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Ask The DGN Genie


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oh good DGN Genie: when will I have some real fun?

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"You gotta get to the party store first thing in the morning and stand in line to wait for the place to open it's doors--first thing in the morning is when malt-liquor, which has been waiting in the refridgerator all night, is at it's coldest temperature. And you'll never have more fun than a bottle of Colt45 at 7am."

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dear DGN genie: Who was the person to look at a cow and say: "Lets drink whatever comes out of these dangly things?" Ive just always wondered.

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Remember that one guy who insisted he was your uncle Rick?

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  • 2 weeks later...

Oh great and powerful Genie......

I just got awesome new shoes. But, when I walk in them, they make fart noises. Will I still be cute, despite that sound?

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"Dear Brenda Starrr,

When I was a young boy I counldn't never afford no shoes fer my feet at all, and my mama always used to remind me: "I was sad that I didn't have no shoes, 'till I met the man who didn't have no socks". -Just like the Bible says. Also, the sounds you hear are actually your soul being sucked out of you through your ass. -Just the way the Lord intended."

Edited by Paper Hearts
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