AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!

[Fierce Critter]

It is rare that I will rant about my husband publicly. And once I've gotten some sleep and come down from the BS I'm handling right now, I'll probably come back here and delete this post.

But right now, I'M SO FUCKING UPSET!!!!!!!!!!

I posted in the health forum just a touch of the problem I'm having sleeping these days. There are several factors involved, but one of them is that my husband's snoring has gotten so bad, sometimes even earplugs don't block it out. He's refused to try any over-the-counter methods, with the excuse that, "if it works, I'll have to use it all the time."

BOO FUCKING HOO. I no longer can be gently soothed to sleep by the sound of crickets & frogs, or the purring of a kitten lying next to me, or a gentle rain hitting the tin roof above. I can't listen to a nature sounds CD on nights when I need a little more. I can't watch a monotonous TV documentary on low volume levels to murmur me to sleep.

BECAUSE I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING BUT SNORING OR HAVE TO PUT EARPLUGS IN SO I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

So, he intends to see a doctor about it once we're re-established in Michigan. Until then I have to fucking deal with this.

It's the bad sleep I get when he's lying next to me that has me going back to bed after he leaves for work in the morning so I can actually get some REAL sleep. A few hours of blessed, silent sleep.

But a few hours that has me not getting up until 11:30-12:00 in the after-morning, and feeling like I've wasted half a fucking day.

It's the bad sleep that had me craving & emptying the bottle of percocets left over from his foot operation - 'cause it made sleep SO EASY. And it was that EASY sleep that made me tell him just to throw away the refill prescription.

But it's the bad sleep that now has me jonesing for over-the-counter sleep meds that help just that little bit, at least until they start having the reverse effect.

AND THEN... NOW comes what I'm REALLY near tears about...

So, husband gets up to go to work this morning. I'd woken up an hour before his alarm went off and went into the bathroom and took a half-dose of Tylenol PM. I went back to bed, put my earplugs in, and settled down for what was actually very, very nice sleep. I was having a really nice dream about the two of us, when suddenly, I was awakened.

First, he was just smiling at me and telling me to have a good day. And I'm thinking, you woke me up for that? But I love him, and if he needed to say that to me, all fine and good - I can actually smile at that.

But he's not done with me. So I take out my earplugs, and he proceeds to tell me about the motherfucking asshole eBay customer who just left me negative feedback because I couldn't ship something out to him over the 4th of July weekend, and the fucking reprimand I got from e-fucking-Bay due to my not selling to this motherfucker when he REFUSED insurance and stated clearly that he'd just cancel his payment to me if the item got "lost" in the mail, going against MULTIPLE STATED POLICIES on SHIPPING DATES & INSURANCE, etc. blah blah blah.

So he wakes me up from deep sleep and a GOOD DREAM to tell me all this, tell me to leave negative feedback for the motherfucker (DUH) then give me a kiss on the cheek and tell me "have a nice day".

So I try to go back to sleep. I try. But at this point, I'm so upset at how goddamned inconsiderate and insensitive my HUSBAND is being, I have to get up and take it out on eBay and this lying motherfucking asshole of a customer.

And my husband sees this. And says he's sorry he was selfish and wanted to vent and so woke me up and got ME upset. And I tell him, near tears, about how much sleep has sucked for me lately, and how good the sleep I was just having was, and how good the dream I was having about the two of us was, and how FRUSTRATED this makes me, all the time NOT WANTING to be upset with HIM, even if, once in a while, he does something that makes me LEGITIMATELY upset.

I love him. I do. And I know he doesn't mean to be mean to me. But sometimes, SOMETIMES, I just get so FRUSTRATED at shit like this, I can almost cry.

Almost.

Now, to go slam my LAST 2 Tylenol PM's, put in earplugs and TRY to sleep until he calls at 12:30.

Today, JUST for today, if I miss that call, I will be o.k. with that. I will NOT be sad to see 1:00 come and my having missed his call. Just this once. Just this one day, if I get good sleep instead, that will be O.k.

I just need sleep. That's all I need.

[Aralis]

I can not sleep with my husband. Occasionally I do but he snores so damn loud that I get no sleep. I am a light sleeper to begin with. Once in awhile I will get lucky and he wont snore much or not that loud. But due to his snoring we sleep in separate rooms. We usually are sleeping at different times anyway since he works third shift and even when he is off he sticks to his sleeping schedule but it sucks that when we do happen to be sleeping at the same time we can not share a bed together.

I miss not having somone next to me.

He has tried several things and nothing helps the snoring.

[Homicidalheathen]

I always wondered why my parents stopped sleeping together. I thought they just hated each other.

My mom says it was the snoring.

