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Why can't I be one of the guys.

wheresmypiggy

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wheresmypiggy Newbie

wheresmypiggy

Posted
Posted

This is my rant for one quick moment.

Some of you know my situation.

A particular person and I recently had a very nice encounter.

Now it has turned to shit.

I wanted a friend who I could confide in, feel comfortable with, hang out with, drink with, and take advantge of from time to time. I explained to this person that I did not want a relationship, only friendship. And that after any sexual encounters our friendship stayed the same.

Of course he agrees to this only to turn into a complete weirdo afterwards. Talking shit about me to my friends?! What is wrong with this boy. I'm not one of those girls who will call you 24-7 or hang on your nuts! I just wanted to be a friend.

Now of course the situation has been turned around on me like I am some raving lunatic. Those of you that know me definately know otherwise. I don't do relationships. My bf died. My ex fiance is my best friend, I'm quite happy with my situation as it is now.

Stop acting like you were gods gift to anything, you were a good fuck. Enough said. We could have been awesome friends. It would have been fun.

Game over. 0 guys left. No continues.

Why can't it just be about having fun?

Why does it have to turn all serious?

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

The world may never know.

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Fierce Critter Newbie

Fierce Critter

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Does "Friends with benefits" ever really work out?

Seems to me one half or the other always ends up too involved.

I may be a bit of a relationship fuddy-duddy, but I'd like to think that would be a good solution to things sometimes. But it always seems to get too complicated.

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TomCat Newbie

TomCat

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Pisser. There are pros & cons to the entire "friends with benefits" package. Maturity, however, must be a strong characteristic in someone you choose this route with. Sadly, many guys don't mature until there late 20s or even into their early 30s.

btw, I'm 35... :wink

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Rozzlyn Newbie

Rozzlyn

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Does "Friends with benefits" ever really work out?

Seems to me one half or the other always ends up too involved.

I may be a bit of a relationship fuddy-duddy, but I'd like to think that would be a good solution to things sometimes. But it always seems to get too complicated.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Occasionally, yes, but both parties have to REALLLY know themselves first and then REALLY know what they want.

Too many people in this world don't seem to know themselves very well and, as a result, mistake "a good idea" for what they "really want."

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Head Wreck Newbie

Head Wreck

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maturity is needed yes, but it also depends on the person

i wouldnt bget into these as i damn well know i'll get involved "more than just friends".

women mature faster than men in the head, in his 20's your still dealing with someone with the equivelent of 17-18 except for the rare cases.

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Msterbeau Collaborator

Msterbeau

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Pisser.  There are pros & cons to the entire "friends with benefits" package.  Maturity, however, must be a strong characteristic in someone you choose this route with.  Sadly, many guys don't mature until there late 20s or even into their early 30s. 

btw, I'm 35... :wink

A reluctance to get back in the saddle again doesn't hurt either... :whistling

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Dollardave Newbie

Dollardave

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Does "Friends with benefits" ever really work out?

Seems to me one half or the other always ends up too involved.

I may be a bit of a relationship fuddy-duddy, but I'd like to think that would be a good solution to things sometimes. But it always seems to get too complicated.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I fuck my sister in law just friends with benefits. I been doing it quite a while works out for me.

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Homicidalheathen Newbie

Homicidalheathen

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Yah I remember when I was your age I had this problem. Now I have the problem of someone just wanting to have sex with me more than once. Thats all I want. LOL

This is my rant for one quick moment.

Some of you know my situation.

A particular person and I recently had a very nice encounter.

Now it has turned to shit.

I wanted a friend who I could confide in, feel comfortable with, hang out with, drink with, and take advantge of from time to time. I explained to this person that I did not want a relationship, only friendship. And that after any sexual encounters our friendship stayed the same.

Of course he agrees to this only to turn into a complete weirdo afterwards. Talking shit about me to my friends?! What is wrong with this boy. I'm not one of those girls who will call you 24-7 or hang on your nuts! I just wanted to be a friend.

