Addictions

[wheresmypiggy]

I'm not the pretty pretty princess some people think I am.

I'm not gonna get all deep into what my past addictions were or how long I had them quite yet.

I just want to know when does an addiction, a real true addiction finally pass? Even after you have been clean you are still considered addicted for some time.

When does the feeling end?

Does it get better?

Whats the likely hood of slipping in again?

[Homicidalheathen]

I don't know if this will make you feel better or worse. I was a meth addict for a few years 17 years ago.

Yesturday all I wanted was a line.

I am tired, don't meditate good most of the time these days....have allot of shit to get done and feel fat.

Meth fixes all of that.

17 years and not a day goes by where I don't have to stop myself from just going out and getting some.

If I didn't have kids I would be in a gutter someplace I swear.

Ya hearing me CRANK????

I just keep reminding myself that it only feels good for awhile...and that spiritually it is weak to use crutches to get by.

But damn I WANT SOME.

After 17 fricken years.

[kellygrrrrrl]

Truth is, the addiction will always be there.

You will always have said "Cravings" from time to time.

The cravings will be more frequent in the early stages of getting clean becuase the supply of the drug is slipping out of your body, and your "Dopamine" levels are dropping causing you to go into Withdrawls.....Depression, sweats, shakes, etc....Your mind is the tricky part becuase it will make excuses like, Oh, youv'e been clean for 30 days, maybe One Hit won't hurt, but then once it gets back into your blood, your dopamines go crazy, and your body thrives on it, and can even make the withdrawl symptoms worse....MORE MORE

After being clean and dealing with withdrawl, you can start to control how you deal with it.

For me, I would scream into my pillow, beat the shit out of my bed, rather than hit and hurt myself, (I then bought a punching bag), obsessed with aerobic tapes, whatever your fancy. DO SOMETHING to keep your mind off of it. And most important, find people that you can relate to, and talk to about it. Hearing that it is possible to get through it from others can dramatically help.

[Homicidalheathen]

And most important, find people that you can relate to, and talk to about it. Hearing that it is possible to get through it from others can dramatically help.

Thats why I love the ACOA meetings at Church of Today in Warren.

Adult children of Alcholics, and well most of us were abused pretty bad but....these AA groups really work I know it's corney but they have them for druggies too. I just prefer this one because I am pretty much over my addictive tendancies but have the cognetive thinking disorder and talking with these people who have been working the program for years really helps you stay on track. They have been exactly where your at and ended up ok but still struggle.

[Homicidalheathen]

Here ya go. NARANON

MICHIGAN, Alpena

First Congregational Church

201 S. 2nd Ave.

Monday, 6:30 PM

MICHIGAN, CANTON

Oakdale Recovery Center

43825 Michigan Ave.

"NEW LIFE LIVE"

Tuesday, 7:00 PM

MICHIGAN, Chesterfield Township

Christ The King Lutheran Church

29920 23 Mile Road

"JUST FOR TODAY"

Thursday, 7:00 PM (Meeting Starts 3/17/05)

MICHIGAN, DETROIT

St. John Hospital

22101 Moross Rd.

"OH WELL"

Sunday, 6:30 PM

MICHIGAN, FARMINGTON HILLS

Botsford Hospital, 2 West Conference Room A

28080 Grand River

"COURAGE TO CHANGE"

Wednesday, 6:45 PM

MICHIGAN, FERNDALE

Drayton Ave. Presbyterian Church

2441 Pinecrest

"HOPE & SERENITY"

Wednesday, 7:30 PM

MICHIGAN, Flint

Union Hall

812 Leith Street

Thursdaym11:30 AM

MICHIGAN, FLUSHING

Trinity Episcopal Church

745 E. Main St., Building Behind the Church

"UNITED WE STAND"

Wednesday, 7:00 PM

MICHIGAN, GARDEN CITY

Garden City Hospital, Rm. 3&4

6345 N. Inkster

"SURVIVE"

Tuesday, 7:30 PM

MICHIGAN, KALAMAZOO

Alano Club

933 So. Burdick St.

Sunday, 4:30 PM

MICHIGAN, KALAMAZOO

Alano Club

933 So. Burdick St.

Wednesday, 7:00 PM

MICHIGAN, Lincoln Park

Downriver Alano Club

2060 Council (North off Dix, 3 blocks West, W. Outer Drive)

"Stepping Downriver"

Thursday, 8:00 PM

MICHIGAN, MT. CLEMENS

St. Hubert's Church

38775 Prentiss

"HELPING OURSELVES"

