still feeling empty / unhappy.

I wouldn't call it sadness right here but I think she nailed down a word that could convey the general vibe of it to everyone in a 'roundabout way... Until you freakin' said "EMPTY"! Wtf that's a far more accurate one word summary. Jesus Scary, just swoop in and steal the thunder right out from her right after I made a point to give her props on it. Gosh darn it, okay we'll call it "empty" now. It's settled. Thank you for your contribution. LMFAO

[Scary Guy]

13 minutes ago, WhiteLines said:

I wouldn't call it sadness right here but I think she nailed down a word that could convey the general vibe of it to everyone in a 'roundabout way... Until you freakin' said "EMPTY"! Wtf that's a far more accurate one word summary. Jesus Scary, just swoop in and steal the thunder right out from her right after I made a point to give her props on it. Gosh darn it, okay we'll call it "empty" now. It's settled. Thank you for your contribution. LMFAO

A blackened rose by any other name would still feel as thorny.

I've been doing depression so long I just feel numb.  It's like a scab that has fallen off and calloused over leaving a nifty scar I'd rather not have.  Then people go "hey that's a cool scar how did you get it?" and I go "I got in a fight with life and life won" when the real story is just life stuck it's foot out and I tripped into a hedge trimmer or some shit like that.

Edited July 19, 2023 by Scary Guy

[WhiteLines]

1 hour ago, Scary Guy said:

A blackened rose by any other name would still feel as thorny.

I've been doing depression so long I just feel numb.  It's like a scab that has fallen off and calloused over leaving a nifty scar I'd rather not have.  Then people go "hey that's a cool scar how did you get it?" and I go "I got in a fight with life and life won" when the real story is just life stuck it's foot out and I tripped into a hedge trimmer or some shit like that.

Yeah and I usually spew out colorful vocabulary by the hundreds and thousands of words but at this time I have nothing to say at this time. That time will be soon tho, and the place will be here. I use DGN as my cybernetic therapist on occasion... obviously right lmao. Shits a straight dumpster fire tho lol 

[SlavicGoth]

Nothing but ghosts and hallowed out memories in my dreams lately 

[et-novum]

Got a pit in my stomach and a hole in my brain but the feeling in the cards is optimistic.

[WhiteLines]

8 hours ago, SlavicGoth said:

Nothing but ghosts and hallowed out memories in my dreams lately 

Well said. I can certainly identify with what that's like.

[kat (1)]

On 7/19/2023 at 12:51 AM, TronRP said:

~~~~~

Oh no, don't say that.

Head tripping was all. 

Edited July 20, 2023 by kat

[TronRP]

Feels like that sleep study (that I sat in on) ended up wiping me out.  I just really managed to wake up completely since getting back in this morning.  Fortunately, I made some lunch around 10:30am that I never got the chance to eat because I passed out.  So at least I actually had food ready to eat when I did wake up. 

[Scary Guy]

19 minutes ago, TronRP said:

Feels like that sleep study (that I sat in on) ended up wiping me out.  I just really managed to wake up completely since getting back in this morning.  Fortunately, I made some lunch around 10:30am that I never got the chance to eat because I passed out.  So at least I actually had food ready to eat when I did wake up. 

Almost sounds like you could use a study yourself, as you always seem to be tired lately.

I hope you're okay and that it's not indicative of something more serious.

[TronRP]

6 minutes ago, Scary Guy said:

Almost sounds like you could use a study yourself, as you always seem to be tired lately.

I hope you're okay and that it's not indicative of something more serious.

~~~~~

Yeah, I cut out all the stuff I am actually doing and just call it "chauffeuring", but every time I post that, it is usually a 2 to 5 hour event at a time.  Then I get back and start work.

 

It's just that we used to be able to schedule an off day between each appointment, but with the ways things are going with Trene, her appointment schedule has been bombarded and I'm her legal guardian, chauffeur and representative.

[Scary Guy]

14 minutes ago, TronRP said:

~~~~~

Yeah, I cut out all the stuff I am actually doing and just call it "chauffeuring", but every time I post that, it is usually a 2 to 5 hour event at a time.  Then I get back and start work.

 

It's just that we used to be able to schedule an off day between each appointment, but with the ways things are going with Trene, her appointment schedule has been bombarded and I'm her legal guardian, chauffeur and representative.

Oof, well I hope the state pays you for that like it does Stu.

I also hope she's okay.

[TronRP]

3 minutes ago, Scary Guy said:

Oof, well I hope the state pays you for that like it does Stu.

I also hope she's okay.

