Childfree

[saechalyn]

I don't have children, and I don't plan to have them, now or in the future. The condescending smiles and "You'll change your mind when you're older" comments are beginning to drop off now that I am 27 and my fertility will start to decline in just a few short years, if it hasn't already. But it's amazing the venom some people have for me because of this simple fact. I generally just assume that anyone who has such vehement opinions about my life clearly has some unresolved issues about their own that have nothing to do with me. But sometimes it's annoying.

I don't criticize others' life choices. I know some people in the childfree "community" are known for their hatred of children and saying some pretty awful things against parents. I am not in this group. I am not part of any larger agenda, I am simply making choices for my own life based on my wants and needs. I don't hate kids, I actually like them quite a bit. I also like horses, but I don't want to give birth to one and raise it.

People, even total strangers (no I don't offer this information, but it comes up more often than you might think) are so quick to jump in with "You just haven't found the right man" or "it's different when it's your own." Excuse me? These are completely irrelevant statements. Whether I do or do not have a man has nothing to do with wanting kids, and you'd better believe any man I find for me will also not want children. And well I'm sure it is "different" when it's your own, for all kinds of reasons, including not being able to give it back at the end of the day which is yet another reason why I don't want kids!

I know at least a few others on the board are childless by choice, so I thought I'd throw out my rant.

[Brenda Starrr]

I hate when people do that! Or, because I have an autistic son, I get:

"Aww! God bless you. If it were me, I'd have to give him up."

Yes. This was said to me. I told the woman to fuck herself, and walked away. she's lucky that I'm not violent.

[Onyx]

I hate that too.

People did that to me when I was going in to have my tubes tied after I already had TWO children. Not everyone wants any children at all, and not everyone who has them would like a houseful.

I wish people like that would mind their own business.

[Guest Game of Chance]

I wish people would mind their own business.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Can I get an Amen? Can I get a Hallelujah??

[Nienna]

Yep... I'm in the same boat.

I've mentioned it before I think, but My girl parts are kind of messed up. My doctor refuses to do surgery that will make me healthy and happy because I, at the age of 26, have no children. I think when I mention that don't want them he becomes deaf. It really makes me angry.. I'm contemplating trying to find a different doctor who may be willing to help me.

I just don't get it!!! Why is it such a big deal that everyone breed?!?

/rant

[gothicmom]

I would find another doc. I think the reason the doc doesn't want to help you Nienna, is they don't want any problems in the future if you should decide to have children. I think that would be ridiculous though. But I'm sure they need to cover thier tracks.

[LuluVox]

I would totally give birth to and raise a horse.

Those things are expensive! Might as well grow your own!

[Nienna]

I would find another doc.  I think the reason the doc doesn't want to help you Nienna, is they don't want any problems in the future if you should decide to have children.  I think that would be ridiculous though.  But I'm sure they need to cover thier tracks.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yeah.. I'd agree.. except this is the same man who said I probably couldn't concieve.. and if I did it could kill me to carry to term.. Yeah.

[Aralis]

I am 29 and do not have any children. I will maybe have one or none but I am not sure yet. I am getting up there so if I do decide to it will have to be in the near future.

I do not look down upon people who do not want children. I am not even sure I want a child but I think theres nothing wrong with it and people who frown upon that are just ignorant.

Little story.....I was in the grocery store today waiting in line and there was this girl prolly in her early 20's with a baby and two toddlers in front of me....I was thinking I am soo glad I am not her.

[Reaper]

Yeah, I am 31 and haven't had any kids, that I know of anyway lol. But I do plan on having 1, maybe 2. And Nicole (the girl from NZ that some of you met) is all for it. My brother had a girl with his wife and she already had 3 so they couldn't do anymore lol. My sister also had a girl with her bf. I am hoping I do not follow that trend. I want a boy. Gotta help save the family future you know? :grin But I mostly want to just experience something I have not yet and I think I could be a good father. Who knows, we may have an Addams Family lmao

[Msterbeau]

I have kids... I love mine beyond life. But I also completely respect another person's decision not to have them. I got really tired of hearing "Are you going to have kids right away?" ...right after I got married. :doh :doh :doh

[bean]

I have kids... I love mine beyond life.  But I also completely respect another person's decision not to have them.  I got really tired of hearing "Are you going to have kids right away?" ...right after I got married.    :doh  :doh  :doh

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yeah, at my fuckiing wedding people were asking us when we going to start having kids....I was like, "um...never..." and people had a really hard time with that. My parents are nagging me about it...."You know, you're 25...you're getting older..." And I remind them that I'm right around the corner from a divorce (besides various other issues) that I'm ONLY 25, and that I have no desire to have kids at all. Don't get me wrong, I like kids, and I have fun being "Aunt" to my friends kids, but I just don't want them.

