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Sobriety sucks


Destroit

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Addiction is a constant, uphill battle.  Some days you feel like a rock star, some days the urge is so damn strong, that's all you think about.  For me, it was the first two weeks getting away from the demons that haunted me.  The cold sweats, the anxiety, the inability to focus, the irritability, it was total torture.  While it's not easy, it will get easier, but allow yourself some grace.  Fighting this isn't a straight, linear, upward sloping line.  You are going to trip and fall, that's just part of it...just as long as you don't stay down.

 

You will get through this.  You got this!

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A couple months ago, my doctor said no more alcohol until they can figure out wtf is wrong with my liver. And even then I may never drink again. I do miss my occasional bourbon but tbh, I'm fine. I just quit cold turkey. At least there's still cannabis. 

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38 minutes ago, Doktordiscord said:

I am definitely sober and having a spot of troubling feeling "like my self" or particularly creative. Definitely did not realize quite how much anxiety I was drinking through. 

YES I do not miss hangxiety, or hangovers in general, the last time I drank I threw up 20+ the following day and BLOODY chunks came out. I'm good on all that. Every time I'm tempted I'm going to have that mental image of my stomach lining floating around in bile in my toilet to remind me why I stopped. 

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  • 1 month later...
On 7/28/2023 at 11:14 AM, Destroit said:

I know I'm doing the right thing but this is fucking awful, I'm sad and anxious all the time, I don't feel content hardly ever. Anyone else on the same journey?

i actually quit this month, though it's likely only temporary. I also quit for a year 2 septembers ago. of course, i've been sad/anxious since i was 8-10 yrs old (diagnosed clinical depression by a psychiatrist), so i didn't notice it that much. what i did notice was that i no longer felt comfortable around other drunks, so i rarely go out.

honestly, i'm just waiting for synthehol now!

https://www.livescience.com/4060-hangover-free-buzz-star-trek-synthehol.html

 

https://gizmodo.com/real-life-synthehol-will-get-you-buzzed-but-never-drun-5434752

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Sober since birth, where's my 43 year chip damnit?

 

Just out here raw-dogging life.

 

I have lots of reasons to crawl in a bottle, but know I'd probably turn out like my mother or worse, my grandfather on her side.

 

I have even more reasons not to.  I'm too cheap, I got friends who have died/gone to jail over it, I like to carry A LOT and the limit for that is .02 (also it's .04 for pilots,) I've never really enjoyed the taste of it, and I like to remain in control of myself.  Also I'm way too depressed so I'd probably just end up driving off a cliff or on the end of a rope or something.

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I'm currently sober except for the occasional social beer, but I think I should stop even that. I miss it a little but I feel so much better now that I've stopped, and it's only been two months.

 

I had problems with it because I was using it to self medicate some things and I have poor impulse control. But the impulse control gets worse when I drink so it's just a bad cycle 😅 One drink always seemed to end up as three or more, and I didn't like that.

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3 hours ago, et-novum said:

 

Hey you don't control my concenration. Unless you want to read the books out loud for me. I'm sure you have an excellent reading voice.

 

Audible books?

 

And it's good that, other than social drinks, that you're not drinking. Last time I drank was on a family vacation. I'm sure that stems more from some deeply embedded stress or something tied to dealing with the mother, but that's a whole other case.

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