Ever left DGN?thought of leaving DGN?

[the eternal]

It seems like aside from the core wonderful nuts, a lot of people come and go.

I have some great reasons for leaving (none of them due to the awesome moderators)

but I'll leave that out for a moment.

How about you?

Did you go and come back?

Are you thinking of bolting?

Why?

(This was inspired by a post from Unchaste in Phee phunny thread http://www.detroitgothic.net/index.php?sho...24entry150924

I meant this as a nice supportive place to vent. =)

[Head Wreck]

i went away for a while (how long, i dont know. i came back when i got the email saying "we've moved"

gues i just drifted off for a bit, and was modderating another forum, and putting more time training and going to events.

it was in part due to a heated bit of drama a while back that i'm sorry i ever got tangled in.

i just came back back, as i missed being told off by troy/dyno/marblez for derailing threads with randomness i suppose and missed having the higest post count on the board (double or tripple that of the next higest). though thats not an issue in the slightest (how can i ever compete with brenda?!?!?) and i seem to be less random since sorting out a few personal demons.

i quite like this forum

[Msterbeau]

Yes.

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[Head Wreck]

*hands Msterbeau another flower to pluck*

[Msterbeau]

*hands Msterbeau another flower to pluck*

Thanks. The wedding bouquet was running out....

[Fierce Critter]

I've done the hiatus thing off and on, particularly when I was moderating and would find myself in real-life situations that required extra attention, and therefore, had to dissassociate from extra activities for a while.

I've gotten pissed over a few things/people and had to lay off for a while.

I did a major revision of how I view DGN some time ago, and started putting it pretty low on my list of things to take seriously. Some people's ugly views of some things can still bother me, but overall, I've learned to accept that some people are just miserable pissants, will ALWAYS be that way, and that the "ignore" feature can be the best thing since Calder's Chocolate Milk.

Since moving back to Michigan, I'm finding myself more and more and more busy with "real-life" pursuits. I'm getting back to my eBay work, which when going full-steam is a 6-day a week 'job'. I'm working daily on setting-up an apartment which is taking forever 'cause we can only get furniture for the place by "curbside shopping" and lucking out once in a while. My sleep habits have gone completely haywire and I don't like to exacerbate problems by staying up all night on the laptop in bed.

I figured once I moved back to a sane part of the world, my time spent on DGN would majorly ramp-down. That is, indeed, the case.

Also, to be perfectly honest, DGN has, in many ways, hindered my enjoyment of going places like City Club due to having to read about things such as, oh, how about how the dancefloor is in danger from fat goth chicks dancing. There have been many times when I wished I'd never joined DGN due to stuff like that. Often I've mourned the loss of the anonymity I enjoyed when I didn't know anyone at CC and wasn't privy to their private views of how bad I looked on the dancefloor. DGN has destroyed that for me.

Still, I remain on DGN 'cause I'll be damned if I'll allow a few miserable bastards decide my fate - DGN or otherwise. They may bother me for a while, even hurt me more than perhaps they realize. But they won't be the reason I quit, if ever I do once and for all (not bloody likely).

Also, my husband and I have found that while we still find the human race a miserable lot on the whole, we're a hell of a lot more socially oriented than we ever would have liked to admit. We've met some fantastic people through DGN, and carried that into face-to-face meetings at CC and elsewhere. That has been a blessing, and we are thankful to DGN for helping "break the ice" in a way we never before would have thought possible.

I'll never leave DGN entirely, well, probably never. But it's importance in my life has gone through many changes in intensity, from practically a "job" I took VERY seriously to a pleasant, occasional distraction.

[JaneDead]

i've "taken breaks".

my main break was when i moved in my house 2 years ago and my internet access was not completely set up. i was not entirely gone but not here as much.

i have taken little breaks- during the flood of members from "another board" i got very sensitive and had to step back a bit. it was the first time i was ever defensive over dgn as a whole. i was very upset by the posts from some of those new members but glad that some of them were actually genuine in the end.

another break i took recently was due to lack of internet access. so over all my breaks are not my choice. :grin

as for wanting to take a break from dgn because of issues here: i never take the internet that seriously. dgn is my fun. i don't let anyone ruin my fun. i don't put people on ignore (can't really do that a mod) but there are some random few i tend to sort of over look if you will :whistling

so, they don't bother me. i don't let them.

there are people here worth staying for. if they all of the sudden left at one time i guess i would be screwed.

