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The Lonely Vampire


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It's lonely being me, roaming the earth for eternity

I'm a vampire, in human years I'm 1,063

I don't need money, so I don't count pennies

I get the senior discount when I'm at Denny's

I drink blood because I need it, without it I'm depleted

I know Dracula slicks his hair back, but that bitch is so conceited

I love a woman and my body is on fire

for her, but yet......I'm the lonely vampire

She thinks that I'm too scary, me she will not marry

Just because I drank her father's blood as if it were Lustau Sherry

If she doesn't want me then she's a ho, I bet she's Type O

I'm the guy who killed the milkmen who sang about their bitchin camero

If you think that I can't get laid then you are a liar

It's not easy being me, the lonely vampire

I am so goth, and I am so depressed

I even tried to shoot myself but my skin's a bullet proof vest

you know this tears me apart

someone please drive a stake thru my heart

throw some garlic on me, shine the sunlight in my face

because if I can't have her I don't want to be in the undead race

I'll go listen to Billy Squire

and remain the lonely vampire.

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