Wednesday, 7:00 PM

MICHIGAN, OSHTEMO

Oshtemo United Methodist Church

6574 Stadium, Basement

"THE PHOENIX FELLOWSHIP"

Thursday, 7:00 PM

MICHIGAN, SAGINAW

Holy Spirit Catholic Church

1035 N. River Road,

"HELPING HANDS"

Sunday, 7:00 PM

MICHIGAN, ST. CLAIR SHORES

St. Lucy's Church

23401 E. Jefferson

"LOVE & LET GO"

MONDAY 7:00 PM

MICHIGAN, Taylor

Sunset Church of Christ

24800 Ecorse Road (West off Telegraph)

"The 'NO' Group"

Wednesday, 8:30 PM

MICHIGAN, TROY

So. Oakland Office Bldg.

1151 Crooks Rd., Bldg. C

"CALM N' SENSE"

Thursday, 10:00 AM

MICHIGAN, WARREN

Renaissance Unity

11200 11 Mile Rd.

"KEEP IT SIMPLE"

Tuesday, 11:00 AM

MICHIGAN, WARREN

Renaissance Unity

11200 11 Mile Rd. & Hoover

"OVER THE RAINBOW"

Friday, 7:00 PM

[Head Wreck]

going clean is good, allthough not trully quitting.

i helped an ex go clean from phette a few years back, only for the fuckhead who got her pregnant to lock her in the house with that shit about (deliberatly)

she is still on it as far as i know.

i really do worry for her. i worry for her daughter (who turned out OK, thank heavens). she sorted out a lot of mental shit after the baby and at leats reduced her intake. i still worry, anyone finds out, she's a single mother and she could loose everything, including her daiughter, i know that will send her back to being as unstable as she was when we met.

physical addictions are tough, but having seen "her" quit for a while (untill the next guy she was with, who was a controlling cunt who the only reason I've not touched is his daughter). i belive anyone can find the strength to.

HH uses meditation, i also meditate a lot to keep my temprement in check and my previous substance addictions (which i'm glad to say i have fully mastered) and helped reduce my emotional addictions ("her").

just say to yourself your stronger than this, and picture yourself leading life free of such things, it helps.

everyone hs the fight in them, it just takes finding from time to time

[wheresmypiggy]

I got sent this stupid thing saying "Addiction is your choice" I was so pissed when I read this.

I didn't choose to start drugs. Nor did I choose to quit really. It just kinda happened.

Every morning is pure torment. I'm sick. Craving, sweating... a fate worse than death. 8 months later its still the same. Just as bad.

A friend of mines gf killed herself rather than live a life like this. I haven't heard of an ex addict (of what I was on) stay clean for over 4yrs. Either they revert or are dead now.

[Paper Hearts]

For H, it's much easier the second time around (I assume it's H we're discussing...). -Where as you essentially have to want to get a habit the first time around, to get one, once you've kicked, for no matter how long, it'll only take one hapless joy-pop to get you back on it again, your whole life long.

I know someone who's been off it since 1995...he lives way out in fuck, now, where you can't even buy import beer let alone smack, but he's stayed off it, just the same...

Alcohol or nicotine are the only addictions I can think of equally as hard to rid yourself of-but nicotine is hardly as devestating in the immediate...

Alcohol's really hard to remove yourself from.

[Head Wreck]

depends on persons will really.

if your strong mentaly and generally well structured in your thought patterns its easy.

for those of us with ADHD it just takes a lot of downtime trying to structure those thoughts

[Head Wreck]

eek. thats damn shitty msP.

i hope you or someone finds a way to beat this. :(

[wheresmypiggy]

Yes I am referring to heroin. I remember the first line, the first injection. It was an endless chase to get that feeling again. I'm clean now, but as shallow and silly as it sounds. Its not because I want to be. Everyday I want it. Every waking minute. I avoid situations where it might be at, avoid people who do it. Avoid places I used to do it. But damn. Thats hard. Thats changing my whole life constantly.

Since I have quit drinking as heavily I have noticed my increasing want for it. I can't keep drinking like I was, I mean geez, failed kidneys here, but without the drinking there is the longing.

Since 95 paper hearts? Geez, thats awesome to hear. But away from everyone and everything... not so sure i could do that.

It doesnt seem to matter how much support I have or how many people say they care, what it all comes down to is that craving. I know in the back of my mind, one day it might become stronger than me.

When I quit I didnt vow to stay off it or anything like that because I knew that would be putting restraints on myself. Why give myself rules and barriers to break. I just told myself I was taking a break. Its worked so far.

