Red Flags/bombs

[holliwood66]

So, you know when you meet someone and they seem ok...then the yellow or red flags or bombs start dropping. Got any good ones? *I'll post later*

aside: I did go on a blind-date with a guy who seemed a bit weird who later turned out to have 4 peeping-tom/stalking convicitons...(real nice person who set me up with that guy *sheesh* I wonder what they were thinking?? *grumble*)

[Steven]

So, you know when you meet someone and they seem ok...then the yellow or red flags or bombs start dropping. Got any good ones? *I'll post later* 

aside: I did go on a blind-date with a guy who seemed a bit weird who later turned out to have 4 peeping-tom/stalking convicitons...(real nice person who set me up with that guy *sheesh* I wonder what they were thinking?? *grumble*)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

..... She was beautiful when she walked thru the bar and everyone's heads turned. Maybe mine did not turn quite as quickly, I was trying to keep to myself after having gone thru some difficult times recently and had left my wife - I shouldent have even been at the bar in the first place.

But she came to my table, sat down across from me, said she knew me from years before, named off all my friends, still...I couldent remember her. But she knew my name, and God Damn was she stunning. Still, I kept up my force field until she wore me down, as women love to do with those who do not yet worship them. We started finishing each others sentences, and the months went by, and she had me.

Should have taken her little Heroin problem a little bit more seriously though, saw it the first week. But I didint. Instead I took the sightseer's 9 month boatride thru Hell.

[saechalyn]

Oh yes...many. Hmm, the first one that comes to mind:

I was on a lukewarm first date with a woman I'd met in college. It was a good enough time, but no real sparks on my end. She kept saying how much I was going to love her sister, which I thought was a little odd, but whatever, she's just making conversation, right?

Then she tells me I really ought to spend christmas with her family...in peru.

Meeting the family, leaving the country together and holiday plans all in a single sentence...on the FIRST DATE?? Considering that going too fast is a major turnoff for me ALWAYS, needless to say that did not last long. A week in fact, I think.

[soothsayer]

I went on a date with a topless dancer and noticed that she had multiple scars on both her lower arms. They looked like self inflicted burn marks, she told me she had gotten them from when she once worked in a pizzaria. Well I knew better than that because I had been a MGR for a pizza place that used the old style ovens and had burned my arms several times. I have no scars to this day and all could think was "this chick must be psycho" and I played it cool through the whole date and then told her, I'll call you. Of course I didn't call her. :laughing

[ZhukovCodeslinger]

......I have decided that I will sel Amway and become a millionaire.

no need to really go any further...

[torn asunder]

anyone who talks negatively about their ex on a first date is right out... also, incessant complaining (anything more than maybe 10%) is this your best first impression? don't think i want to know how you are normally, then... :erm :blink

[holliwood66]

......I have decided that I will sel Amway and become a millionaire.

no need to really go any further...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

LOL - when you told me this Ex story the first time I almost peed myself...poor Zhuk!!

[holliwood66]

anyone who talks negatively about their ex on a first date is right out...  also, incessant complaining (anything more than maybe 10%) is this your best first impression? don't think i want to know how you are normally, then...  :erm :blink

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh yesh, it's like you go out with the person for the first time and the floodgates crash open: as if they had been rocking back and forth in agony waiting for a likely victim for negative vocal dump-time....yuk-yuk-yuk! That is when you have a friend call and say it is an emergency...*lol*

[Head Wreck]

they set fire to random things/people.

they carried around twice the amount of hidden knives you did (at the time i carried 3, she had 12, and i had to pull her way from someone simply making sarcastic comments about "its not halloween" because of the way I dressed"

[Onyx]

they set fire to random things/people.

they carried around twice the amount of hidden knives you did (at the time i carried 3, she had 12, and i had to pull her way from someone simply making sarcastic comments about "its not halloween" because of the way I dressed"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Holy hell! You dated someone who set fire to random people and carried 12 knives???!!!

Damn. I thought I'd had some bad dates but that takes the cake. :blink

[Aralis]

I met this older goth boi when I was 18. I had just come out of a relationship and was new to the single life.

I remember one of the first times we actually hung out he told me that he was a vampire and that he had gotten bitten at a club called CITY CLUB :woot: one night.

I should of knew from that point to leave him alone but I was single....and he was sooo sexy....and could sing and play guitar beautifully.... so I wasted a month of my life with him and then he went back to his 15 year old ex girlfriend.

[Nienna]

I met this guy at CC. He seemed ok, and was more than willing to lavish money/attention on me. I was recently single, still sad, and not at all healthy. Conversation turned more and more to my health, in fact. He finally told me in this "supposed to make me melt" way that he was mainly interested in me because I was ill! He said that the chance that I could die or something excited him. He was immediately dumped.. what a freak!

[Aralis]

ewwwww...sicko!

[Fierce Critter]

1) The cell phone. This was BEFORE everybody in the world had one. When I asked about it, he said he was a nurse and on call. I put my skepticism on "warm".

