Phee's creation

[soothsayer]

I was stunned when I read this in 'the person above you' thread. Phee sure as hell did a lot of work here. Phee ~ you rock.

The first Norman king of England, Sooth was the illegitimate son of Robert I, duke of Normandy, and a tanner's daughter, which meant that he was encumbered with the moniker 'Sooth the Bastard'. However, as Robert's only son, he became duke at the age of eight following his father's death.

He had to fight off rival claims to his duchy in 1047 and 1054 and incursions by neighbouring French princes, but proved himself equal to the task. In 1063, he conquered Maine.

As a second cousin to the English king Edward the Confessor, he was one of several contenders for the throne on the childless Edward's death in 1066. The Normans always claimed that Edward had pronounced him heir, and that Edward's brother-in-law Harold had sworn to recognise that claim. When Harold took power instead, William planned an invasion. The two sides finally met at Hastings, and the ensuing day-long battle on 14 October saw Sooth victorious.

To bolster his supremacy, Sooth and his 7,000 men cut a destructive path through the south of England. London surrendered, the Anglo-Saxon council of nobles, the Witan, accepted him and he was crowned at Westminster on Christmas Day. The coronation did not go smoothly. Shouts of acclaim from inside were misunderstood by guards outside, who set fire to surrounding buildings. The assembled throng rushed outside, leaving only the clergy to consecrate the new monarch.

It took a further six years of military campaigning to complete the conquest. English nobles were dispossessed in favour of Norman yes-men. In 1086, the Domesday Book was published, a comprehensive survey of who owned what land and an assessment of its value. It shows that, 20 years after the conquest, only four landowners of English birth remained.

Castles were hurriedly erected to intimidate the locals. Cathedral building was another way of symbolising Norman supremacy. Revolts were ruthlessly crushed. In the infamous 'Harrying of the North', which took place in 1069-70, the rebellious local population was either killed or starved into submission – 100,000 deaths have been estimated.

Sooth spent a good deal of time in France, where a new set of rivals had sprung up, and he died there in 1087 after he was knocked from his horse. He went out with a bang: his corpulent frame was too tight a fit for his coffin and his body burst at his funeral, filling the abbey at Caen with what chronicler Orderic Vitalis called 'an intolerable stench'. Orderic also claimed that the dying Sooth had confessed to persecuting the inhabitants of England 'beyond all reason'.

[phee]

You are giving me far too much credit here... this is far easier than it appears...

[soothsayer]

I liked it, prolly cuz it was about me. Phee is my phriend.

[phee]

Umm... before you give me too much credit... please read This

~broken link fixed

[soothsayer]

The Pheeurian legend has existed for over a thousand years and is just as compelling today as it was in the faraway days of its early creators - Geoffrey Phee of Monmouth, Robert de Phee Boron, Chrétien de Phees, and most majestically: Sir Thomas Phee Malory in his epic work, Le Morte d'Phee. Countless writers, poets, and artists (not to mention film-makers and now, webmasters) have been inspired by the life and times of Phee.

I know you didn't write the entire thing phee, I was just playing along. As demonstrated above.

[paradox]

:laughing

[phee]

Danke!!!!