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God & Satan


gothicmom

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My mom sent me this cute e-mail, I thought I would share. :grin

God & Satan

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and

populated

the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow

and

red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and

healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice

Cream

and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with

that?"

And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it,

add

some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the

figure

that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from

the

wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went

from

size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented

Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the

side.

And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive

oil

in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish

and

chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man

gained

more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food

Cake,"

and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named

it

"Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might

lose

Those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control

so

Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and

Woman

laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained

pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and

brimming

with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced

the

starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained

pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories

and

still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its

99-cent

double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And

Man

replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good."

And

Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.

Thought for the day .

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today

than

on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be

a

large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and

absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

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