2) His insistence on our first "date" being at his apartment, where, "are you SURE you don't want a drink? Come on, just one?" was repeated once too many. Skepticism on "low".

3) The weird, euphoric and uninhibited feeling I got after one, single drink. Skepticism on "simmer".

4) His insistence that the bed would be much more comfortable than the couch. Skepticism on "low boil".

5) "Just let me suck your nipples." Full boil.

6) "Let me just put it in a little bit." BOILING OVER.

7) A hazy, hasty exit. Arriving home to find UB-40's "Red Red Wine" on my answering machine - in it's entirety. EXPLODING PRESSURE COOKER.

8) The bullet scars. Insisting his expensive car was really his brother's. Realizing he didn't know jack shit about nursing. Realizing he never went to an actual job. His frequent trips "down to Ohio to pick up fireworks". MASSIVE VOLCANIC ERUPTION.

My only regret - it took 2 weeks for me to put all this together and carefully "break up" with him (he'd proposed to me somewhere in all this).

The aftermath: not hearing from him for 2 weeks, then getting a call from him telling me that he got a job "down the street" from where I lived and other stalker-classic details. Telling him that besides friends in the Greek mafia (through family, long story), I have plenty in the Italian as well (the latter offered by an Italian friend, actually).

Never heard from him again. It actually took me quite a long time to realize he'd slipped me a mickey in that drink at his apartment.

I was single/celebate for over 2 years after that, when I met Jon, my current husband of going on 7 years.

[Head Wreck]

EEK critter.

i would have just let people go to work on him on principle for that

[Fierce Critter]

EEK critter.

i would have just let people go to work on him on principle for that

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I met some of his very, very Greek relatives. And he had extremely loose-lips, and flapped his gums enough for me to determine very clearly that he was part of a mafia family.

I am absolutely positive his own family either will or already has "taken care" of him just to shut the ignorant little fucker up.

[Brenda Starrr]

As he was doing lines....

"I would give this up if I knew that I could have you forever."

Oh wait. You meant that you'd give it a rest for one night if I said that we'd be together for the rest of our lives. I misunderstood.

[Paper Hearts]

So, you know when you meet someone and they seem ok...then the yellow or red flags or bombs start dropping. Got any good ones? *I'll post later* 

aside: I did go on a blind-date with a guy who seemed a bit weird who later turned out to have 4 peeping-tom/stalking convicitons...(real nice person who set me up with that guy *sheesh* I wonder what they were thinking?? *grumble*)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If the girl eats pickle loaf, is one thing I can think of off the top of my head.

[TomCat]

Ohhhhhhhh, I have so many. But here are a few of my all time favs.

take girl out to nice dinner, meet up with friends at bar after dinner, drop serious cash on an apparent alcoholic, date leaves bar with an acquaintance of mine...sleeps with him, calls me for ride home in the morning. She called me for a ride. LOL

Any woman that makes ANY advances on another man under ANY circumstances while ON a date with you ( ie: gets a phone number, asks him where he's going the next night, etc, etc...), immediately leave her, don't pay the tab, and never speak to her again. :doh

Whenever a woman can't keep her story straight about anything. Run, no DRIVE away from her as fast as you fucking can. :fear

[soothsayer]

Any woman that makes ANY advances on another man under ANY circumstances while ON a date with you ( ie: gets a phone number, asks him where he's going the next night, etc, etc...), immediately leave her, don't pay the tab, and never speak to her again. :doh

Whenever a woman can't keep her story straight about anything.  Run, no DRIVE away from her as fast as you fucking can. :fear

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That happened to me, I shouldv'e ended it with her right after it began. I was an idiot and she didn't desreve me.

[torn asunder]

Ohhhhhhhh, I have so many.  But here are a few of my all time favs.

take girl out to nice dinner, meet up with friends at bar after dinner, drop serious cash on an apparent alcoholic, date leaves bar with an acquaintance of mine...sleeps with him, calls me for ride home in the morning.  She called me for a ride.  LOL

Any woman that makes ANY advances on another man under ANY circumstances while ON a date with you ( ie: gets a phone number, asks him where he's going the next night, etc, etc...), immediately leave her, don't pay the tab, and never speak to her again. :doh

Whenever a woman can't keep her story straight about anything.  Run, no DRIVE away from her as fast as you fucking can. :fear

where to start - i don't believe in this "courtship" routine - i'm going [here], if you want to meet me, i'd love to see you. dinner/movie/drinks to me just says (and i'm borrowing this from someone) "i don't think you'd be interested in me as a person, so i'm going to try to buy your interest". (no offense to anyone - this is purely my take on it) if i can go out with someone a couple times w/o spending (a lot of) money, i'm more likely to pay for some things later, knowing that's not all she's looking for.

as for the "getting a phone number, etc...", i disagree there as well, but then, i'm never out on a "date", so this might not apply - any woman i'm out with understands that i'm not looking for a "steady", that i will be seeing people in an effort to find something meaningful, and i think it's too limiting to do so, one woman at a time. if i'm out and meet a gal who piques my interest, i want to get to know her better, and i'll ask for a number. (never would i do this in front of another woman, though - don't need to be that "in your face") of course, i also have no problem with her doing the same; after all we're all just trying to find someone special to share our lives with, right? why sneak around about it and hide our intentions? as long as everyone is upfront about things from the beginning, i see no trouble, and this "theory" has been proved out to me, in my current situation. (working quite well, i might add)

now, about keeping her story straight? yeah, i have no patience for sneaks and liars. you get one "get out of jail free" card with me, but that's it - after all everyone makes mistakes...