[Onyx]

Critter, I could have written most of that post myself.

One drawback of being a moderator (besides being viewed as a "nazi" and such things) is not being able to use the ignore feature I have too much drama in my own life, and in fact I have had quite enough to do me the rest of my life, and sometimes this online drama is just too much to deal with and I have to step back for a bit.

All in all though, DGN has expanded my circle of friends and for that I will be forever grateful.

Just a note to you Critter, don't let anyone minimize your 'job' A business is a JOB. I have dealt with that also so many times because I work from a home office. I am more productive than ever and make a good living and I am tired of getting less respect from some simply because I don't travel to work.

Gawd I get so mean when I have a cold.

[unchaste]

Amen, FC.

Remember the bully on the playground in elementary school? There was always the one kid that picked on everyone, and it usually ended up being because he had more mental problems than the rest of the class combined. Such a fountain of negativity needs a vent, and few people are talented enough to covert it into positive energy. Even fewer people end up growing out of being the bully.

So, we get people that say hurtful things because in all reality, they hate themselves. I try to be rational and have a "sticks and stones" kind of attitude. It's hard, though, when your self confidence is already precariously balanced on the edge of a cliff. I may be strong enough to tell you to shove it, but I'm not gonna be dishing out positive self affirmations at the end of the day, either.

I hate people.

There are people on here, though, that hate people, too. Kindred spirits. Yeah, there's some stupid drama on DGN, but I've also made some very valuable friends through it. It may cross my mind, but I'm not going to give up on my friends because of a couple of assholes.

[soothsayer]

That's it - I'm leaving right now.

[cptdeath]

i left for a while before figured i dont belong here i'm a creep that whole song

what the hell am i doing here.

but a couple good people at cc steped up and said hi made me feel a little more welcome. so i feel a sense of civic responsability to socialize here. and i appreciate that feeling.

since iv'e been back i've been picked on a little i felt like quiting because of some one or a group of unnamed people altering my profile and signiture in an insulting fashion against my will. they chose to remain as cowards and not reveal there names and laugh. i would be happy to accept an apologie or a fist fight eather one would make me smile. either one could make me a new friend/friends.

but i figure lots of folks have been singled out this way. I know that I'm appreciated here at least as much as i appreciate every one else here.

there is room for me to stay here. so i'm here. yeah I know I can be pretty scary sometimes or off putting but damm this is supposed to be the GOTHIC SITE so go with the flow. do i fit in or not?

is goth just a way to look or does it go deep into the recesses of the mind. can just being crazy and scary and having a history and roots in the darkest of evil magik be enough to fit in here. my roots are as a magick playing dork. and were all just typing on the internet anyway. i don't look goth i don't smell goth eather. but if a scary crazy guy like me should find some minds to play with any where it would be here. i'm comfortable supporting this site and it's memmbers. I'm commfortable consulting the people here and sharing my oppinions however fucked they may seem. if ever asked to leave by an overwhelming majority or just by a few people i consider friends here then as sad as it would make me you would not be bothered by me again.

I look at it like, this is my team or one of many teams I play for, this is the set i claim. and would go to bat for anyone here because there a memmber of my team. i would support you for being a part of dgn with me. just cause your on dgn i feel that i owe some loyalty to you. not many people feel this way and i don't expect them to. so for me to leave cause i feel picked on or ashamed cause i made some folks uncomfortable, i would be letting my teamDGN down and they all deserve better from me.