~~~~~

I helped Stu get setup since he was already in the assisting role.

 

The state dropped Trene.

 

Everything I do is through the insurance company covering the accident claim.

 

It is determined that she is making some improvements, but it is a long haul.

[Scary Guy]

Just now, TronRP said:

~~~~~

I helped Stu get setup since he was already in the assisting role.

 

The state dropped Trene.

 

Everything I do is through the insurance company covering the accident claim.

 

It is determined that she is making some improvements, but it is a long haul.

 

Oh wow, that's cool!

 

Oh wow, that sucks :(

Oh wow, that's...  good?

Finally, that's good to hear.  One day at a time as they say.

[TronRP]

I could not walk earlier.

 

Laying down on that pullout chair, in the study room, aggravated all the injuries my right hip has incurred over the years.  Fortunately, it was more of a muscular issue than anything else, but I couldn't put my weight on it.

 

I looked like I was trying out for a part as an extra in a zombie movie - just trying to get to the bathroom, clean the girls and feed the ferals.

 

Glad to say I'm feeling much better now.

[TronRP]

6 minutes ago, TronRP said:

I could not walk earlier.

 

Laying down on that pullout chair, in the study room, aggravated all the injuries my right hip has incurred over the years.  Fortunately, it was more of a muscular issue than anything else, but I couldn't put my weight on it.

 

I looked like I was trying out for a part as an extra in a zombie movie - just trying to get to the bathroom, clean the girls and feed the ferals.

 

Glad to say I'm feeling much better now.

~~~~~

I suppose I can't say "could not walk".  Zombie walk is a thing.

[et-novum]

11 minutes ago, TronRP said:

I could not walk earlier.

 

Laying down on that pullout chair, in the study room, aggravated all the injuries my right hip has incurred over the years.  Fortunately, it was more of a muscular issue than anything else, but I couldn't put my weight on it.

 

I looked like I was trying out for a part as an extra in a zombie movie - just trying to get to the bathroom, clean the girls and feed the ferals.

 

Glad to say I'm feeling much better now.

 

So sorry to hear that 😕 one-legged limping is hard.

I'm glad you're feeling bettter. I hope the kitties appreciated the food  -- if they even knew what was going on o_o

[TronRP]

1 minute ago, et-novum said:

 

So sorry to hear that 😕 one-legged limping is hard.

I'm glad you're feeling bettter. I hope the kitties appreciated the food  -- if they even knew what was going on o_o

~~~~~

I actually ended up cracking up at myself.

 

Also, yes, the ones I call the "Feral Furs" are very aware of the situation.  Even to the point where the older cats will bring the kittens around to eat.  I even have a opossum who just had a baby and the baby knows where to come eat.

 

In the Winter, I have a fan that blows heat from the kitchen window to an enclosed section of my back porch where they hang out when the weather gets too bad.

 

Every few seasons, there is a changing of the guards (as to who is the top cat).

 

They know me at sight, so I try to keep my activities with them limited to after the Sun goes down so I won't be labeled "The Crazy Cat...Lady?"

[SlavicGoth]

In the mood today where I want to see ww3 happen already and just have the earth glassed with nuclear fire. 

[TronRP]

2 hours ago, SlavicGoth said:

In the mood today where I want to see ww3 happen already and just have the earth glassed with nuclear fire. 

~~~~~

It would be beautiful devastation seen from a distance.  I would just much rather not be on the planet at the time it happens.

 

When we were growing up, there was constant talk that Gorbachev was going to bomb the U.S. so we were told to make sure we knew where Ground Zero was because you wanted to insure you went out in the initial impact because surviving Radiation Fallout and into Nuclear Winter would be a slow and painful death.