[sglgothmom]

Since i was 16 i always said i'm not having kids and when i turned 19 i ended up pregnant. I decided to keep the baby and she is now my awesome 5 year old goth princess. I'm not telling you this to be a person that says you'll change your mind because i'm not that type of person. It was my choice to keep my baby and it was my choice to have unprotected sex with my then boyfriend. I hate people who are single minded and tell woman that they'll change thier mind. Right now i get that because i'm a 25year old single mom and so i know what you guys are going through. People look at me like it's the end of the world because i'm a mom and not married nor do i plan on getting married. the way bean water feels about having children i feel about marriage. I can totally relate to what brenda is talking about with the her son and the lady. I have a 2 year old niece who is mixed and so many people give my sister and i thier unwelcomed comments or thier dirty looks all the time because we have a bi-racial toddler and niether of us are of color. It's the society we live in and that's the sad thing because for us that have kids this is the society that our children will be growing up in. Some of us choose not to have kids and some of us do. I'm sorry that people are so narrow minded to think that all of us should. just do what i do bean water and tell them it's none of thier damn business.

[bean]

Oh believe me, sglgothmom, I give these people a piece of my mind when they ask me about having kids, hehe. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people? Not everyone has to have kids or get married...these people drive me nuts!!

Oh and for a long time I swore I would never get married, but then I lost my mind and did, but now it's gone to shit, so whatever. I'm never getting married again, that I can say for sure!!

[Homicidalheathen]

I almost didn't have any myself. I used to be one of those 0 population growth nuts as I am in Peta and Greenpeace....two organizations constantly pointing out the way over population is hurting nature.

Someone sorta talked me into having kids, and it was the best thing for me at the time but.....

When my step son had kids I just wondered why. There are so many that need adopting....and allot of people just have to have their own....

My kids don't ever want any. I hope they can hold onto that throughout their adult lives like you are. Really hoping their focus is on something more important, wordly or even self serving.

There are allot of people on here who have never and will never have any.

You are not alone.

I really respect you for not having any. I know a school Teacher who never had any and she feels if she had it would have drained her so much she would not have been as good of a teacher.

To each his/her own.

[Lilith]

When i was 23 or so i asked for mytubes to eb tied after my third child the docotr refused because i was 23, shortly there after I got pregnant and MR l had a vesctomy, shortly there after that i had a misscaiariage the day befor christmas eve, so i head to the DR and ask, well now that over can i get my tubes tied??? and he finally said yes and followed through with sending me to anothe OB because the hospital he assocaites with is catholic and well ya lla know what that means.

Allot of DR.s wont give you what you want due to the fact whom ever they get the bulk of there $$$ from is against it. If the DR wont do it I know an OB who did my tube with no questions asked, i am sure he had a run down from my regular DR but i had my first appointment and bam with in the month i was "sterile". ( he is located in Roseville).

I at times envy those with out kids, kids are allot of work and do wear you down and cause allot of undue stress. With out kids you have total freedom to worry about nothing but yourself. At time i feel sad for those with out kids because they can give me allot of joy and pride and have given me something to live for at time when i would rather not. Allot of people do change there minds, and allot of people have accidents, If you change you mind good, if you have an accident okay, but for the moment you say i dont want a child the other person should respect that no matter your reason.

lilith

[Shade Everdark]

I don't have children, and I don't plan to have them, now or in the future.  The condescending smiles and "You'll change your mind when you're older" comments are beginning to drop off now that I am 27 and my fertility will start to decline in just a few short years, if it hasn't already.  But it's amazing the venom some people have for me because of this simple fact.  I generally just assume that anyone who has such vehement opinions about my life clearly has some unresolved issues about their own that have nothing to do with me.  But sometimes it's annoying. 