But I'm tired of feeling like this. Being sick everyday. Feeling uncomfortable. I mean I've been through alot, had my share of pain. But this is the worst. I can't even begin to describe it. If I had to I would say its worse than death. Because at least death has an end.

This really has nothing to do with my mental will and/or strength. My body became dependant upon this drug. Like food. It needed it to survive. I've become unhealthier since I got clean, my thoughts are less clear... this is just simply insane. I've tried those vitamin endorphin things... its not my endorphins I have lost, I'm not sure what it is.

All I know is I don't know how much more of this my body can handle. Its getting weaker all the time. I'm becoming more tired day by day. Like I am losing energy.

I mean hell, I'll see it through as long as I can... I just wonder how long that is.

I know I am a strong individual, I have great will power and a great mental strength. But my rope can only become so taut as well.

Maybe it is true what they say. Once a junkie, always a junkie.

[Paper Hearts]

I think really, it's problems somewhere other than brown that keep certain types coming back. Certain people are maybe pre destined for things like that, like it's in their genetics... You will feel healthier, in time-It could take years and it's hell but it's not as bad life on it.

[wheresmypiggy]

I think really, it's problems somewhere other than brown that keep certain types coming back. Certain people are maybe pre destined for things like that, like it's in their genetics...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I said that to somebody once and they told me that was just an excuse... but you gotta wonder. No matter how hard you try sometimes... eh. oh well.

[DarkVampire]

The best drugs ever made are from Opium in my opinion at a distant time. Morphine and Codiene were my drugs of choice because I liked the relaxed, depressing feeling it gave me. It wasn't something I did on a daily basis or even weekly so I never developed a tolerance to it. I just enjoyed it when I got it. I quit drugs when I broke up with my girlfriend at the time. Which is strange because people usually sink further into drugs and alcohol during times of stress/depression. I do hear it calling me from time to time though. So no you are never truely free of it. It's still in the back of your mind.

Never been big on alcohol since I never liked the taste of it plus it has fucked up generations of my family being addicted to it. If and when I do drink it, it's usually mixed drinks like Margraitas. Like the drugs I mentioned above I hear the calling of alcohol as well since it gives you a relaxed and depressed feeling. And you wouldn't be around me when I get drunk. It breaks down my "emotional wall" and 90% of the time my real nasty negative feelings emerge.

[Paper Hearts]

...

[DarkVampire]

Hell no to heroin. Even back then I was smart enough to stay away from that. Now that's one evil drug.

[Msterbeau]

Truth is, the addiction will always be there. 

You will always have said "Cravings" from time to time. 

The cravings will be more frequent in the early stages of getting clean becuase the supply of the drug is slipping out of your body, and your "Dopamine" levels are dropping causing you to go into Withdrawls.....Depression, sweats, shakes, etc....Your mind is the tricky part becuase it will make excuses like, Oh, youv'e been clean for 30 days, maybe One Hit won't hurt, but then once it gets back into your blood, your dopamines go crazy, and your body thrives on it, and can even make the withdrawl symptoms worse....MORE MORE

After being clean and dealing with withdrawl, you can start to control how you deal with it. 

For me, I would scream into my pillow, beat the shit out of my bed, rather than hit and hurt myself, (I then bought a punching bag), obsessed with aerobic tapes, whatever your fancy.  DO SOMETHING to keep your mind off of it.  And most important, find people that you can relate to, and talk to about it.  Hearing that it is possible to get through it from others can dramatically help.

What she said.

Talking with other like-addicted people helps. Finding healthy, creative things to do helps. Staying away from people who cause temptation problems helps... Their are as many strategies for staying clean as their are people.

[Msterbeau]

I said that to somebody once and they told me that was just an excuse... but you gotta wonder. No matter how hard you try sometimes... eh. oh well.

I don't know for sure... but I think to some degree those that get addicted are predisposed to it because of genetics or hereditary issues. Circumstances early in life play a big part in who might be vulnerable to becoming an addict, but why do some people succumb to it and others "mearly" have mental issues to work through?

People like your friend don't want to believe we can be so fundamentally different on the inside... My kids are like night and day personality wise... Have him explain how THAT can be, yet being an addict couldn't possibly be genetic.

[Guest Megalicious]

................

[Head Wreck]

there is hope.

