How Are You Feeling? (cont'd)

[TronRP]

22 hours ago, BadKitty said:

I'm in a lot of pain.  Diabetic peripheral neuropathy is painful in the cold weather, but summer heat/humidity causes its own issues - including swelling of ankles/feet and mine are epically swollen right now.  Add in just general aches and pains in the upper back/shoulders, I'm falling apart LOL.  But I just keep on going...

~~~~~

[WhiteLines]

Ohhhihk I'm up. I feel numb and pain pain my legs sting. Pain WTF. They burn. Kneecaps not wanna be bendy for me. Just terrible idea. Solitude got too solitary and I needed a coping mechanism that aint got th same name as I do so i gone out on walkabout from like 4:00AM all the way to 2:00pm and found some freakin fantastic terrain to traverse. Acres of dumped stone and concrete, a way bigger water tower, and one giant tractor hidden in the darkness. Fun $h¡† but did not mechanically rest up any of my parts much.

[kat (1)]

I have a 16 year old girl in Texas who is suicidal right now from my karaoke app. I'm talking to her, I've talked her down before but I don't know what to do, I had the same situation with a kid from the UK and he's doing amazing now, I actually went on Facebook and found his mom because that's someone's baby and he needed to be heard. It am so happy that his mom listened and it turned out very well. I would go to Texas and take care of her if I could.  Her mom died when she was 12 😪

[kat (1)]

She agreed that she'd journal and make no decisions about her life for the next 24 hours.  

[TronRP]

1 hour ago, kat said:

She agreed that she'd journal and make no decisions about her life for the next 24 hours.  

~~~~~

Does she have anyone or any helpline to turn to?

[kat (1)]

18 minutes ago, TronRP said:

~~~~~

Does she have anyone or any helpline to turn to?

I sent her the national suicide crisis line for youth. She journaled on her computer and let some stuff out and than said she was going to go to bed. She's going to be ok, she has my number too and she has a handful of us on the app that she turns to. Tonight she had her app boyfriend Break up with her and that kinda triggered it. Than she said she was suicidal but had ice cream so was better..I been  like the her online auntie for a few years now.  She gets attached to us older women over there because we're like a mom figure for her.  She has several Karaoke moms there. She checks in with me like daily. She's in bed now but she has a very traditional Mexican family so they're all pretty close. Her grandmother is the  matriarch and is raising her very catholic. Strict from what I see. I think she's actually homeschooled even.

Edited June 13, 2022 by kat

[kat (1)]

Teenagers/preteens naturally kind of are my niche.  I connect with that age group well, it's like I literally can put myself back to that age and mindset when they need me. I can be in bad shape mentally but if a kid needs me, I become a momma bear and want to protect them instantly.  That's what I miss about Juvenile Justice work. I miss the kids alot. I miss seeing the little look of happiness they get when they know that I am listening to them and validate them. That's so important to just be heard. I miss my old self.

Edited June 13, 2022 by kat

[kat (1)]

I actually had a goal to work for child protective services when I went to college.  I remember how they never got us when we were kids, I was always so sad when they didn't take us. That's hard to say. I remember thinking, how can they leave us here? That's when I knew that I needed to do something but I was little.  I grew up and when I told people that was my dream, well, I rarely told anyone because who really wants to say my dream is to break up people's family? I mean,  that's the rap they get.

I just never wanted another little kid to be left behind,  crying like I was because they didn't save us yet. 

Edited June 13, 2022 by kat

[TronRP]

1 hour ago, kat said:

I actually had a goal to work for child protective services when I went to college.  I remember how they never got us when we were kids, I was always so sad when they didn't take us. That's hard to say. I remember thinking, how can they leave us here? That's when I knew that I needed to do something but I was little.  I grew up and when I told people that was my dream, well, I rarely told anyone because who really wants to say my dream is to break up people's family? I mean,  that's the rap they get.

I just never wanted another little kid to be left behind,  crying like I was because they didn't save us yet. 

~~~~~

I totally understand that feeling of wanting to protect the innocent.

 

We went to school with kids that needed to be rescued and they saw us as their only outlet.  Our mother would let them come to our house to play and eat food out of our garden.  Sometimes we had to do it in secret for a couple of the kids so their parents didn't retaliate on us...again.

