BlackWhatever VS. Vater Araignee. Battle!!

[Rayne]

*watches*

[JaneDead]

:laughing

this is my favorite thread ever. ever. i hope it never ends.

[Vater Araignee]

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Here let my shove that up your chicken ass for ya

I know you'll have a blast and say "I adore ya"

But I'll still beat ya chicken ass down with a rock

Oops did I say chicken? I meant COCK!

I'm not gonna waste my time with you on another verse

so I'll end it by running you down with my herse

[Fierce Critter]

Move over, boyz - here's Critter

And I'm about to kick yo' ass

Wit' some diss ya'll ain't expectin'

from a girlie with some sass.

I'm Polish and I'm blonde

But that don't make me dumb

I do Mensa-level Sudoku

Yo, boy-ee - do the sum.

I'm on antidepressants

But I ain't really sad

Just mindfucked by an exile

That nearly drove me mad.

What keeps me in da Lincolns

Is my eBay biz

I told da Man to fuck himself

Self-employment is da shizz.

Got 14 cats inside da home

Dey's my posse, dig?

Plus a bunny and a Shepherd

Who's as silly as he's big.

Da husband's name is Jon

Yo, ho! You scurvy skank!

Catch you messin' with my man

Gonna make you walk da plank.

Chew on dat a while

Gonna get myself to bed.

Fierce Critter needs her zzz's

When all is done and said.

But don't think you're safe

'Cuz I knows where you sleep

And if you do me wrong,

You gonna squish like marshmallow Peep.

Raowr. Critter out.

[Blackmail]

Critter don't be bitter but I've seen better raps at sanwhich shops

I actually had more fun getting shot at by the cops

than reading your rhymes but hey you didn't suck as bad a sooth

I'm no slueth, but I heard that redneck doesn't even brush his tooth

You need to focus more, perhaps get some contacts from baush and lomb

In the meantime I'll have sex with Vater's mom

snap, his mom has the clap, when I found out I nearly socked her

but instead I had to run and see the doctor

the doc said "let me think of a way to phrase this the politest

I'll just come out and say it - you have hepatitis"

so what can I do? I calmed down and made some tang

I have to figure out a way to be able to still use my wang

So I gathered up my crew and cruised the neighborhood

and looked for some bitches that you know were lookin good

I saw a fly honey and told her of my predicament

she said "I am cool with your disease if you have condom where your dick will fit"

I said cool but she said "just to let you know, I have clamidia"

I said bitch you're just a ho and I have to get rid of ya

she said I was a hypocrite who had a double standard

she smacked me 20 times until she realized that her hand hurt

I wanted to hit her back but I spotted another cutie

Time to make my move cause you know I'd wax her booty

I stepped up to her and asked her if she'd like to get wit me

I said my name is Fresh Kid T and you should have some sex wit me

she said "a playa is what you try to be, but I know you have hepatitis C"

I said ok I admit it and she said "gee I thought you'd lie to me

you're a good guy" and I smiled and said I try to be

you are a foxy honey I'm glad that you won't be saying bye to me

she said "you're cute too, I seen your newest jam on MTV

you were dissing Biggie, Pac, Sooth and Feirce C"

I said yeah well that's the kind of cracka that I am

and vater's rhymes are more annoying than AOL spam

So honey anyway, you know you have a nice tan

and she had one thing left to say "thanks! and by the way - I'm a man"

So I got kinda angry and planned where my fists be landin

cause if you try to play Fresk Kid T, you get beaten like Tina Brandon

out

[phee]

Heh

[Fierce Critter]

Ted, you know I like ya

But you don't know what you're sayin'

My flow gets down to bidness

While yours are simply playin'

When it comes to daily posts,

I'm singin' like a birdie,

Even though I'm quite verbose

(You know dat means "Wordy")

But it doesn't take an epic (like yours)

to call ya'll out precisely,

I can do it in a millisec

(Shyeah - that means "Concisely")

So let's make sure you're hearing,

You couldn't top me if if you tried

'Cuz Like German Engineering,

I'll un-pimp your hide

Oooh - Shnap!

[Blackmail]

Critter:

Feirce you're not a supa fly potent tater

this shit was hotter when it was just me and vater

since then I see weak attempts by you and slick rick

wich one of you is worse? It's like figuring which booger to pick

so here's a lesson, do not try to fight us

cause like a bic, with just one click you might just light us

so put away your cowboy hat cause we won't let you ride us

by the way that was a joke before - you know about the hepatitis

Vater:

See Vater thought he had a masterpiece like some Warhol paintings

But he colored outside the lines because his aim is like Dick Cheney's

He thought he was chillin in some sort of Zen state

But he's like a 12 year old girl whose just learning how to menstrate

You must be tired of defeat so you should take some No-Doze

Back in the 80's I was tapping Belinda Carlisle from the Go Go's

It was 1986, I remember it quite clear

because Vater was having sex with a hamster much like Richard Gere

Yeah Vater you shouldn't practice beastiality

Because the fatality of the hamster in your ass became a gross reality

you went to prison and gave all albino's hope

when you replayed scenes from Deliverance each time you dropped the soap

Crank may complain about a bad economy

but at least he's never been gang raped or practiced prison sodomy

Der Nister:

See I always thought you were a decent feller

but now you get taken out back and shot like old yeller

I don't expect you to reply because sucka's like you never finish

your rhymes are weaker than popeye before the spinach

by the way every girl you dated was vastly over-rated

I should know, I tapped them all just check - on their ass FKT is spray painted

I am just like Zorro, Once I drank a glass of Sapporo

Then I went bowling like Jesus as played by John Tutorro

I'm a coockoo who flew - just like Jack Nickolson

I order my veggie whoppers minus pickles - cause I don't know where that pickles been

anyway you suck at rap, you should stick to metal

Time to go make some popcorn, my favorite kind is Kettle

[Rayne]

*giggle*

I think this is my most favourite thread ever.

