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Ask The DGN Genie


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Genie? When in hell will I get out of this godforsakencornerofhell?

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"When you learn control your inner mallard. You've really been acting like a duckling lately and need to get a grip-this is not your birthday, nobody is going to throw up into your mouth, anymore. I recommend dunking your head in the essence of common pack rats and then dressing in Swiss news papers. Finally, have someone wring the usefullness out of one of your arms. That's what I'd do".

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"When you learn control your inner mallard. You've really been acting like a duckling lately and need to get a grip-this is not your birthday, nobody is going to throw up into your mouth, anymore. I recommend dunking your head in the essence of common pack rats and then dressing in Swiss news papers. Finally, have someone wring the usefullness out of one of your arms. That's what I'd do".

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Damn. And I was so looking forward to some tasty regurgitation.

Ahh - thanks, Genie, for reminding me to pick up newspapers with which to pack more and more CRAP.

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Dear Senior` Detroit, how do you say, Goth Network Genie:

Does Seniorita Starrr really find that Senior Papyrus Heart is a quote, unquote, sexy bitch?

The answer is green on Thursday... you asked the wrong question

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dear genie,

why am i having the thoughts i am having about the person i am having them about when i have no idea why i am thinking what i am thinking?

sincerely,

me

To think about thinking is thoughtful even when thinking thoughts.

So there you go.

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ok great but why?

Because when thinking thoughtful thoughts about thinking once tends to think of thoughts that one might think about while being thoughtful...

That should clear it up... next question.

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Genie, why do we like hot candies like Hot Tamales, Atomic Fireball Jawbreakers and the like so much?

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""We like them because, to paraphrase something Marquise DeSade once wrote, the feeling of pain is so much more thorough, extensive and profound than anything joy can produce. We like them because they remind us that we are alive. This is also why the DGN Genie likes to be beaten senseless durring love making."

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ok mr know it all then what is it i will be getting?

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"I'm sick and tired of people coming to me for advice and then talking to me like a peice of shit. This is bullshit!! -After all I do for you! I hate this shit! You think you can just talk to me any way you choose...like you're better than me...fuck this shit, i'm outta here!"

Edited by Paper Hearts
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