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New found sobriety


Destroit

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I'm not completely sober but I have a relationship with it I don't want to have anymore. I've done sobriety before, most notably for about 6 months last year when I knew I was going to be in a rough patch. That lasted until I had a ~really~ rough patch and had essentially given up on that phase of my life. But that was a pretty depressive space I was in.

 

Now that I'm not feeling acutely depressed, my relationship is healthier, but still not great. I'm really impulsive, even if it's not apparent to the people around me. So, a typical scenario would be:

If I have alcohol in the house, I'll say "yeah it's 8pm time for a drink, that sounds relaxing (and I'm bored)!"
If I have one drink, I'll probably have another because I'm probably feeling it and my inhibitions are lower.
From there... well I'm sure you can work out the pattern.

Funnily enough if it's not in the house, I don't think about it much. If I see it on store shelves, sometimes it'll come home from me (an impulse) but I've gotten a lot better about not buying it. And when I'm drinking with people, I can control my impulse a lot better.

But yeah, that's my story. Going to try solo sobriety again for a while, but I think I will drink lightly in a social setting again when I feel ready for it.

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I've technically been sober 99% of my life probably.  I can remember and count the few times I have drank on one hand.

First time was at Mephisto's with two shots of Jager for Andrew's birthday (and I hate black licorice.)  Second time was a week later with a shot of Hennessy at Whisky in the Jar with the Mephisto's crew after hours.  At Luna one time I grabbed the wrong drink, which counts but doesn't.  One time I scratched my eye and had searing pain and wanted something to take the edge off (I fell asleep on the couch.) Then there was another time I had bad breath so I just wanted something minty to make it less obnoxious.  Then there was that time I took a literal sip of my girlfriend at the time's Sake' (actually could have been her friend I don't remember) because she wanted me to try a little.  We then got pulled over in my first Hearse by a bored nosy cop down in Wyandotte who asked if I'd been drinking.  I said what I just said and offered to let him breathalyze me if he wanted.  "Why were you weaving." "It dogwalks." Then after some more chitchat he let me go.  Surprisingly I don't remember ever actually being "drunk" off the first few times and I've always kind of wondered what my tolerance is.

My reasons for not drinking are plenty.  Because of my Autism I've never enjoyed the taste as to me most liquor tastes like cough syrup, and most beers taste like what I imagine piss to taste like.  I'm also generally always driving / armed (the limit is .02 if you carry a firearm, it's .04 for pilots.) My mother was a drunk, my pappy (grandfather on my mother's side) was a violent drunk (and a gigantic asshole), and just seeing what it does with other people was never really for me.

My latest reasons for not drinking are Alyse (because she used to get absolutely wasted and that was annoying to deal with, but I enjoyed being with her more than I hated dealing with that and "I can fix her!"), and Leo who's been in jail for a while for crashing and killing her.  Which I think she bled out internally even faster because she was blackout drunk so her blood was thinned too.  At least I hope she was so that she wasn't in any pain :(

As long as I'm here I might as well leave some resources:
https://www.smartrecovery.org

https://thesatanictemple.com/pages/sober-faction

https://www.sossobriety.org/

https://aaagnostica.org/secular-organization-for-sobriety-sos/

https://secularrecoverygroup.org/

There's also that classic AA cult, but literally use whatever works for you and even that is better than nothing.

 

I always liked Doug Stanhope's take on AA, but I'll let y'all look that up if you want.

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3 hours ago, Scary Guy said:

I've technically been sober 99% of my life probably.  I can remember and count the few times I have drank on one hand.

First time was at Mephisto's with two shots of Jager for Andrew's birthday (and I hate black licorice.)  Second time was a week later with a shot of Hennessy at Whisky in the Jar with the Mephisto's crew after hours.  At Luna one time I grabbed the wrong drink, which counts but doesn't.  One time I scratched my eye and had searing pain and wanted something to take the edge off (I fell asleep on the couch.) Then there was another time I had bad breath so I just wanted something minty to make it less obnoxious.  Then there was that time I took a literal sip of my girlfriend at the time's Sake' (actually could have been her friend I don't remember) because she wanted me to try a little.  We then got pulled over in my first Hearse by a bored nosy cop down in Wyandotte who asked if I'd been drinking.  I said what I just said and offered to let him breathalyze me if he wanted.  "Why were you weaving." "It dogwalks." Then after some more chitchat he let me go.  Surprisingly I don't remember ever actually being "drunk" off the first few times and I've always kind of wondered what my tolerance is.

My reasons for not drinking are plenty.  Because of my Autism I've never enjoyed the taste as to me most liquor tastes like cough syrup, and most beers taste like what I imagine piss to taste like.  I'm also generally always driving / armed (the limit is .02 if you carry a firearm, it's .04 for pilots.) My mother was a drunk, my pappy (grandfather on my mother's side) was a violent drunk (and a gigantic asshole), and just seeing what it does with other people was never really for me.

My latest reasons for not drinking are Alyse (because she used to get absolutely wasted and that was annoying to deal with, but I enjoyed being with her more than I hated dealing with that and "I can fix her!"), and Leo who's been in jail for a while for crashing and killing her.  Which I think she bled out internally even faster because she was blackout drunk so her blood was thinned too.  At least I hope she was so that she wasn't in any pain 😞

As long as I'm here I might as well leave some resources:
https://www.smartrecovery.org

https://thesatanictemple.com/pages/sober-faction

https://www.sossobriety.org/

https://aaagnostica.org/secular-organization-for-sobriety-sos/

https://secularrecoverygroup.org/

There's also that classic AA cult, but literally use whatever works for you and even that is better than nothing.

 

I always liked Doug Stanhope's take on AA, but I'll let y'all look that up if you want.