I don't criticize others' life choices.  I know some people in the childfree "community" are known for their hatred of children and saying some pretty awful things against parents.  I am not in this group.  I am not part of any larger agenda, I am simply making choices for my own life based on my wants and needs.  I don't hate kids, I actually like them quite a bit.  I also like horses, but I don't want to give birth to one and raise it. 

People, even total strangers (no I don't offer this information, but it comes up more often than you might think) are so quick to jump in with "You just haven't found the right man" or "it's different when it's your own."  Excuse me?  These are completely irrelevant statements.  Whether I do or do not have a man has nothing to do with wanting kids, and you'd better believe any man I find for me will also not want children.  And well I'm sure it is "different" when it's your own, for all kinds of reasons, including not being able to give it back at the end of the day which is yet another reason why I don't want kids!

I know at least a few others on the board are childless by choice, so I thought  I'd throw out my rant.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Amen to this, Saechalyn. I can't describe to you how tired I am of hearing, "You'll change your mind in a few years," "You'd make a wonderful father!" or, "It's different when it's yours." The only difference is that I wouldn't be able to just walk away from it, and I'd therefore end up in jail for murder. I have absolutely zero patience for children, and I don't see it changing anytime soon, if ever.

People need to realize that everyone is different, and not everyone needs children to make their lives feel complete. I'm something of an anomaly, I think, in that I don't even like being around children, but I'm entitled to even that opinion. Kids and Shade just don't mix, and never will.

[saechalyn]

It all comes down to respecting other people's life choices. I'm sorry for everyone who is going through parental/family pressure to get married and/or have kids before they're ready. I think that kind of behavior is disgusting, and one of the biggest disservices parents do to their adult children.

[Hellion]

:devil I do not want to bring any kids in a corrupt nation where there are to many weirdo's in society. Ten years from now no one knows what the world will be like., but things can change.

[float]

I hate when people do that! Or, because I have an autistic son, I get:

"Aww! God bless you. If it were me, I'd have to give him up."

Yes. This was said to me. I told the woman to fuck herself, and walked away. she's lucky that I'm not violent.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

that's the most despicable thing I've ever heard

[float]

I too am childless

I respect those with children

and I respect those without

I still can't believe a woman said that Brenda

it's horrible

[Msterbeau]

I too am childless

I respect those with children

and I respect those without

I still can't believe a woman said that Brenda

it's horrible

I can't even comment on this... I'd track the cunt down myself and beat her... Oh wait. I'm not violent either. :doh

I have a better idea. I'd make her watch the swim class full of autistic kids that my ex helps teach... and watch...and watch...and watch.

[Fierce Critter]

I put a slew of yardsale and eBay leftovers up for sale on local yard sale groups on Saturday. One of the items was a Darth Vader Halloween costume from The Empire Strikes Back. I got an e-mail from a woman with an autistic son asking how much I wanted for it, as her child, Nicklas, wanted it terribly. I told her it cost one smile from Nicklas.

They showed up while I was in bed, but Jon walked the costume out to them and the look on Nicklas' face was priceless (I could see them through the bedroom blinds). I also had Jon give him a bunch of original Star Wars-related coloring books & storybooks.

"Give him up". The nerve.

[float]

I put a slew of yardsale and eBay leftovers up for sale on local yard sale groups on Saturday. One of the items was a Darth Vader Halloween costume from The Empire Strikes Back. I got an e-mail from a woman with an autistic son asking how much I wanted for it, as her child, Nicklas, wanted it terribly. I told her it cost one smile from Nicklas.

They showed up while I was in bed, but Jon walked the costume out to them and the look on Nicklas' face was priceless (I could see them through the bedroom blinds). I also had Jon give him a bunch of original Star Wars-related coloring books & storybooks.

"Give him up". The nerve.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

that is the nicest thing

you sound like great people

[float]

in keeping with the childfree subject, it's amazing how put off people get when we tell them we've decided not to have kids. They can't believe it...like, you have too, how can you not...how can my life go on if you don't pro-create, blah blah blah

what the fuck?