 

But something happened back then and the system changed because all the struggling kids got extremely overlooked and the system came after us because we were being raised by a single mother of 4 kids.  We had food, we had utilities, we were doing good in school, we had a church support system, but the state said their was something wrong with us because there was one son and no father figure...living in the home. 🤨

 

Every time we had to report to the Children's Center, they kept reminding us about pregnant teens (because there were 3 girls).  Sure we used to babysit, but I was 7.  I was more interested in taking care of other peoples' kids and sending them home and being paid for a job well done.

 

They watched us like a hawk until the last of us was 10 years old and our mother had gone back into the workforce.

 

The system got even more broken by the time the Monchichis came along which is why we made sure to get them and protect them from the state.  By that time, they had no shame in there being documentation regarding how much each child in the system was worth to that particular state.  And yet, while the city was trying to get their hands on our little ones, I was watching babies under the age of 3 being neglected by 2 households full of adults right across the street from us.  And there was nothing we could do because they were already moving the children around to keep them on the move.

 

Oh my, I really didn't mean to go into all of that, but I still get upset about how the system is still "handling" things.

😒

[kat (1)]

1 hour ago, TronRP said:

~~~~~

I totally understand that feeling of wanting to protect the innocent.

 

We went to school with kids that needed to be rescued and they saw us as their only outlet.  Our mother would let them come to our house to play and eat food out of our garden.  Sometimes we had to do it in secret for a couple of the kids so their parents didn't retaliate on us...again.

 

But something happened back then and the system changed because all the struggling kids got extremely overlooked and the system came after us because we were being raised by a single mother of 4 kids.  We had food, we had utilities, we were doing good in school, we had a church support system, but the state said their was something wrong with us because there was one son and no father figure...living in the home. 🤨

 

Every time we had to report to the Children's Center, they kept reminding us about pregnant teens (because there were 3 girls).  Sure we used to babysit, but I was 7.  I was more interested in taking care of other peoples' kids and sending them home and being paid for a job well done.

 

They watched us like a hawk until the last of us was 10 years old and our mother had gone back into the workforce.

 

The system got even more broken by the time the Monchichis came along which is why we made sure to get them and protect them from the state.  By that time, they had no shame in there being documentation regarding how much each child in the system was worth to that particular state.  And yet, while the city was trying to get their hands on our little ones, I was watching babies under the age of 3 being neglected by 2 households full of adults right across the street from us.  And there was nothing we could do because they were already moving the children around to keep them on the move.

 

Oh my, I really didn't mean to go into all of that, but I still get upset about how the system is still "handling" things.

😒

Omg no, I totally get it. The system is a sad, mess. Its like they completely ignore the kids who actually at risk, that's why you see stories like Andrea Yates, oh and Mitchelle Blair, her kids were literally not seen by neighbors for like a year,  not in school, etc...I'm not sure if you know that case but It's absolutely horrendous and her behavior and attitude about it was even more disturbing. 

 

I'm sorry your family got caught up in that. CPS is so backwards. It all needs an overhaul. The whole state. 

[Class-Punk]

This year is going to be an economic roller-coaster.

Edited June 13, 2022 by Class-Punk

[TronRP]

7 hours ago, kat said:

Omg no, I totally get it. The system is a sad, mess. Its like they completely ignore the kids who actually at risk, that's why you see stories like Andrea Yates, oh and Mitchelle Blair, her kids were literally not seen by neighbors for like a year,  not in school, etc...I'm not sure if you know that case but It's absolutely horrendous and her behavior and attitude about it was even more disturbing. 

 

I'm sorry your family got caught up in that. CPS is so backwards. It all needs an overhaul. The whole state. 

~~~~~

Exactly.  Cases like those, the Turpin children, the cult "Children of God", the feral children raised by dogs and wolves in countries like Russia and the Ukraine, etc., made me wish I was a vigilante for child justice.

 

I studied Child Development in college and was introduced to case loads of child abuse and abandonment cases that had long reaching effects into these kids adulthood development.  Very few are able to escape with their sanity intact. 

 

It's never ending

😶

[Stu]

They could use you.  I've had more than a heaping helping of CPS and DHS workers who are... shall we say, "less than stellar"?  In fact, they're malfeasant state-employee hack check-cashers who want to look good on paper so the checks keep rolling in.  So they pick a target and make shit up on official reports and there's nothing you can do about it.  I cannot tell you how frustrating it can be to be to be up against that "wall."  My guess is that most of them have that mindset of wanting "to help kids," but then the job poisons their minds; it's tough, unhappy, often gut-wrenching work.  (A good friend of mine used to do it.  After the state kept adding to his responsibilities without upping his pay, he decided to ditch that job to DJ full-time.  The stories he tells....)

