Let's just be friends

[saechalyn]

As someone who has heard “I just want to be friends” or “We’re great friends but…” or “I think we’re better off as friends” more times than I can count, I have to say I wish people would grow some balls (or ovaries, as the case may be) and just leave it at “I’m sorry but I just don’t feel that way about you.” Maybe some people think of “friends” as someone they smile and nod to if you happen to be in the same place at the same time, but I think of friends as people you actually want to spend time with and talk to. The effort it takes to get over someone and try to be their friend isn’t easy, but if a real friendship is possible, it can be worth it. In other cases it’s easier to just let the person drop out of my life.

I mean honestly, in most cases, if someone has feelings for you and you don’t feel the same way, are you really interested in friendship with that person? Unless a friendship worth keeping was in place to begin with, I’m guessing no.

So grow a pair and say what you mean. Yeah, it’s hard…but that’s life.

[Onyx]

As someone who has heard “I just want to be friends” or “We’re great friends but…” or “I think we’re better off as friends” more times than I can count, I have to say I wish people would grow some balls (or ovaries, as the case may be) and just leave it at “I’m sorry but I just don’t feel that way about you.”  Maybe some people think of “friends” as someone they smile and nod to if you happen to be in the same place at the same time, but I think of friends as people you actually want to spend time with and talk to.  The effort it takes to get over someone and try to be their friend isn’t easy, but if a real friendship is possible, it can be worth it.  In other cases it’s easier to just let the person drop out of my life.

I mean honestly, in most cases, if someone has feelings for you and you don’t feel the same way, are you really interested in friendship with that person?  Unless a friendship worth keeping was in place to begin with, I’m guessing no. 

So grow a pair and say what you mean.  Yeah, it’s hard…but that’s life.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Familiar and painful subject.

I typed out a long response but decided it's just too personal to share those thoughts. Coming from the side of the one who has been dumped sometimes when you love someone you do whatever you can to remain in contact no matter how painful it is or how unhealthy it is.

In most cases I think people say this to the person they break up with try to soften the blow and make themselves feel less guilty for initiating a breakup.

Sometimes they do it to leave you open for a booty call later (1-800-Dial-a-Fuck -- I don't answer to that number, heh heh).

Sometimes they really do want to be friends, but if you are still deeply in love with that person who no longer wants a relationship it's not easy to manage and can be very unhealthy in the end. (at least this has been my experience and no matter how much I try to ignore those feelings they always surface again).

It's really a complicated can of worms.

[Steven]

To be honest with you I've almost never have been able to "be friends" with a woman that I was previously much more intimate with. When something breaks its broken. And I hate having attraction issues to confuse things....

[DarkVampire]

I really hate that phrase.

[Killer_Bunnie]

ugh, I hate that! I'm only friends with two of the people I have dated. I've heard that alot in the past, and I admit to using the line twice, both on people who seriously cried all the time over everything, that's why I used it, I couldn't take anymore crying from a guy who started out so..well...not wussy.

[Homicidalheathen]

I got this not too long ago. Oh and with this clause at the end: ' And I still want to meet up with you once or twice a year for sex ok?' Yah right buddy.....go f*ck yourself.