How Are You Feeling? (cont'd)

[Queen of Foxes]

Hanging in there, dancing by a thread. 

[Rayne]

Started some new meds that are making me feel terrible. 🙄

[Queen of Foxes]

5 hours ago, Rayne said:

Started some new meds that are making me feel terrible. 🙄

Definitely get a hold of your doctor please. Meds are incredibly important and also dangerous. I'm on a lot myself, so I get it. 

[Queen of Foxes]

Better. Made it through the night. Still eating while I'm falling asleep. Eating a bag of chips at night with other snacks while I'm half awake. I know this isn't healthy. I'm just so unhappy and can't get myself out of a spot. Michigan’s "care" is a joke. No one takes the insurance they give us, so I have to use my disibility that is to go to, idk, bills for my house, go to insurance now so I can have good teeth and health. 

 

The woman's "safe" spaces are NOT safe. DO NOT believe them. 

 

Whatever the government gives as help isn't in healthy shape and I refuse to put myself through dirty conditions. At least here I can afford gardens, I can afford all the food I want to cook, no matter the rarity of ingredients. I'm safe here. I just have to pretend for it to be happy... Things I NEED to balance myself. Really important things to my health, things that don't come easy and the tens years I went without were incredibly difficult. 

 

I told him, for me being as stressed I am, forced into a manic state from stress being too much, I am INCREDIBLY horny... And he stated he's not attracted to me, and then I saw myself begging for it... Which made a huge turn in me.... And eventually it turned to, even if he did try to touch me, I don't think I want him to anymore. 

 

He spent six years always telling me what's wrong with me. If I ever told him, even nicely what's wrong with him, 

 

He'd do this thing with his tongue in his mouth, bite his lip, walk away, come back in and say "Well since we are having a pow wow" and starts turning what was me telling him I see him struggling and I really think getting help from all the trauma he went through (I mean, what kid had scars on his back from his dad trying to kill his mom constantly? Who wouldn't have issues who never seeked help)... I so yeah, what is me asking him to go get mental health help, the same thing he expected of me.. 

 

Not following what he's preaching... 

 

So what usually is me reaching out as a worried partner turns into him getting mad and attacking me because he cannot handle the truth.... 

 

He also likes to sit on Google and diagnose himself and not get help. 

 

I've told him he's giving every excuse not to go. He now says "they'll put me on meth".... They won't put you on the anything if you decline and ask for a therapist.... I've been in therapy my entire life. By choice... I KNOW.... 

 

I don't usually say body types make me grossed out, but he doesn't do anything to really work out. When we have sex, if we ever do, be lays on his side and that's it... He says it's fun... Cool... 

 

When he wants to go out, he triggers me, then leaves me at gone alone triggered.. 

 

If he drinks, he is definitely meaner and will make me do things to harm myself to prove his point, as well as threaten to break stuff to watch me cower. 

 

If I'm in a melt down, he refuses to touch me because I'm "being that way" again and "I want it" (to be touched) so he won't do it. 

 

I don't have family... I have very special needs to it's like, I can't live with just anyone. 

 

Plus, I'm tired of being homeless. This is my home... He needs to go... Not me... He has all the friends and family.. I don't... I just want my home. I worked hard for this place. I shouldn't have to be homeless. He literally hides in one room all day, I work through this entire house daily. You can even tell I live here. 

 

And if he goes, I lose my dog... He will take him.. Even though I walk that dog daily and take care of him.... 

 

But one look at the records, who cares if I'm on meds and getting therapy and this is all my choice and I'm not forced. It says, I'm mentally ill, so I must be the mentally ill one. Not the true untreated folk running around pretending their normal... Yeah, us people who actually work hard to be normal, are the crazy one, yet the ones who abuse people, are sane 😥 I hate this... Idk what to do.. I don't want help... I just... I just... Want to go to sleep and not wake up.. Finding out I was autistic, late in life, I didn't need to hear that.... It just makes things more difficult... I'm tired of love... I'm tired of people... I just want to be alone... 

[Slogo]

A bit tired

[Rayne]

2 hours ago, Queen of Foxes said:

Definitely get a hold of your doctor please. Meds are incredibly important and also dangerous. I'm on a lot myself, so I get it. 

Already did. Normal for this medication but should even out and start to help soon. I knew this going in but this is currently my best choice. 

[Scary Guy]

3 hours ago, Queen of Foxes said:

Better. Made it through the night. Still eating while I'm falling asleep. Eating a bag of chips at night with other snacks while I'm half awake. I know this isn't healthy. I'm just so unhappy and can't get myself out of a spot. Michigan’s "care" is a joke. No one takes the insurance they give us, so I have to use my disibility that is to go to, idk, bills for my house, go to insurance now so I can have good teeth and health. 

 

The woman's "safe" spaces are NOT safe. DO NOT believe them. 

 

Whatever the government gives as help isn't in healthy shape and I refuse to put myself through dirty conditions. At least here I can afford gardens, I can afford all the food I want to cook, no matter the rarity of ingredients. I'm safe here. I just have to pretend for it to be happy... Things I NEED to balance myself. Really important things to my health, things that don't come easy and the tens years I went without were incredibly difficult. 

 

I told him, for me being as stressed I am, forced into a manic state from stress being too much, I am INCREDIBLY horny... And he stated he's not attracted to me, and then I saw myself begging for it... Which made a huge turn in me.... And eventually it turned to, even if he did try to touch me, I don't think I want him to anymore. 

