Diamond Anniversary

[Falstaff]

While I feel kind of weird posting this, it doesn't matter. I may have posted these words before, but don't read too deep into them. These are for my own benefit. Were the circumstances different, he would have understood.

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Another red letter day

So the pound has dropped and the children are creating

The other half ran away

Taking all the cash and leaving you with the lumber

Got a pain in the chest

Doctor's on strike what you need is a rest

It's not easy love but you've got friends you can trust

Friends will be friends

When you're in need of love they give you care and attention

Friends will be friends

When you're through with life and all hope is lost

Hold out your hands cos friends will be friends right till the

end

Now it's a beautiful day

The postman delivered a letter from your lover

Only a phone call away

You tried to track him down but somebody stole his number

As a matter of fact

You're getting used to life without him in your way

It's so easy love cos you got friends you can trust

Friends will be friends

When you're in need of love they give you care and attention

Friends will be friends

When you're through with life and all hope is lost

Hold out your hands cos friends will be friends right till the

end

It's so easy love cos you got friends you can trust

Friends will be friends

When you're in need of love they give you care and attention

Friends will be friends

When you're through with life and all hope is lost

Hold out your hands cos friends will be friends right till the

end

Friends will be friends

When you're in need of love they give you care and attention

Friends will be friends

When you're through with life and all hope is lost

Hold out your hands cos right till the end-

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I'm just the pieces of the man I used to be

Too many bitter tears are raining down on me

I'm far away from home

And I've been facing this alone

For much too long

I feel like no-one ever told the truth to me

About growing up and what a struggle it would be

In my tangled state of mind

I've been looking back to find

Where I went wrong

Too much love will kill you

If you can't make up your mind

Torn between the lover

And the love you leave behind

You're headed for disaster

'cos you never read the signs

Too much love will kill you

Every time

I'm just the shadow of the man I used to be

And it seems like there's no way out of this for me

I used to bring you sunshine

Now all I ever do is bring you down

How would it be if you were standing in my shoes

Can't you see that it's impossible to choose

No there's no making sense of it

Every way I go I'm bound to lose

Too much love will kill you

Just as sure as none at all

It'll drain the power that's in you

Make you plead and scream and crawl

And the pain will make you crazy

You're the victim of your crime

Too much love will kill you

Every time

Too much love will kill you

It'll make your life a lie

Yes, too much love will kill you

And you won't understand why

You'd give your life, you'd sell your soul

But here it comes again

Too much love will kill you

In the end

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please, mother of mercy

take me from this place

and the long winded curses

i keep here in my head

words never listen

and teachers, oh, they never learn

but i'm warm from the candle

though i feel too cold to burn

he came from an island

and he died from the street

and he hurt so bad like a soul breaking

but he never said nothing to me

so say hello to heaven, heaven, heaven...

so say hello to heaven, heaven, heaven...

new, like a baby

lost, like a prayer

the sky was your playground

but the cold ground was your bed

i said poor stargazer

she's got no tears in her eyes

but smooth like a whisper

she knows that love heals all wounds with time

now it seems like too much love is never enough

yeah, you better seek out another road

cause this one has ended abrupt

so say hello to heaven, heaven, heaven...

so say hello to heaven, heaven, heaven...

i never wanted to write these words down for you

with the pages of phrases of all the things we'll never do

so i blow out the candle

and i put you to bed

since you can't say to me now

how the dogs broke your bone

there's just one thing left to be said

so say hello to heaven, heaven, heaven...

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Tomorrow used to be a day away

Now love is gone and you're into someone far away.

I never thought the day would come

When I would see his hand, not mine,

holding onto yours because I could not find the time.

Now I can't deny

nothing lasts forever

I don't want to leave

and I see the tear drops in your eyes

I don't want to live to see the day we say goodbye

Now there comes another part of life that I call alone

sitting at a bar with Chris

and I can't leave 'cause my house ain't no home, no.

I just wanna touch you girl

I wanna feel you close to me

Without your love I would give up now

and walk away so easily.

So maybe while you're young

We'll figure out together

that even with the pain, there's a remedy

and we'll be all right

I don't want to live to see the day we say goodbye.

When I first met you I couldn't love anyone

but you stole my dreams and you made me see

that I can walk under the sun

and I can still be me

and now I can't deny nothing lasts forever.

But I don't want to leave and see the teardrops in your eyes

So baby while we're young let's figure out together

that even with the pain there's a remedy

and we'll be all right.

I don't want to live to see the day we say goodbye,

we say goodbye, oh goodbye, goodbye.

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The first is a Queen song, I want that played at my funeral, though it seems kind of gay, it means a lot. The second is a song that means a lot to me and a select few other people. The last two are songs that a couple of people and I listtened to quite a few times the day of the funeral...they seemed fitting at the time.

I always told Jamie that if he ever killed himself, I would follow suit. Perhaps back then it was my way of trying to tell him what he meant to people. Either way, ten years ago today, he went through with it. I couldn't. For that, I am very sorry. Not because I want to end everything, but because I wanted him to know what he meant to people. Not that it would have made a difference. He's gone. We all have to live with that. He might not have cured cancer or changed the world, but he was loved more than he will ever know. We all miss you.

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Listen to the songs (though "Too Much Love Will Kill You" is not the version I was hoping for")

"Too Much Love Will Kill You" Brian May (or Queen)

"Friends Will Be Friends" Queen

"Say Hello 2 Heaven" Temple of the Dog

"Goodbye" Hootie and the Blowfish