[TronRP]

3 hours ago, Stu said:

They could use you.  I've had more than a heaping helping of CPS and DHS workers who are... shall we say, "less than stellar"?  In fact, they're malfeasant state-employee hack check-cashers who want to look good on paper so the checks keep rolling in.  So they pick a target and make shit up on official reports and there's nothing you can do about it.  I cannot tell you how frustrating it can be to be to be up against that "wall."  My guess is that most of them have that mindset of wanting "to help kids," but then the job poisons their minds; it's tough, unhappy, often gut-wrenching work.  (A good friend of mine used to do it.  After the state kept adding to his responsibilities without upping his pay, he decided to ditch that job to DJ full-time.  The stories he tells....)

~~~~~

I got access to the Monchichis files and found out all the crap that DHS made up about a situation, that didn't happen, that got CPS involved that led to a court case with the wrong names on the files but stood up in court because the state appointed lawyer said, "No Contest".

 

Every child protection agency JUMPED on two little kids, under the age of 5, like they had found the location of El Dorado.

👨‍⚖️👩‍👧🤑💰💸🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️   

[Stu]

11 hours ago, TronRP said:

~~~~~

I got access to the Monchichis files and found out all the crap that DHS made up about a situation, that didn't happen, that got CPS involved that led to a court case with the wrong names on the files but stood up in court because the state appointed lawyer said, "No Contest".

 

Every child protection agency JUMPED on two little kids, under the age of 5, like they had found the location of El Dorado.

👨‍⚖️👩‍👧🤑💰💸🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️   

Gee, that sounds SO familiar!  And worse, I'm in debt about $20K because I wanted to avoid a public defender... but the empty suit I hired got me the SAME result.  He got an easy to win softball case and told me, "I'm afraid I couldn't win it."  True story.  So my rage at rogue CPS elements is matched by my fury at the gutless lawyers who collude with prosecutors to foist a PAYING client with a record that could potentially ruin their lives.  And that's not to mention the poor kids!

Talk about a swamp....

[WhiteLines]

Thankful that we got done workin 5 hours early tonight. Ive been workin' at like 8x time faster than average ever since we left out on this run a week or so ago. Im so beat all to hell and back i been sitting here an hour and half and still can't get back up. I usually sleep in hotel chairs, a year ago i started making a habit of not sleeping in beds except for the times when I'm at home

 

[TronRP]

Feels like I need a nap.

 

With the coming heat, I will be working in the early mornings and evenings for the next 2 days.

[TronRP]

Feels like I passed out and just woke up.

[TronRP]

Feels like training my body to 80 degrees really paid off yesterday.

It was still 90 degrees at 9pm and there's more high temperatures on the way.

[TronRP]

Feeling disappointed that after 6 hours of changing parts and performing maintenance last night, I still couldn't get my riding mower to start.

 

It appears there is an issue with exhaust which tells me I may need a new muffler.  I did get a clog out that allowed the gas to start flowing into the fuel filter, but the white smoke is a telltale sign of and exhaust issue.  Unfortunately, every time I need something, it has to be ordered...then comes the waiting game.

 

Would be nice if I had a parts dealer nearby.  Home improvement stores don't cut it.

[WhiteLines]

I feel optimistic and terrified at the same time. Wifey has serious issues in the brain, which is nothing new to me but the more of it that makes it's way into the light the more disturbing it becomes to me. There's no telling how many of her memories are of things that never happened. And being how she is there's no way to correct her and say how something really went, she will argue til hell freezes over that my memory of it is incorrect. It's mostly insignificant random memories of things but as many instances as there's been over the years it makes me really wonder just what's going on inside of her head

[WhiteLines]

Feel drained, and just got a call which i found out I'll be here an extra day. We aint goin back on the road til monday now

[TronRP]

Feeling exhausted yet accomplished.

 

Just getting settled back in from a full day of trimming up all the front yards.  My neighbor agreed to assist me with troubleshooting my riding mower.

 

Feels like I really need something to eat now...going searching...

[TronRP]

At this point, I just feel happy to be awake.

Last week overly exhausted me more than I knew.

[WhiteLines]

Lost, hungry, and in pain but by strange coincidence travelling towards upstate NY near hamburg where I've had a very positive healing experience twice and met my good friend, an older fellow who is a tattoo shop owner. Strange I'd be going to that area right now.