I am going to try the ear plugs as they worked for me in the hospital.

Is there any long term side effects of wearing them I wonder?

So your thinking of surgery....?

[Lilith]

I know how ya feel not about snoring but about sleep, the lack of sleep and hubby's doing dumb stuff to well interupt the very few moment of good sleep you might get. It one of those things that.......

JUST FUCKING FIGURES!

NOthe dont mean to do it and there ie no way of telling when another should or shouldnt be awaken but really sometimes.................

DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO WAKE ME UP FOR THAT?????

ANd it pisses in your wheaties and then they dont know why you are all mad and it one huge dumb cycle.

Seriously if a person is sleepingand there is not an emergancy or they have not told you to wake them atthat time THEN LET THEM FREAKIN SLEEP.

Something similar happend this morning to me too.....

Get some rest you will feel better if you do.

lilith

[Fierce Critter]

I went back to sleep about 9:30 and slept until 12:30 exactly. Had intended - HOPED - to sleep longer, but I guess I'm just programmed to be up for that call.

And it came, and I missed it, and I called him back.

He feels bad, and he understands how selfish what he did really was.

I can't imagine not sleeping with him. I don't know if I could - missing him being there would probably keep me up just as bad as the snoring.

As for surgery, not thinking of surgery so much as getting to a good ear/nose/throat doctor, who I believe is the person who knows about this stuff, to look at him and figure out what his issue is. I've done a tiny, tiny bit of research about it and often it's caused by things like the soft palatte being too soft and therefore prone to vibration, etc.

There are different conditions, and different treatments, everything from sprays that temporarily "harden" the soft palatte area to actual surgeries.

Surgery would be a very, very last resort. But I would hope there would be SOMETHING we could do for it.

[torn asunder]

i know that when i was heavier, i snored quite a bit, is he a heavier guy? weight loss is a great solution, and great for overall health, too. also, if he has sleep apnea, (once you have insurance) they make a machine people wear at night specifically for it. a friend of mine uses one, and said not only has it helped with the snoring, but he sleeps much better, longer, and deeper... when you can, check into it...

[JaneDead]

i know that when i was heavier, i snored quite a bit, is he a heavier guy? weight loss is a great solution, and great for overall health, too. also, if he has sleep apnea, (once you have insurance) they make a machine people wear at night specifically for it. a friend of mine uses one, and said not only has it helped with the snoring, but he sleeps much better, longer, and deeper... when you can, check into it...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

no, he is actually a pretty thin guy from what i have seen/heard critter say

same with my snore-freak husband. snores like mad crazy but he is thin as a rail. i believe my husband has sleep apnea and hope he does something about it sooner than later. i can relate to your sleep issues critter. :confused it sucks to say the least!

[Fierce Critter]

i know that when i was heavier, i snored quite a bit, is he a heavier guy? weight loss is a great solution, and great for overall health, too. also, if he has sleep apnea, (once you have insurance) they make a machine people wear at night specifically for it. a friend of mine uses one, and said not only has it helped with the snoring, but he sleeps much better, longer, and deeper... when you can, check into it...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Dyno is partially right. Jon has gained some weight in the past 2 years since he destroyed his foot. But he's far from fat.

I don't believe he has apnea. I've watched him very carefully on nights when I'm up into the wee hours while he sleeps beside me. I've never caught him NOT breathing. Just that horrible mouth breathing.

It's like, if I could put a strap around his head from chin to crown to keep his jaw shut, he'd probably breathe fine through his nose and voila - no more snoring.

He has lots of odd sleep habits, the most odd among them sleep talking. His eyes open very wide, and a few different things happen. Sometimes he makes moves to "molest" me, and I just make him lie back down, tell him 'go to sleep Jon' and he immediately lies back down, closes his eyes and starts snoring immediately. Sometimes those eyes open wide, and I can tell he's not "awake" 'cause their deep bloodshot. He'll say things to me, often dirty, and then fall back "asleep". he never remembers any of it.

I'm not sure any of that is related. It's more amusing than annoying, as he's never woken me up for any of it, I've only caught him doing it when I'm still awake next to him.

He smoked from around age 11 through 19, quit the year we got married, so that's going on 7 years now. That shouldn't be a factor anymore.

No, I think it's just something in the make-up of his palatte, as well as his breathing style.

[Fierce Critter]

Oh - also, we have insurance. Just cruddy coverage that costs us a big deductible for things like surgeries. And he'd rather not deal with doctors down here, or have to deal with at least a 30-mile drive one way to see better doctors or go to better hospitals.

And I pretty much agree with him. I'd rather we waited until we're in Michigan, insured, and within a stones-throw of many doctors and decent hospitals if it comes to that.