How Are You Feeling? (cont'd)

[et-novum]

36 minutes ago, Queen of Foxes said:

Anywaaaaaaaays

I wish you well. I read the whole thing but didn't have any particular but to quote, but I wanted to reply to you directly. I see you.

 

I don't know if there's anything I can do
or any particular support you'd really desire from me (I realize I am basically a stranger). But please let me know if I can do anything. If nothing else, I have a safe place for you crash for a few days. You just might have to share an air mattress with my cat.

 

Hang in there.

[Scary Guy]

1 hour ago, Queen of Foxes said:

he rolls his eyes and tells me I'm obsessed about it.

 

"Oh, sorry for existing wrong/not like you want." That annoys me to no end.  It's not like we can just stop being Autistic and it's a very large part of our lives.  He should either learn to deal with that or he can get bent.

 

You know your value which is great.  Though you keep telling yourself everything is okay when it's clearly not and that is damaging you.  I do believe you are getting better though, but that other part sounds like it's your mother talking and not you.

 

I don't think everyone is bad, it's just the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  On top of that everyone has their own issues that they also need to deal with and do their best not to acknowledge.  Solitude is great but no man (or woman) is an island.  It's just finding those rare people who you can actually trust that aren't complete trash which is the hard part.

(Also this isn't advice it's an observation, so make of it what you will.)

[Queen of Foxes]

I just dont want to be alone. I cannot handle it... I have my metal sister with me... But, idk.. Roger turned off his phone, my metal sister heard how he talks to me and she is even more worried now. Idk what I did wrong... I just was scared... I just want a hug damnit... And cuddled and fall asleep.. I want to feel safe enough to sleep again. 

[Queen of Foxes]

And my mom called out of no where to preach God out of the blue, I told her to leave me alone, then she got offended and blocked my phone number... WTFFFFFF. I literally said, please leave me alone, I'm stressed enough.

Edited August 5, 2023 by Queen of Foxes

[Queen of Foxes]

Dawn is keeping me sane. She is helping remind myself I'm not stupid, and I'm in the right, and it's okay to be heavily hurting right now... I've had every call on speaker, so I know I'm not the insane one here. But, I need out... I need safety... I need a hug damnit

.. A long warm one to fall asleep too. 

Edited August 5, 2023 by Queen of Foxes

[Scary Guy]

The only thing certain about the future is that it is uncertain, and life often does not go our way.

 

I'm sorry if my mental illness is inconvenient for anyone, but it's not very convenient for me either so at least we have that in common.  At least you can always ignore me where as I cannot ignore myself.

 

 

I am forever cursed with myself.  But it isn't so bad since I like me at least.

Edited August 5, 2023 by Scary Guy

[oXMiahGraceXo]

22 minutes ago, Queen of Foxes said:

Dawn is keeping me sane. She is helping remind myself I'm not stupid, and I'm in the right, and it's okay to be heavily hurting right now... I've had every call on speaker, so I know I'm not the insane one here. But, I need out... I need safety... I need a hug damnit

.. A long warm one to fall asleep too. 

OK. it sounds like I may have been right in assuming this wasn't a great situation. tom's apartment is lovely, hes a very neat person and has a sweet cat.

 

I can also ask my roommates about you coming to stay for a week to breathe if you need space. (house full on introverts and cats, and me) 

 

I'm dog sitting atm, but tomorrow I can leave the doggo for 6 hours and can come help if you need to remove stuff from a shared space ( I had to do that alone and it Sucked)  

 

I don't want to overwhelm you with things I could potentaly do that MIGHT be helpful in your situation. But they exist and I'm pretty willing.

 

I'm sorry to hear that your mom isn't respectng boundries. I had to change my number and cut my mom off around the time I left Jax. It was horrible. I wish I had some kind of advice or a way to make that hurt less but there really isn't any? 

it does get better, I don't think there was a way someone could have said that to me that I would have belived when I was here. But it got better. 