[Brenda Starrr]

Ohhhhhhhh, I have so many.  But here are a few of my all time favs.

take girl out to nice dinner, meet up with friends at bar after dinner, drop serious cash on an apparent alcoholic, date leaves bar with an acquaintance of mine...sleeps with him, calls me for ride home in the morning.  She called me for a ride.  LOL

Any woman that makes ANY advances on another man under ANY circumstances while ON a date with you ( ie: gets a phone number, asks him where he's going the next night, etc, etc...), immediately leave her, don't pay the tab, and never speak to her again. :doh

Whenever a woman can't keep her story straight about anything.  Run, no DRIVE away from her as fast as you fucking can. :fear

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Wow Jeff. You really need to quit talking about me like that.

[TomCat]

where to start - i don't believe in this "courtship" routine - i'm going [here], if you want to meet me, i'd love to see you. dinner/movie/drinks to me just says (and i'm borrowing this from someone) "i don't think you'd be interested in me as a person, so i'm going to try to buy your interest". (no offense to anyone - this is purely my take on it) if i can go out with someone a couple times w/o spending (a lot of) money, i'm more likely to pay for some things later, knowing that's not all she's looking for.

as for the "getting a phone number, etc...", i disagree there as well, but then, i'm never out on a "date", so this might not apply - any woman i'm out with understands that i'm not looking for a "steady", that i will be seeing people in an effort to find something meaningful, and i think it's too limiting to do so, one woman at a time. if i'm out and meet a gal who piques my interest, i want to get to know her better, and i'll ask for a number. (never would i do this in front of another woman, though - don't need to be that "in your face") of course, i also have no problem with her doing the same; after all we're all just trying to find someone special to share our lives with, right?  why sneak around about it and hide our intentions? as long as everyone is upfront about things from the beginning, i see no trouble, and this "theory" has been proved out to me, in my current situation. (working quite well, i might add) 

now, about keeping her story straight? yeah, i have no patience for sneaks and liars. you get one "get out of jail free" card with me, but that's it - after all everyone makes mistakes...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ohhh TA, what are we gonna do w/ you??? For starters, if I'm going to show an interest in a woman, I'll foot the bill on the first date. Greatest intentions or not, the bitch had better not stray away DURING the course of the date that I'm paying for. Am I trying to "buy" her affections? No, of course not. If buying someone was an option, I certainly wouldn't want anyone I can afford. I'm not being shallow, that's the fucking truth. But back to the topic at hand, call me old fashioned if you will, but the values that I was raised with lead me to believe that picking up on other guys during a date is about the shittiest thing a woman can do after a guy buys her a dinner and is paying for her drinks. If she wants a rich guy she won't be fucking that night to buy her shit, she needs to get a fucking pimp. Period.

Common courtesy, is that asking too much?

[torn asunder]

Ohhh TA, what are we gonna do w/ you??? 

nothing to do with me, i'm perfectly happy with who i am and what i think... was just stating my opinion... :whistling

[EvilEve]

ooh, red flags! i've had 2 of these within a year's time. but i'll start with the most recent one.

met him online. met him in person after talking to him for 2 wks. with my sister and her boyfriend. seemed nice, paid for everything, not that bad, right? played pool the first night. next day, went out to the mall to people watch. day after that, he tells me that he loves me. :blink (red flag 1.) start seeing each other regularly, talking on the phone, no big deal. one week later, he's already planning on having kids with me, and telling me he can't see himself with anyone else but me. :blink (red flag 2.) another week passes, nothing said to creep me out.. yet. asks me to move in with him. (red alert, red alert!) 3rd week of seeing him, then he starts to display some characteristics i can't stand, mainly being controling. then makes a comment, only to me, about how my sister shouldn't wear a certain shirt because he doesn't like it. my family isn't here to impress you, asshole. last week of seeing him, i get quiet, and start to scare him. i break up with him 4 days later, telling him that i can't make myself say "i love you" to him when i don't feel that way towards him. never did. nor am i going to stand for being told what to do. sorry, doesn't work that way. too much in my past has taught me what NOT to put up with.

i might have been being paranoid, and maybe should have given it another chance, but my heart wasn't into it. i was still in love with my ex before him, and couldn't force myself to "get over it." (footnote: i'm now with the guy i'm in love with! )

crazy, psycho guys! what's so specail about me? (don't tell my boyfriend i said that, or he'll make me tell myself i'm pretty in the mirror. i love him. )