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Describe your perfect mate


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I'm sorry, but DGN is a no building jumping zone.... no matter how ugly you are. :p

EDIT: sorry, looks like we've had a bit of a threadjack.

Despite my inability to know what I really want in another person, I'd like my perfect mate to stop me from jumping off buildings. (there we go, back on topic...) She can use whatever means necessary, too: drugging, true love, Halo 2, physical force, tying me up, and so on. I guess I'm a sucker for overt displays of affection.

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you know i was thinking more about this... and all the people i have dated or liked. and none of them are like each other. not even similar in looks. other than a great majority of them have green eyes or hazel. which is weird to me. one had blue eyes. and none of them had brown eyes that i can recall. maybe one... but he didnt count.

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My (non-existant) mate:

* Independence + self-confidence is #1 for me. I want someone who has her own job and her own goals in life. We should be able to go off and do stuff without each occasionally.

* Positive attitude toward life, and emotionally stable in general. My tolerance for constantly managing emotional crisises has been worn down lately. I'd like someone else who is just generally happy all the time like me.

* Physically attractive to me, whatever form that comes in. (Although if we're talking pure, absurd ideals, I do have a weakness for asian girls)

* About as intelligent as me. I want to be able to talk to each other about interesting things

* More outgoing and assertive than I am. I'm really bad at initiating interactions with other humans, and it would be nice to have someone who can help

* Similar sense of humor. ie. she'd love to watch Family Guy and The Daily Show with me

* Similar political outlooks. (But still a little different so we could debate every now and then. I like arguing.)

* Open-minded sexually

* Oh, and liking animals is always a plus. How else will she tolerate the tigers I'm going to be taking care of in the compound out back?

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-Intelligence is really important. I've tried to make it work with people who were not as intelligent as I am, and it was impossible. I am very high IQ, 97th to 99th percentile, I think (I'm going by my SAT, my Stanford-Binet is about the same place, but I don't have a distribution or my exact score in front of me), and so it really really cuts my pool.

While I don't really think IQ tests measure much that is all that important in the grand scheme of things, nor do they necessarily effectively measure ability to succeed in life (though IQ is actually positively correlated to GAF), they do measure the ability to follow the way that I, personally, think, which is important to me in a mate.

-Ethics are very important, and that includes my politics. Someone whose politics are opposed to mine on something that I consider really important (for instance, someone who was racist or homophobic), would not be someone that I could live with. My partner does not have to be as radical as I am, almost nobody is, but they have to be supportive and understand that my politics are important to me. And they can't support something that is absolute anathema to me. There are some things that I can't live with in someone in my life. My current boi, well, I'm not sure that he really does understand, but he is trying to, and he is willing to be there for me. We'll see.

Honesty is really, really important to me.

I couldn't be with someone who believed it was okay to rip people off, or who hated homeless people and thought they should all be killed, or someone who kept a gun in the house. He doesn't have to be a pacifist but there are some things that just make me too uncomfortable.

I couldn't be with someone who would not report if he saw someone beating their child, or who didn't try to find the source when he heard a woman scream, or who wouldn't try to help a man who was lying unconscious on the ground. Or someone who was totally uncharitable to everyone who was not them and was just interested in looking out for number one. Especially if he was proud of that.

Someone who is in my life has to be interested in making the world a better place in one way or another. He doesn't have to devote his whole life to service and give away all of his possessions, but he should volunteer every once in a while, or give a few dollars to the Red Cross. Or give blood. Or something.

-Ideally, my mate should have some of the practical traits that I lack. I'm really bad with money. I'm a really bad housekeeper. In these things, I would like to have someone who is a bit tidier, but I think someone who was money-obsessed or a neat-freak would drive me nuts. Just someone who's a bit better at these things than I am without being totally anal-retentive.

-Has to be in his thirties. I have tried and tried to break this rule successfully and it just never works any other way.

-(I kept this PG-13; I don't know if it will have to be edited. If so, I could start an offshoot topic in Sex & Sexuality or maybe there could be a split; I don't know how that works) Sexually confident enough that I don't always have to take the lead. Having a great deal of self-control. Considerate and able to be gentle is a must for health reasons. Dominant is a nice plus but willing to explore the nuances of "vanilla" sex is a must; I think you can actually achieve things that are a lot more interesting without a lot of expensive accoutrements or complicated games.

-Gender is not a must. I mostly like men but I wouldn't rule out a woman. I'm about a 1.5 on the Kinsey scale, though, so it is much more likely to be a man.

-Looks aren't very important but, if we're going for ideals, I like men who are tall, skinny, and androgynously pretty, but with a slight geeky edge, and women who have curves, but are not seriously overweight. Someone, really, who is built about like me, but maybe not as bottom-heavy.

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Apparently, I want to date Indie Girl.

  1. She drives: a classic car, a VW beetle, a Mini Cooper, or a Vespa scooter.

  2. She can talk for more than ten minutes about: obscure pop culture.

  3. She begins her sentences with: "It's like that Simpsons episode . . ."

  4. She'd never: drive a mini-van.

  5. She owns any of the following: TiVo, a mini-DV camera, an iPod, a pottery wheel, a serger, or a lava lamp.

Wow, never drive a mini-van! That's so hot!

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 5 months later...

Tall, handsome....good looking. Great in bed.....big uh assetts? I have met my perfect man however it is actually two people I wish I could squish into one. Kind considerate and successful....smart and funny and outgoing. Very spiritual. I am not going to tell you which of these traits belongs to whom but I don't think I am perfect so why would I search for something that doesn't exhist. Thats why I have my man (best freind and life partner) and my lover (great sex and romance)

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Russian. Long hair, doesn't matter what color, same for eyes.. Petite.. Kind, open personality, someone who likes to have fun without spending much money. Responsible, neat, and organized.. Someone who likes to travel a lot.

Why Russian? I don't know. I have a huge attraction to Eastern-European women for some reason. Something about their eyes....

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