 

He spent six years always telling me what's wrong with me. If I ever told him, even nicely what's wrong with him, 

 

He'd do this thing with his tongue in his mouth, bite his lip, walk away, come back in and say "Well since we are having a pow wow" and starts turning what was me telling him I see him struggling and I really think getting help from all the trauma he went through (I mean, what kid had scars on his back from his dad trying to kill his mom constantly? Who wouldn't have issues who never seeked help)... I so yeah, what is me asking him to go get mental health help, the same thing he expected of me.. 

 

Not following what he's preaching... 

 

So what usually is me reaching out as a worried partner turns into him getting mad and attacking me because he cannot handle the truth.... 

 

He also likes to sit on Google and diagnose himself and not get help. 

 

I've told him he's giving every excuse not to go. He now says "they'll put me on meth".... They won't put you on the anything if you decline and ask for a therapist.... I've been in therapy my entire life. By choice... I KNOW.... 

 

I don't usually say body types make me grossed out, but he doesn't do anything to really work out. When we have sex, if we ever do, be lays on his side and that's it... He says it's fun... Cool... 

 

When he wants to go out, he triggers me, then leaves me at gone alone triggered.. 

 

If he drinks, he is definitely meaner and will make me do things to harm myself to prove his point, as well as threaten to break stuff to watch me cower. 

 

If I'm in a melt down, he refuses to touch me because I'm "being that way" again and "I want it" (to be touched) so he won't do it. 

 

I don't have family... I have very special needs to it's like, I can't live with just anyone. 

 

Plus, I'm tired of being homeless. This is my home... He needs to go... Not me... He has all the friends and family.. I don't... I just want my home. I worked hard for this place. I shouldn't have to be homeless. He literally hides in one room all day, I work through this entire house daily. You can even tell I live here. 

 

And if he goes, I lose my dog... He will take him.. Even though I walk that dog daily and take care of him.... 

 

But one look at the records, who cares if I'm on meds and getting therapy and this is all my choice and I'm not forced. It says, I'm mentally ill, so I must be the mentally ill one. Not the true untreated folk running around pretending their normal... Yeah, us people who actually work hard to be normal, are the crazy one, yet the ones who abuse people, are sane 😥 I hate this... Idk what to do.. I don't want help... I just... I just... Want to go to sleep and not wake up.. Finding out I was autistic, late in life, I didn't need to hear that.... It just makes things more difficult... I'm tired of love... I'm tired of people... I just want to be alone... 

 

Hearing you describe him it sounds like he has textbook narcissism.  At least with the deflection, controlling you to get his way, gaslighting you to make things sound like they're completely your fault etc...

 

Also sounds like you have depression on top of everything else, but who wouldn't in your situation.  I hope things get better, and they probably will once he leaves.

Who's name is on the title to the place though?  If it's yours then you can always evict him.  If it's his I'm afraid the law doesn't care who uses most of it or takes care of it more.

 

 

1 hour ago, Rayne said:

Already did. Normal for this medication but should even out and start to help soon. I knew this going in but this is currently my best choice. 

 

Best of luck getting used to it.

[TronRP]

Feeling like I should be over this geek out already.  But, for some reason, I just get so star struck over DGN members.

[Queen of Foxes]

2 hours ago, Rayne said:

Already did. Normal for this medication but should even out and start to help soon. I knew this going in but this is currently my best choice. 

Good. If anything happens more, get a hold of 911 or someone fast. Please be safe 

[TronRP]

Feeling much better than when I woke up this morning.  It took all day, but I was able to rehydrate myself slow and steady.  But for the life of me, I'm not sure what exactly I did to dehydrate in the first place. 

[phee]

I feel like the Universe is lobbing Russian Migs at where I live. 

[creatureofthenyte]

I feel like I spent the afternoon with my cats.

[NocteSpiritus]

1 hour ago, phee said:

I feel like the Universe is lobbing Russian Migs at where I live. 

 

Maybe it was. I heard about the crash.

[phee]

Just now, NocteSpiritus said:

 

Maybe it was. I heard about the crash.

A few hundred yards from where I live.

[NocteSpiritus]

1 minute ago, phee said:

A few hundred yards from where I live.

 

Geez. That was close.

[Scary Guy]

Well rested because I overslept, and well fed because I still made it to @Serxera's place for dinner.

[Slogo]

Fucking beat

[Msterbeau]

Tired and sore.  But the good kind.  A great weekend.  

[oXMiahGraceXo]

I still feel like I took a semi to the cervix and it's four days out since the IUD insertion. 

But! Results of the ultrasound confirmed that it's in the right spot and nothing ruptured, no tumors ect. 

 

So once again, I feel better than I did 24 hours ago 

[Scary Guy]

2 hours ago, oXMiahGraceXo said:

I still feel like I took a semi to the cervix and it's four days out since the IUD insertion. 

But! Results of the ultrasound confirmed that it's in the right spot and nothing ruptured, no tumors ect. 

 

So once again, I feel better than I did 24 hours ago 

 

I'm still concerned that you may be having an adverse reaction to it, possibly from an infection.  Hopefully they gave you some antibiotics just in case.

[et-novum]

I'm exhausted from last week. I think today is going to be a self care day. Haven't had one of those in a while. But first I need to tidy my kitchen. Because sometimes self care is putting things in order.

[Slogo]

A bit concerned. 😕

[know_buddy_kares]

Stressed. Kids had a rough morning, refusing to get ready every step of the way. Some days are like this. Still got to work on time.

[oXMiahGraceXo]

7 hours ago, Scary Guy said:

 

I'm still concerned that you may be having an adverse reaction to it, possibly from an infection.  Hopefully they gave you some antibiotics just in case.

 

So fat there's no indication of that, but my fingers are crossed because that is a major risk. 

On account of all the iodine they put in the part of the body with the most sensitive pH 🙃

[phee]

Still a tad worried about it being MiG season around where I live.