Ray Charles used heroin for 20 years, then quit. he stayed of the drug for the next 40 years untill he died

http://www.schaler.net/libertyraycharles.html

i've no experience with going cold turkey. but from what i can see its differant for each person. it is hard. but i'm a bleeding heart for any pretty face. i hope that you find a way of coping

on a quick google i found:

http://www.hazelden.org/OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItm...p?a=b&item=3913

[bean]

I've been clean (from cocaine) for 2 years, and I still crave it almost every day. But I keep telling myself that I can't go back and it will just screw things up, but then there is this other voice that tells me things are pretty fucked up anyway, so who cares. It is a constant battle, and I almost broke down today and got some.

As far as my drinking goes, I will go on a binge for a few months, feel like shit (or do something really fucked up), stop drinking for a month, then repeat cycle.

When I drink, I don't want coke quite as bad. When I'm totally sober, I am miserable. I hate everything about myself, feel like I have no purpose, and that I should pretty much just die. But, I function (drinking or not). I go to work, do my job (and I do it well), and pay my bills. I guess that's all that matters - I can function.

My heart goes out to you, and I hope that things get better. :clover

[torn asunder]

(my opinions forthcoming - no offense intended to anyone) =)

since i don't really have an addictive personality, i'm sure many will dismiss my opinion on this, but it seems to me that addiction is mostly a mental issue, and the possibility of falling back into said addiction can be used as an excuse for why one's life isn't they way they wanted/hoped/planned. i know there is a physical aspect to addiction, but it is gone after a period of time. the mental addiction is what people have to battle. to me, saying "i'm an addict, always will be" is a cop-out, a way to avoid taking personal responsibility for one's own life and actions. don't like the way your life is as an addict? stop... temtation, while understandably there, should have nothing to do with the decision to not partake any more. in my life, i'd never drank an entire beer until i was 30 - had no desire, didn't even like it. then i got divorced, and drank like a fish for 2-3 years straight, every day. one day, i'd had enough & decided to stop - didn't drink for months. now i do, but it's on my terms, my choice, my decision. sometimes i go for weeks with nothing, sometimes i drink every night for a week... again, tho, it's all personal responsibility and choice to me...

(ummm, i feel like i got off-track again - sorry about that...) :erm

[Msterbeau]

(my opinions forthcoming - no offense intended to anyone)  =)

since i don't really have an addictive personality, i'm sure many will dismiss my opinion on this, but it seems to me that addiction is mostly a mental issue, and the possibility of falling back into said addiction can be used as an excuse for why one's life isn't they way they wanted/hoped/planned. i know there is a physical aspect to addiction, but it is gone after a period of time. the mental addiction is what people have to battle. to me,  saying "i'm an addict, always will be" is a cop-out, a way to avoid taking personal responsibility for one's own life and actions. don't like the way your life is as an addict? stop... temtation, while understandably there, should have nothing to do with the decision to not partake any more. in my life, i'd never drank an entire beer until i was 30 - had no desire, didn't even like it. then i got divorced, and drank like a fish for 2-3 years straight, every day. one day, i'd had enough & decided to stop - didn't drink for months. now i do, but it's on my terms, my choice, my decision. sometimes i go for weeks with nothing, sometimes i drink every night for a week... again, tho, it's all personal responsibility and choice to me...

(ummm, i feel like i got off-track again - sorry about that...)  :erm

No offense taken TA.... and I hope you don't take any with what I'm about to say. No one in the world has half a clue what it's like to be an addict, if they aren't one themselves. You have absolutely no idea the powerlessness that we go through to "control" (Hhahahahahahahaha... what a funny word.) what we're addicted to. The reason you're an addict for life is just the opposite of your copout theory. To recognize that the addiction is there forever allows you to accept that fact that you will need to be vigilant against the possibilities of it coming back. Does that suck? Yes it does.... A few people here have mentioned that to truly face and overcome your addiction requires big changes in how you live your life. Yup. I don't know anyone that's making a decent recovery that hasn't had to significantly alter their lifestyle. Not only that... it requires a lot of very painful self examiniation and healing of issues that are very likely the instigators for the addiction in the first place. I'm starting to ramble so I'll stop now....

I'll leave you all with one final thought. Try having an addiction to something completely internal... and important... like love and sex.

[bean]

I'm a sex addict...I know how it is. :fear It's a very different addiction than one from drugs and alcohol *sigh* quitting sex doesn't help the addiction either..I've tried.

[Msterbeau]

I'm a sex addict...I know how it is.  :fear  It's a very different addiction than one from drugs and alcohol *sigh* quitting sex doesn't help the addiction either..I've tried.

Nope... You keep fantasizing and the urge is there a lot. That's what I mean by we're always an addict. You can stop the destructive behaviors but I don't think some of the underly thoughts completely go away. *sigh*