I think about that horrible situation often, especially because I was almost in his shoes on more than one occasion.  Glad to know I'll never be out of control again it feels like a huge weight, you've seen me sloppy ass drunk on more than one occasion I'm sure you can see why I'm happy to not deal with that life anymore.

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I’ve not had an alcoholic drink since NYE. To be honest, I don’t miss it.  It made me feel gross and now that I’m on medication, I most certainly cannot have it or I could become hypoglycemic. I also think alcohol was really messing with my body anyway. I didn’t drink often, more social but I still felt crappy each time. 

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9 hours ago, KatRN05 said:

I’ve not had an alcoholic drink since NYE. To be honest, I don’t miss it.  It made me feel gross and now that I’m on medication, I most certainly cannot have it or I could become hypoglycemic. I also think alcohol was really messing with my body anyway. I didn’t drink often, more social but I still felt crappy each time. 


Wait, hypoglycemic or hyperglycemic?  I was under the impression that was what gave people the hiccups since that's a symptom of hyperglycemia.  I get that if I drink a soda made with real sugarcane (generally sold in the glass bottles which may/may not be imported from Canada/Mexico.)

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19 minutes ago, Scary Guy said:


Wait, hypoglycemic or hyperglycemic?  I was under the impression that was what gave people the hiccups since that's a symptom of hyperglycemia.  I get that if I drink a soda made with real sugarcane (generally sold in the glass bottles which may/may not be imported from Canada/Mexico.)

With the medication I take, it can make me hypoglycemic.  

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3 hours ago, gwen said:

sober now 8 1/2. no durgs no alcohol except pot for my guts. it was actually someone on here got me off mdma yrs ago. 

sober satanist  tst online fb meetings. i dont do jesus in my sobriety. i do me. i HATE aa. do NOT make me pray and hug homeless ppl. since getting sober

inflamation down

blood sugar better

tinitus gone

lost 40 lbs

depression gone

zits gone

depression gone.

 

i go on sober satanist on fb. it helps. its all about hail you for another day sober not putting the power outside of yourself that always fails eventually.


Good for you and glad to hear it.  As I said in the other thread I hope for the best for you and yours.

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I stopped drinking on a regular basis a few years ago. I rarely have a drink these days. I stopped because I was sick and tired of feeling like shit the next day physically and mentally,  and feeling guilt and shame for whatever dumb shit I did while I was black out drunk. I've been on a blood thinner for a blood clotting disorder for a little over a year, and because of that I can't have more than a drink a day. I mean, I guess I could, but it would be dumb as hell. I can count on one hand how many drinks I've had over the past couple of years. 

 

I do use cannabis once in a great while, but in a very small amount to take the edge off my anxiety. 

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2 hours ago, gwen said:

so there is this

https://www.sossobriety.org/

 

if it helps anyone.

 

that god stuff just doesnt work for me

if it works for you great

AA 

 

 


I posted that link with a bunch of others earlier in the thread:

 

https://www.smartrecovery.org

https://thesatanictemple.com/pages/sober-faction

https://www.sossobriety.org/

https://aaagnostica.org/secular-organization-for-sobriety-sos/

https://secularrecoverygroup.org/

 

2 hours ago, gwen said:

rewind 12 yrs to pals accident.

she broke her neck falling down the stairs drunk. lucky to be alive after laying on the floor alone for 8 hrs.

so as you age maybe ease up or quit.

your balance is now off n shit.

 

I feel like that's around the same time that my mother had her fall down the stairs.  She was in chronic pain after that even moreso than before.  Near the end she said nothing beat the pain of cancer though.

 

The real problem is pain management is a joke in this system.  Everyone sees you as an addict because there are so many seeking it that they all look the same after a while.  It's almost not worth it, except for when the pain is so great you need to deal with it because it has gotten that bad that it's either that or you end things.

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5 hours ago, gwen said:

yup.in dayton all they wanted to do was give me morphine.

i yelled I AM NOT A FAKING ADDICT!!! I NEED HELP! i am in pain. i want to fix the problem

not mask it!

so by sepsis bout number 8?

they actually accused me of coming in

just for morphine!

i had a blood test guess what i had sepsis.

morphine makes me puke. i dont get high and i pass out. it constipates.

how is that supposed to help me.

and yet

with a country full of opiod addicts

and a government crooked and in on the for profit rehab centers

and them letting fentanyl in across the border while they claim a war on drugs?

i have turned to herbal remedies for the most part.

and its really helping me.

I wonder where Melinda went on here

because shes really great at this stuff

 

I had a friend who i took to different hospitals on many occasions.  She had legitimate issues but then eventually became and addict.  Unfortunately when they see tattoos or piercings or anything counter culture and they think it's just another addict.  So they either turn you away or admit you for a little while to see what's going on before kicking you out.  Pain management in this country is a joke, along with medical care in general.  Unless it's something major or easily treatable they don't want to deal as there are too many other patients in the waiting room and they need beds.

 

Anyway I guess the trick is to ask for non opioid pain killers when offered.

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1 hour ago, gwen said:

i  just  had my ex babby daddys sister do my hair

 

her son just died of fentanyl

 

she still uses cocaine. drinks. heavly.

 

this is why...

 

i raised our kids sober and stayed sober till they were 15-17 ish and stayed away from you guys

my family had enough sobriety issues

 

i dont go for that 2nd generation

bullcrap

 

my kids do 100% better than any of us and never got hooked on anything

 

it really was all i hoped for for them amd i did it

 

dont get hooked

have a bunch of kids too early you cant support on your own

never rely on a man for a living.

 

and they did it! 35 now

 

one with a degree both in love both doing well.

 

Good for them and for you.

Still sorry to hear about your friend's kid though, and her.  I've heard that outliving your offspring is really horrible.

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