 

That's what the movie "The Day After (1983)" was about:

~~~~~

Sorry, your comment just ignited some old memories I had forgotten I had.

😅

[TronRP]

I feel like I've been put through the wringer dealing with this boy and Momentum Week at WSU.

 

Since he only knew about this for 2 weeks, he decided to wait until today to get everything together for a week's stay on campus.  Within 10 minutes of waking up, I was on the phone with the administration office to request permission to digitally send my verification so the boy could attend this event.

 

Then he had nerve enough to start rapid firing requests for things that he needed asap at me.  I got so snarky with him that I didn't know who I was.  That was upsetting, yet he felt he had enough time to sit around and ask to play videogames Thursday night when he could have been packing.

 

He won't listen to us when we tell him that he is now in the grown-ups arena.  Stuff is not done for you, you have to handle it yourself.  But if he keeps up like this, he will be front and center for his rude awakening.

[kat (1)]

2 hours ago, TronRP said:

I feel like I've been put through the wringer dealing with this boy and Momentum Week at WSU.

 

Since he only knew about this for 2 weeks, he decided to wait until today to get everything together for a week's stay on campus.  Within 10 minutes of waking up, I was on the phone with the administration office to request permission to digitally send my verification so the boy could attend this event.

 

Then he had nerve enough to start rapid firing requests for things that he needed asap at me.  I got so snarky with him that I didn't know who I was.  That was upsetting, yet he felt he had enough time to sit around and ask to play videogames Thursday night when he could have been packing.

 

He won't listen to us when we tell him that he is now in the grown-ups arena.  Stuff is not done for you, you have to handle it yourself.  But if he keeps up like this, he will be front and center for his rude awakening.

Oh man, WSU he'll have to stay on top of stuff there because they make things more complicated. They just want that $$

[TronRP]

5 minutes ago, kat said:

Oh man, WSU he'll have to stay on top of stuff there because they make things more complicated. They just want that $$

~~~~~

I feel bad that you had a bad time with them.  I went to school there as well as worked in the UGLY and was a Supplemental Instructor until 2002.  Because they were a commuter school (didn't have dorms for long-term stay) WSU was not taken very seriously when people spoke of getting a "real" education...regardless of the fact that WSU is known nationwide for Math and Law.

 

In order to be more competitive, they began adding dorms, upping telecommunications (where @Trene4000 worked) and expanding the administration to include more overseas programs (that's how I got to study abroad in Japan for nearly a year).

 

Because I was part of the staff at the time, I got to see most of the "numbers" and we were still under the nation average.  But I suppose if you don't have the support, it can feel like money grubbing.

 

That is actually how I feel about LIT later LTU.  They didn't want me, although I had the knowledge, because I was in the wrong tax bracket for what they were looking for.  That's how I ended up at WSU.  And UofM was just a bit too competitive and 2.5 times more expensive.

 

Once you are a WSU student, you are a student for life.  You can take a break, go back later, graduate, come back and study another field, etc., all with the same WSU status.

 

I've already spoken with counselors regarding completing my degree regardless of the 10 year gap.  When I'm ready, all I have to do is call.

[NocteSpiritus]

Mixed feelings about going to work tomorrow. Glad I get to go in, yet not wanting to. 

[Scary Guy]

9 hours ago, TronRP said:

~~~~~

It would be beautiful devastation seen from a distance.  I would just much rather not be on the planet at the time it happens.

 

When we were growing up, there was constant talk that Gorbachev was going to bomb the U.S. so we were told to make sure we knew where Ground Zero was because you wanted to insure you went out in the initial impact because surviving Radiation Fallout and into Nuclear Winter would be a slow and painful death.

 

That's what the movie "The Day After (1983)" was about:

~~~~~

Sorry, your comment just ignited some old memories I had forgotten I had.

😅

I was always more of a fan of Threads.  Released a year later it makes The Day After look like a Disney production:
 

 

Failsafe was very good too, but you can't really find it for free on YouTube.  There are a few other good movies in this nuclear doomsday genre that are based in a potential reality.

But yes, living by Detroit is scary because we're pretty high up on the list of strike zones.  All our automotive plants can be converter into tank manufacturing very quickly.  We have a military base and some other heavy industry/design companies too.

As long as I have at least one bullet I'll be safe from the fallout.  Maybe I'd stick around to see the chaos a bit though before punching my ticket into oblivion.

[WhiteLines]

Overloaded & shutdown. I made the trip to the homestead unannounced this time and arrived the other night to find an absolute fu¢¢in' disaster. Can barely even walk thru the house. Barely even have the energy to walk, doesn't take long to become ill from this place.