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The Broken Hearts Club


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Hello everyone,

I made this post because I like most of you out there have had your hearts broken, stomped on, and or blown up by a quad lazer (only availible on the moon)

So I thought it would be a great place for all of us to have a place to vent out our frustraions for that thing called l*ve. Feel free to post stories, rants, or gripes. Please though, no death threats. Send those directly to me I am quite affordable.

An_Incomplete_heart

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My heart is broken and I've decided I am just going to learn to be happy alone. I've always been the one to cheer up other people after their breakups, but you know, I'm sick of being hurt and I'm tired of trying.

Another thing is, I care about my ex boyfriend and wish him all the best, but I'm still very much in love, so going out with someone else just makes me feel sick inside. No-one ever taught me how to fall out of love.

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My heart is broken and I've decided I am just going to learn to be happy alone.  I've always been the one to cheer up other people after their breakups, but you know, I'm sick of being hurt and I'm tired of trying. 

Another thing is, I care about my ex boyfriend and wish him all the best, but I'm still very much in love, so going out with someone else just makes me feel sick inside.  No-one ever taught me how to fall out of love.

being happy alone is key - as long as you rely on others for your happiness, you'll always be disappointed when life changes things.. as for loving the ex, it never goes away, but it does change into a kind of loving care that you'd afford any good friend. wish him the best, but don't forget to wish the same for yourself while you're at it - after all...

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. Buddha
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Being , pretty recently right there with you i , understand. Its a fairly unusual situation for me as I've always , in days past , at least left myself a little bit of an "escape route". This last time i was pretty much 100% ready to give it everything i had, and in doing so was hurt more than I've ever been in any of my (many) past relationships.

Time and keeping mentally busy and just the sheer act of occasionally just forcing myself to "be content" regardless if i can or not helps. It doesnt help as much as i'd like but it does help. We just have to do it or else the pit of despair just grows out of control.

Avoiding self-absorption: Its easy to paint ourselves as victims and wallow in it. If we are victims or not doesn't matter in terms of trying to get out of the pit, just need to not wallow in the pit, period. It the sadness/self pity/dispair just goes on for days and days, hours on hours... thus making the pit of despair grow and grow. Just have to try and stop it. Cant stop it? Its hard but can be done, at least for short periods. Try not to expect any magical "fix" for it, as that can be a let down as well and just make things worse. Just try to cut the sadness off at the source, which is, in the end, OURSELVES not anything anyone has done to us. We allow ourselves to go there, no one , in reality "makes us" go there. All far easier said than done, i know.

My Gaiman Quote from an earlier post:

"Have you ever been in love?  It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one  person, , enters into your stupid life...You offer them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain."
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God... there is some good stuff to read in this thread.

I was amazed at that Gaiman quote the first time I saw it and now that I read it again it seems even more on target, especially the end " a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.""

Sad so many of us are feeling wounded, but at least right now I find I don't feel so alone in the experience.

It's ridiculous since I've been on this earth a long while now, but now I realize this is the first time I've ever, really, been in love.

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What I hate is the word eventually...everyone says that it will be okay eventually, but what if they are wrong and its not...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

For me.. the pain did eventually lesson. Not unlike the Nazgul wound that Frodo suffered however, it will never fully heal. The problem is, while the pain goes away, the bitterness and fear never do... In fact I think they may just grow... Ugh.

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I have built a wall around myself so much that I can't even be comfortable just hanging out with people. That's terrible, I know, but I don't want to let anyone in. If I don't let anyone in, they can't hurt me. Wow, I make myself sound like the coldest woman on the earth.

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I have built a wall around myself so much that I can't even be comfortable just hanging out with people.  That's terrible, I know, but I don't want to let anyone in.  If I don't let anyone in, they can't hurt me.  Wow, I make myself sound like the coldest woman on the earth.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I understand this to an extent. I let people in to an extent but always keep them at a distance. I guess I can't say I ever really had a broken heart because I've never really been in love...I've been hurt sure, and I sure as hell relate to that Neil Gaiman quote.

Ironically, the person who is closest to me is one I did have strong feelings for, for a long time, who gave me the let's just be friends line. It took a damn long time (as in, years) but she's my best friend and I don't have romantic feelings for her anymore. I guess maybe there's a lesson in that, but I'm not leanring it.

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I have built a wall around myself so much that I can't even be comfortable just hanging out with people.  That's terrible, I know, but I don't want to let anyone in.  If I don't let anyone in, they can't hurt me.  Wow, I make myself sound like the coldest woman on the earth.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am the same way.

With people I just meet, if they start getting too close, I tend to do things that I know will push them away. The people that will be my "true" friends stick around, and the others end up going away. I also do this when dating people.

A few people have told me I'm the coldest woman on Earth, so you can't steal my title, haha.

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Well since I'm a few years older, you can't steal my title :tongue: just kidding.

When I am dating someone I find myself trying very hard not to push them away. Unfortunately, with my track record, I've not had very good success in preventing myself from pushing the other away. I don't know, perhaps I'm meant to live this lifetime alone and be happy with it. Who knows

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i was happy on my own.

didnt even take interest as i couldnt be bothered to chase women this weekend i was told were single.

then i found out the cause of one of my breakdowns has moved in the same feckin town as me.

nice of her to drop by and say hello.

i really cannot be bothered at the o.

i'm just going to sit back and throw peanuts at people in a patronizing manner

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I'm always the one to throw myself headfirst into a relationship, ready and waiting for them to do what they please with my heart. It really sucks when you go into something thinking that the other person is with you 100%, and then suddenly they're like "Oh wait. What made you think I wanted to be with -you-?"

I just get so confused, I get my heart trampled on so much... it's ridiculous. And then when I finally do get a wonderful, perfectly normal guy, I break up with him...

*sigh*

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I've adopted an old attitude that always helps...........until further notice I no longer give a flying fuck. These eyes never see tears over former relationships. It helps me move forward and realize that there will be another or other women that will see all the great qualities that I have. :cool :grin

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