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How Are You Feeling? (cont'd)


TronRP

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3 hours ago, gwen said:

I fell So my shoulder hurts big x but

relieved she passed without much suffering 

pretty much went unconscious and died a few days later probably pumped full of morphine.

 

 

 

 

I feel like I want to punch whoever made/uploaded that video for not adding in credit for whatever animation that video used.

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5 hours ago, gwen said:

rights violated

does an atheist or

even a dark metaphysical practitioner 

WANT her bag of weed

blessed by counter personal weighing it out?

was it warranted by my appearance?

did I ask for it?

nope.

but here she was with her hands wavering over my stash

eyes closed

anch and cross necklaces dangling  round her neck

for fucks sake I ain't even safe from your religious rhetoric in the pot store!

 

Complain to management/owner.  If that is her then start shopping elsewhere.

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Renewed and rejuvenated. That trip to England really brought in some unknown closure for everyone. My wife's family, and my own emotional wells have been refilled. Kids immediately bonded as if they have always known them. Dark clouds that couldn't be shaken off no matter what length I went through are finally gone. Not saying everything is happy now. Her absence is still missed by all of us. But this trip really did set things right for all of us.

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Feels just did a 180 today. My job just let go of 20 or so people today. I was not one of them, but instead of high motivation for 2024, I'm feeling anxiety. There's always unemployment, and maybe under the table type work, and my savings if things get really rough. But fuck man.. 2024 was the year my stocks were going to absolutely soar if I could keep throwing down every month. Still hoping, but fucking scared.

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I'm feeling great. I've been focusing on building myself up and finding good and solid people to spend time with. Reconnected with old friends I hadn't seen in a few years, and it was like no time had passed. Doing things that make me happy. The biggest life changes for me happen at the turn of the seasons and now is no exception. But this time it's good for once :)

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On 11/4/2023 at 9:57 AM, gwen said:

Torn rotator cuff pain.

almost passed out when I got up

I am going to go swim in a pool of coffee.

gotta go thru the old ladies house 2day

why do old ppl collect so much useless stuff?

like dirty plastic containers 

just

why.

and I have never seen so many angel figurines in my life.

and religious pamphlets from church 

it's like

she saved

EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

never to be read again

judging by the dust.

it's like

you don't realize it's a pep talk a man wrote.

NOT a god.

~~~~~

I get in trouble for these thoughts...

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I find it harder and harder to feel motivated enough to get out of bed.  I know everything I need to handle will still be there even if I miss a day.  I will feel bad, however, because I provide care for all of our rescues and I feed a lot of the neighborhood feral wildlife.  But I know they won't starve to death if I miss one day.

I just don't like this apathetic feeling and lack of motivation.  I used to be so full of life and ambitions.  Maybe I've been beat down so much that I finally went under and my floaty device malfunctioned this time so I nerve fully resurfaced.

 

Whatever it is, I need it to pass.  I have too much I want to accomplish before I depart this mortal coil. 

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    • ~~~~~ Yeah, thank you for the check-in.   Happy to say it was all a misunderstanding.  But she pulled out her "ghetto" and that's when things went South.  I get very professional minded when I enter into situations like that because when someone starts bring the court into conversations, I'm in court 2 times a year, every year, so don't go there with me because I will get legal all over you.   She did try to change what she thought she might have said, but I had to call her on it because it's all in written text.  Then she apologized and we were able to have a decent conversation.   I know I joke about me talking so much that people don't hear what I say except for keywords that they are looking for, but that is exactly what happened here.  She heard "payment", "money" and "help out".  It was crazy.  I literally had to have the entire conversation all over again, but I definitely condensed it to only address those 3 words.   Things are back on track, but I emphasized that if she every needed clarification for anything, please say something first instead of jumping to conclusions, then questioning that conclusion, then answering that conclusion, then getting upset at the answer and taking it out on someone who doesn't have a clue what the San Juan Hill just happened.   But this is exactly the reason I do everything with a paper trail. 
    • 3:23pm - Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 70 Guests (See full list) TronRP, creatureofthenyte
    • I'm glad  that yesterday's day at work is long gone now. There was a very strong unusual energy that I felt, and couldn't get done with the day fast enough. It wasn't  the job at all. I just felt like I really needed to keep my mouth shut, to keep me from getting in situation(s) that probably wouldn't have ended well for me.  
    • You can trust anyone you want.  The only question is whether or not they're deserving of that trust. No risk = no reward.  As such you have to let yourself be vulnerable sometimes and realize that all people will let you down eventually whether it's intentional or not.  The frequency that it happens is what's important.
    • Sorry, I don't check this as often as I should. Anyway document everything (although it sounds like @Trene4000already has been from her post.) It's okay to cry and break down, but not in front of them.  Never give them the satisfaction of seeing you crack.  If anything I'd go out of my way to piss them off, but I don't like being that guy either (and as such I'm not very good at it, except sometimes when I'm not intending to be.) I try to only help those whom deserve it, but that's often hard to judge.  Seeing how someone treats other people is a pretty good indicator of whether or not they're worthy.  Sociopathic narcissistic asshats are very much not worthy. I hope things are going well for you guys.
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