[Fierce Critter]

Aww, Little Tedster - Don't be a-fearin'

All your big talk is just to try make a clearin'

I can see the charcoal smoke make your eyes start a-tearin'

'Cause Critter lit the bar-b-que and it's your azz she's searin'

Vater and Rick can chime in anytime

I'll take them on, too - with some Fierce-some Critter Rhyme

I'm standing by, with some Big K Cola-Lime

I ain't got no beef with any ya'll, but I'm feelin' in my prime.

Taquitos ho. Critter out.

[phee]

Now this is the healthy way to take out aggressions... so much better then threatening mods and such

[Fierce Critter]

Yo, Phee - what makes you think

You'll escape our wrath?

When we direct our rhymes at you,

Yer gonna take a bath.

You and your lady Rayne

Can't run and hide

We'll fill your clever-azzes with more holes

Than Bonnie and her Clyde.

You may be a mod

With ten gazillion posts

But you ain't got the ballz, my man

To handle Rappin' roasts.

But I myself have to admit

Something for which I'm in debt, Phee

I'm referring, of course,

to your Deflame Venting Utility.

Fuckstick, indeed. Critter out.

[Blackmail]

Now this is the healthy way to take out aggressions... so much better then threatening mods and such

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

what about mods threatening individual posters? Is that healthy?

Honestly when i let everything out you people will be sorry. I know so much.

[Fierce Critter]

Honestly when i let everything out you people will be sorry.  I know so much.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You don't scare me. In response, I refer you to what may possibly be the most intelligent, boo-ya post ever composed in the history of DGN:

Bring it on

[Vater Araignee]

Here I sit reading what I have begun,

And What you all fail to realize is I'm Number ONE.

You all should under stand I'm the "GOD OF SPITTIN"

All all you all are doing is simple shitin

out your mouth with all that verbal excretin

Going agents me your gonna take a beaten.

So now I sit here and resurrect this thread.

That's right you bitches I declare it UNDEAD!

It's the attack of Vater

He's on a mission

To take this to a whole new level of dissin

It's the attack of Vater

He's finally back around

And now your about to get ground into the ground

Hey Critter you rap is buzzing like flies,

Or is that sound coming from between your thighs?

Do they call you Fierce Critter 'cuz of the throats you'll pierce?

Or is it because the smell of your Critter is Fierce?

BlackWhatever go ahead and bang my mommy.

But I worn you she may bit off you salami

Where the fuck do you get off dissin my raps and me

When yours sound like a lame ass gave you yours for free?

It's the attack of Vater

He's on a mission

To take this to a whole new level of dissin

It's the attack of Vater

He's finally back around

And now your about to get ground into the ground

Hey Phee you shouldn't have posted unless you wanted a diss

Like your name sounds like a synonym for Piss.

JaneDead when you changed your name you did something right.

'Cuz everyone knows I'M DYNOOOMITE.

AND YOU MISS TURBO

well 'nuff said you know?

Hey up there Mr. odims_sphere

You trashed a good beat obviously you can hear.

It's the attack of Vater

He's on a mission

To take this to a whole new level of dissin

It's the attack of Vater

He's finally back around

And now your about to get ground into the ground

Rayne and Onyx I got somthin for yall too.

But I wont feed it to you till I've scraped it off my shoe

Come on SoothSaver I know ya got something to say

or are you just a pansy that swings that way?

Everyone else I'm sorry if I forgot you

Just let me know and I'll mangle you too.

Well I think that breaths life into this rough thread

Nothings left to say but "NUFF SAID"

[JaneDead]

'Cuz everyone knows I'M DYNOOOMITE.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

no, *i'm* dynomiiiiite

[Vater Araignee]

[Blackmail]

"bite off my salami", what a weak way to retaliate

you need to stop the hate, go back to the shop and recalibrate

you need the exact specifications to compete with MC's from developed nations

though you're from the 3rd world, I'm sure you've heard decent MC's on local radio stations

girls wanna hit this, sucka's like you try to encrypt this

I gift you like it's Christmas, I avert hurt and I heal with Eucalyptus

Jessica Alba - how did she get into my room?

She was sucking me so hard, I thought she was a vacuum

Then her sister joined in because I like to collaborate with two

And now I have a place to ejaculate into

bitchez are bitchez so why should it be?

that you can't laid for eternity

Here's the first thing you need to know about Ho's

They make you think you're wood like pinoccio but it's not your nose that grows

they'll steal your car and make you walk a mile

because they tease your cock and your ready to rock like a crocidile

so screw these ho's and you vater - screw you too

i can go to Israel and kick rhymes and become an honorary jew

but you? They'd feed you to the lions because your rhymes are not kosher

I'll give the eulogy and your funeral because you need some closure

bitchez are bitchez so why should it be?

that you can't laid for eternity