[Msterbeau]

31 minutes ago, Queen of Foxes said:

Dawn is keeping me sane. She is helping remind myself I'm not stupid, and I'm in the right, and it's okay to be heavily hurting right now... I've had every call on speaker, so I know I'm not the insane one here. But, I need out... I need safety... I need a hug damnit

.. A long warm one to fall asleep too. 

 

I’m sorry you’re going through all this.  I’m not sure I can offer any of the kinds of help you need but if you think I can, please ask. 

[kat (1)]

Hugs to anyone right now who needs it. 

[TronRP]

Was feeling like this:

 

The Website is Down Episode #4: Sales Demolition (NSFW)

~~~~~

@Scary Guy

Thanks for the share!

[Queen of Foxes]

Destroyed.

Alone....

[NocteSpiritus]

Exhausted. Spent a portion of the day trying to find the sister's phone that she lost at an event in Westland we volunteered at. We didn't know she didn't have it until we got home last night. I was hoping for a chill/relaxing day.

[Msterbeau]

57 minutes ago, Queen of Foxes said:

Destroyed.

Alone....

🤗🤗🤗

[Scary Guy]

1 hour ago, TronRP said:

Was feeling like this:

 

The Website is Down Episode #4: Sales Demolition (NSFW)

~~~~~

@Scary Guy

Thanks for the share!

 

 

44 minutes ago, Queen of Foxes said:

Destroyed.

Alone....

 

From what it sounds like you've gotten past a lot.  This ain't shit compared to that, though I understand that change is uncomfortable.  Think of it like peeling off a scab where sure you might have a nifty scar, but I'm sure it'll heal up just fine.

 

 

[Scary Guy]

4 hours ago, Queen of Foxes said:

And my mom called out of no where to preach God out of the blue, I told her to leave me alone, then she got offended and blocked my phone number... WTFFFFFF. I literally said, please leave me alone, I'm stressed enough.

 

[Queen of Foxes]

I feel numbed.. Hallow... Empty...i think there is no coming back from this... It's, done something to me... 

[know_buddy_kares]

23 minutes ago, Queen of Foxes said:

I feel numbed.. Hallow... Empty...i think there is no coming back from this... It's, done something to me... 

It's this moment, right here, right now, that a critical choice must be made to keep the ones who supported you in your circle and lock the door on everyone who made it difficult. Don't rush into anything else.

 

But I feel this mood. I've been here a number of times. Be selective of who you let in. It won't help immediately other than not letting it get even worse.

[TronRP]

Feeling a bit unnerved.  I couldn't remember how to wake up for the past few hours.

[TronRP]

~~~~~

I felt my heart hurt.

[Scary Guy]

26 minutes ago, TronRP said:

~~~~~

I felt my heart hurt.

 

You mean emotionally or physically?  If the latter get some aspirin for sure.  Many people depend on you and I'm not sure what they (or us here on DGN for that matter) would do without you.

If you just feel down and need a hug maybe that can be arranged too.  Possibly at the upcoming birthday thing that I've yet to announce.

[TronRP]

30 minutes ago, Scary Guy said:

 

You mean emotionally or physically?  If the latter get some aspirin for sure.  Many people depend on you and I'm not sure what they (or us here on DGN for that matter) would do without you.

If you just feel down and need a hug maybe that can be arranged too.  Possibly at the upcoming birthday thing that I've yet to announce.

~~~~~

I read @gwen's post and my heart hurt through her expression of the blatant disregard for nature.  It caught me off guard is all. 

[kat (1)]

My body is all achy.

[Scary Guy]

1 hour ago, TronRP said:

~~~~~

I read @gwen's post and my heart hurt through her expression of the blatant disregard for nature.  It caught me off guard is all. 

 

Ah, yeah.  Everything is attrition anyway, there is no need to speed it up.

[TronRP]

I'm really starting to feel disgruntled that it feels like I'm forgetting something.  These type of things don't usually last this long with me.  I just have no idea what the priority level of it is.

 

I suppose it's no matter.  Whatever the consequences, I will cross that bridge when it presents itself.  

[Queen of Foxes]

I have to go back to pretending... It's the only way I'm making it through these next few years.