I set aside my discomfort to come through for the sites memmbers

the brenda's

the daves

all those folks whose names mean something and come from somewere

phee

cearce

Mr.Spiral

critter

beu

damaged angel

lilith and whats his name

the dark

soothsayer

i do it for vyriz

lady windstone

all those pretentious types that let me walk by at cc and don't say hi

i'm here as a favor to you and myself( subbmitted for your enjoymeant)

i do it for piggy and maldor andespecially media

i do it for homcidal heathen and for scary guy

for the old school i was not a part of.

draco (get on that sca brother)

dirty whispers

seachalyn

mikelikesit

dozens i could name

the moderators (wich have never bothered me)

the many folks i get to mess with and talk crazy with

all the people i've personally allienated

i do it for them as much as for myself

I have little understanding of the social cliques here and i don't need to.

there is a ton of folks i never met. i don't need to meet.

i do it like the plastic people at cc do it. I tell em both how much there presence is appreciated every now and again

if I'm appreciated let me know

i apprecite they prsence of everyone else

there is not much i take personnel but don't pick on my dgn buddies.

fuck it dude lets have big parties.

I'll shut up now :sleeping

[Nienna]

I've done the hiatus thing a few times. It was nothing to do with anyone, just that I wa sin a REALLY bad place emotionally and I felt that I had nothing positive to contrubute. I'm kinda getting there again actually.. but I'm not bolting yet. :devil

[Blackmail]

I just wonder why people need to announce that they are leaving......

[phee]

I would because I moderate....

[Brenda Starrr]

I left unintentionally due to a lack of an internet connection. I thought that I would be fine without coming here. I was wrong. I have an attachment to the people here. Despite the fact that a certain person continues to watch my every move on here and cannot get a life, I'm still here.

[phee]

I left unintentionally due to a lack of an internet connection. I thought that I would be fine without coming here. I was wrong. I have an attachment to the people here. Despite the fact that a certain person continues to watch my every move on here and cannot get a life, I'm still here.

Yeah I am sorry about that Brenda... I will stop being so nosey

[bean]

I unintentionally left for a short time, but I don’t care to go into the reasons. I had planned on not coming back, but then I realized that there are a few people on here that give a shit.

There have been a few times I thought about leaving because something someone said pissed me off, but then I remembered the “ignore” function. Ahhh, bliss. I kept reminding myself not to take the internet so goddamned seriously as well. I also made up my mind not to let some immature, ignorant comments stop me from visiting my extended “family.” I’ve met a lot of great people from this board, and it really has been more of a positive experience than a negative one. I see this place as a sort of family. We share things about ourselves, we get mad at each other, we support each other, there are the family members we love to pieces, and there are family members we can’t stand.

Sometimes we question our place in this “family.” None of us ever should because there will always be a few of us that care and value your presence, even if we never tell you that. We all have something to give, and to take from this board.

So will I ever leave? Probably not? Luckily for you, there is the “ignore” function! =)

[Lilith]

i left for a while before figured i dont belong here i'm a creep that whole song

what the hell am i doing here.

but a couple good people at cc steped up and said hi made me feel a little more welcome. so i feel a sense of civic responsability to socialize here. and i appreciate that feeling.

since iv'e been back i've been picked on a little i felt like quiting because of some one or a group of unnamed people altering my profile and signiture in an insulting fashion against my will.  they chose to remain as cowards and not reveal there names and laugh.  i would be happy to accept an apologie or a fist fight eather one would make me smile. either one could make me a new friend/friends.

but i figure lots of folks have been singled out this way. I know that I'm appreciated here at least as much as i appreciate every one else here.

there is room for me to stay here.  so i'm here. yeah I know I can be pretty scary sometimes or off putting but damm this is supposed to be the GOTHIC SITE so go with the flow. do i fit in or not?

is goth just a way to look or does it go deep into the recesses of the mind. can just being crazy and scary and having a history and roots in the darkest of evil magik be enough to fit in here. my roots are as a magick playing dork. and were all just typing on the internet anyway. i don't look goth i don't smell goth eather. but if a scary crazy guy like me should find some minds to play with any where it would be here. i'm comfortable supporting this site and it's memmbers. I'm commfortable consulting the people here and sharing my oppinions however fucked they may seem. if ever asked to leave by an overwhelming majority or just by a few people i consider friends here then as sad as it would make me you would not be bothered by me again.