Now of course the situation has been turned around on me like I am some raving lunatic. Those of you that know  me definately know otherwise. I don't do relationships. My bf died. My ex fiance is my best friend, I'm quite happy with my situation as it is now.

Stop acting like you were gods gift to anything, you were a good fuck. Enough said. We could have been awesome friends. It would have been fun.

Game over. 0 guys left. No continues.

Why can't it just be about having fun?

Why does it have to turn all serious?

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

The world may never know.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>
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Jarodaka Newbie

Jarodaka

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Most people are stupid about this sort of thing. They think they can sort out the different expectations in a 'friends with benefits' relationship, but they can't. (Or, worse, they think you'll change.)

You were upfront about what you wanted and, when things didn't work the way you had explained, you ended it. Really, that's all you can do until you come across those few, rare people who can actually be comfortable with that sort of situation.

When you want this...

...a friend who I could confide in, feel comfortable with, hang out with, drink with, and take advantge of from time to time.

... most people think of that as a relationship. Since he's interested he'll say, "yeah, sounds great, I can do that!" Unfortunately, he doesn't realize that he's actually not ok with it and when he figures that out who knows what will happen. Sounds like this one turned into a vindictive prick.

SUMMARY:

Three kinds of people:

1) Mature enough to be a friend with benefits.

2) Mature enough to know you can't do that.

3) Have no fucking clue if you're number 1 or 2 and act like a prick when your expectations for a relationship don't match the other person's.

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torn asunder Enthusiast

torn asunder

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Telling a guy that you don't want a relationship, but sex is ok, sets off a bell in their head. That's telling them "free sex here!!!". That never works out.

it does if that's all the guy is looking for as well... but there aren't many of us like that, as has been mentioned...

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DarkVampire Newbie

DarkVampire

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With age comes wisdom.

Back in the day I was a child. If a woman didn't want more than being friends than I would have nothing further to do with her.

Than I met someone at work. I became friends with her, with the intent on wanting more. She is my ideal of physical perfection in a woman. Pefect curves, blond hair blue eyes. Any how we talked and she brought up the old response of "just being friends". A turning point occured. I could be a dumb ass say no that's not good enough and lose her, her friendship or I could keep the status qou as is and have a valuable friend. Well I chose being her friend and friend only. She is much too valuable to me to ever lose. She is one of three woman that I ever said the love word to. (I never say the word love unless I mean it) That's how special she is to me as a friend.

So no not all guys out there are jerk offs who only think about their hormones instead of just "being friends".

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bean Newbie

bean

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Telling a guy that you don't want a relationship, but sex is ok, sets off a bell in their head. That's telling them "free sex here!!!". That never works out.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Uh, yes it does...relationships suck, free sex is great!!

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Goth Brooks Newbie

Goth Brooks

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I wanted a friend who I could confide in, feel comfortable with, hang out with, drink with, and take advantge of from time to time.

What's the difference between a best friend of the opposite sex, and a relationship?

sex

seems to me you were asking for a relationship without asking for a relationship.

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Rozzlyn Newbie

Rozzlyn

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With age comes wisdom.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No.

From expierence and intelligence come wisdom.

Some people, at the age of twenty-five, have done more "living" than most people at forty. And there are some REALLY naive and ignorant over-thirty-somethings out there who wouldn't know to pick up an ounce of wisdom if it was in a dish at the supermarket marked "Free Samples! Take One!"

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Rozzlyn Newbie

Rozzlyn

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You can be one of the guys for about $10,000 and a donated penis.  Jons hopkins does sex change surgeries.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Umm... Donated?

Where the hell did you hear that from?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phalloplasty

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metoidioplasty

Somebody who probably has no idea what they're talking about. There were experimental genital transplant surgeries happening in Thailand and Hong Kong a few years ago, but these are not yet in commonplace usage.

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