I look at it like, this is my team or one of many teams I play for, this is the set i claim.  and would go to bat for anyone here because there a memmber of my team. i would support you for being a part of dgn with me. just cause your on dgn i feel that i owe some loyalty to you.  not many people feel this way and i don't expect them to. so for me to leave cause i feel picked on or ashamed cause i made some folks uncomfortable, i would be letting my teamDGN down and they all deserve better from me.

I set aside my discomfort to come through for the sites memmbers

the brenda's

the daves

all those folks whose names mean something and come from somewere

phee

cearce

Mr.Spiral

critter

beu

damaged angel

lilith and whats his name

the dark

soothsayer

i do it for vyriz

lady windstone

all those pretentious types that let me walk by at cc and don't say hi

i'm here as a favor to you and myself( subbmitted for your enjoymeant)

i do it for piggy and maldor andespecially media

i do it for homcidal heathen and for scary guy

for the old school i was not a part of.

draco (get on that sca brother)

dirty whispers

seachalyn

mikelikesit

dozens i could name

the moderators (wich have never bothered me)

the many folks i get to mess with and talk crazy with

all the people i've personally allienated

i do it for them as much as for myself

I have little understanding of the social cliques here and i don't need to.

there is a ton of folks i never met. i don't need to meet.

i do it like the plastic people at cc do it. I tell em both how much there presence is appreciated every now and again

if I'm appreciated let me know

i apprecite they prsence of everyone else

there is not much i take personnel but don't pick on my dgn buddies.

fuck it dude lets have big parties.

I'll shut up now :sleeping

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thank You for naming me, made me feel special being included. =)

Leaving DGN has crossed my mind, due to the Low in my out n about social activity, due to being around CC and not really meeting more then a hand ful of people, My location, My kids, My life etc,,,, all have played a factor in to the thought. In the end i decided this is my link to an outside world in which i will be a good part of sooner or later. I dont think i ever really thought of leaving just a snese of may this is not the right place for me then as time goeso n i find a reason w hy it is for me, From the simple huggs i gave to those when they needed an impartial voice, to the questions and answers in many forums here, the rants about my mother in law here that dont casue any arguments at home.... I need DGN in some way or another.

[Lilith]

Off topic a bit but the ignore feature .......When some one puts your name on ignore does the ignored person get informed? And IF some one else quotes the ignored person does the quote and the person quoting hte the ignored person get ignored? Just curios what does Ignore actuall ystop comming through.

Okay sorry for the interupt.

[Homicidalheathen]

Yes. I thought this was an 'Adult' board and was surprised at the reaction I got about posting my WIERD FREAKY SEX STUFF like the fact I swing and we do things without each other. We are not your typical swingers we are poly. That means my heart.......not just my pussy........is open. His too. If I could have another woman move in with us it would be great.

Someone came on and posed as a kid to try to 'get back at me' for some posts so I guess I offended a few people. I noticed married men doing the same thing and no one said anything to them so I was disappointed this site was so sexist. For being goth and all.

Then there was the drama with that guy I met who yes, I invited to the board. He turned out to be a real nut case. I stilll talk to him once in awhile.......he is still nuts and lies and is very strange.......so I doubt he will be back on. I asked him not to hurt anyone on here.

Then there was the stuff about Large women and gay men. I always thought Goths were more excepting of non traditional type people. Have you been to city? Most of the woman are BBW's! If your going to get nasty about that then half the board will be gone, duh!

Wheres my piggy doesn't post now. Probably because of support in her battle with her addictions all she got was put downs. Poor kid.

The gay thing. Most of my man freinds are gay.....I think one of my kids may be headed that way....my cousin.....my own sexual uh preferences....oh but it seems ok for women but when men post about it people get all bent out of shape. Eternals posts were kinda graffic but they cracked me up.

He keeps me in stiches everytime I talk to him. I hate that he hurt someone on here emotionally but at least he didn't lie about being married like that guy I knew....or his age......or his job......his school....his habbits and hobbies....ect..........ect...........ect.......

Eternal works to support his family. Not a bad guy if ya ask me.

I still post because I like some of you. I have toned it way down and honestly.....this site is so boring now.

I miss all the nut cases that brightened my day.

I miss being able to talk about anything and I mean anything....and get support.

Finding freinds on myspace now but its different. It isn't like going into a room and talking about 5 subjects at once like this site.

I don't sit with DGNers at CC now because of Drama....people fighting......getting sick......the bouncers USED to like me.

And now that allot of people know I am poly, that I slipped up and used drugs for the first time in 12 years.......twice.....they don't like me.

Well I am not perfect but I am not boring...I don't lie, or steal. I am a very giving person but I get hurt and taken advantage of allot.

That being said if the board gets much more boring I will stay off. It is like all the posts that keep going are so high school male. ugh.

People post about leaving maybe because they want to know if they are really so unpopular maybe they should go...or to let people know in case they want to keep in touch through messenger.

[Homicidalheathen]

Oh and I am not mentioning any names (you know who you are, you read all my posts) but a guy on here approached me on yahoo. Asked for total naked pics since I like showing off my body anyway? I put him on ignore. He really creeps me out. When I am at CC he just sits and STARES at me like some freaky serial killer.

And everyone seems to like the guy.

[Head Wreck]

Off topic  a bit but the ignore feature .......When some one puts your name on ignore does the ignored person get informed? And IF some one else quotes the ignored person does the quote and the person quoting hte the ignored person  get ignored? Just curios what does Ignore actuall ystop comming through.

Okay sorry for the interupt.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i ahvent recieved any emails telling me i'm being ignored

as to shitty drama. it happens wherever you go i figured.

if anyone pisses me off on here the ignore function gets used.

so far its only cartman, phatgoth (insulting posts i really dont want to bother scrolling past) and s8er chick (ignored for some reason i cant remember)

i dont get annoyed with users, if i do its for 5 mins while the post is on the screen. and usually its gone soonafter. even in RL people haveto go something despicable to get a lasting grudge out of me, and then it simmers in background low enough for me to poker-face it (one guy in work has brought this out of me, lecherous slimeball of a man who sometimes has a preditory streak and has caused a few women to leave)

overall this place is a good forum from my POV (having a good excuse not to show to CC to see peoples offline personas) as its generally a friendlier forums than i'm used to (one other forum seems to have a continuing cold war of lies and slander perpetrated by another forum owner/admin who was involved in a large scale scam, i'm fortunate to have escaped that slander so far, esp as i used to be close to the other forums admin/moderation team offline and on).

[gothicmom]

There are times I have been away for a week or so. Mostly I've been busy or just not in the mood to be on the computer.

I have thought about leaving. Sometimes I feel like no one cares about what I have to say. Someone will ask for advice, I'll give my opinion along with others. The person seeking the advice will comment on everyones comment but mine! Irritates the crap out of me.

People have added me to various friends and message lists, yet no one contacts me. I can't cry about that too much though, I have a hard time saying hello to new people or those I don't know well. Once I get to know you I don't shut up.

Ok, done whinning

[Onyx]

There are times I have been away for a week or so.  Mostly I've been busy or just not in the mood to be on the computer.

I have thought about leaving.  Sometimes I feel like no one cares about what I have to say.  Someone will ask for advice, I'll give my opinion along with others.  The person seeking the advice will comment on everyones comment but mine!  Irritates the crap out of me.

People have added me to various friends and message lists, yet no one contacts me.  I can't cry about that too much though, I have a hard time saying hello to new people or those I don't know well.  Once I get to know you I don't shut up.

Ok, done whinning

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Advice! hehehe. Sounds familiar. Nobody really wants my advice and I seem compelled to give it anyway (and in my case it's often advice I should take myself).

I always read what you post! I'm mostly just too tired to comment on much of anything lately.

I've been trying and trying to figure out if your avatar has implants or not. I think they must be implants. Too rounded perhaps.

[gothicmom]

I think they look like implants. Too round. Us older girls know that boobs like ta fall!