Hate your inlaws?

[Homicidalheathen]

Have ICP over. Heh.

Dating Game Lyrics

by Insane Clown Posse

[ Download Insane Clown Posse Ringtones ] [ Send to a friend ]

(Host Intro)

Let's meet contestant #1

He's a schitzophrenic serial killer clown

Who says women love his sexy smile.

Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharon.

Sharon, what's your question?

(Sharon)

Contestant #1, I believe first impressions last forever,

So let's say you were to come over to my parents' house

And have dinner with me and my family.

Tell me what you'd do to make that first impression really stay.

Let's see, hmm, well I'd have to think about it

I might show up in a tux, ha! But I doubt it.

I'd probably just show up naked like I always do

And look your mama in the eye and tell her fuck you!

Hurry up bitch I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti,

I'd pinch her limpy ass and tell her get the food ready!

Your dad would probably start trippin and get me pissed

I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fuckin lips!

It's dinner time, we're hearin' grace from your mother

I pull a 40 out and pour some for your little brother

I'm standing staring at your sister, I'll tell you this

You know for only 13 she got some big tits!

After that, your dad would try to jump again

And only this time I'd put the 40 to his chin!

After your mom does the dishes and the silverwear,

I'd dry fuck her till I nut in my underwear!!!!

(Host)

Now let's meet contestant #2,

He's a psychopathic derranged crackhead freak

Who works in the Dark Carnival.

He says women call him stretch nuts.

Sharon, let's hear your question.

(Sharon)

I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions,,

A man who expresses himself in his own special way

#2, if you fell in love with me, exactly how would you let me know?

First of all, I could never love you

You sound like a richy bitch, yo fuck you!

But if I did, I'd probably show you that I care,

By takin all these other motha fuckers outta here!

I'd go through your phonebook and whack em all

And find contestant #1 and break his fuckin jaw!

Anyone who looked at ya, would have to pay

I'd be blowin fuckin nuggets off all day!

Grab your titties, and stretch em down past your waist

Let go, and watch em both spring up in your face

I'd sing love songs to ya, the best I can

Get ya naked and hit it like a caveman

Then we'd go through the beach and walk in the sand

I'd throw a little sand in your face and say I'm just playin

As you spit it all out, I'll fuck your back

Grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack!!!!

(Host)

Well it sounds like contestant #2 is just overflowing with sensetivity Sharon,

It's a tough choice so far,

Sharon, let's have your last question

And see which one is gonna win the right to your next date

(Sharon)

Ok, if we were at a dance club,

And you both noticed me at the same time,

Tell me, how would you each get my attention

And what would your pick up lines be?

Whoever's the smoothest wins!

Ok, first, I'd slide up to the bar

And tell you that I can't believe how fuckin fat you are!

I'd tell ya that I like the way you make your titties shake,

And if you lost a little weight you'd look like Rikki Lake.

Fuck that! You'd be jackin me quick!

I'd order you a drink, and stir it with my dick

And then to get your attention in a crowded place,

I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face!

Yeah, freak her with your nuts, yeah that'll get her!

Tell her that she's fat, yeah, that'll work even better!

Look, fuck you, I gotta strong rap shit

You don't want contestant #2 he's mad whack

I walked into a bar, and there he was

Standing on a bucket (eeeuuugghhh) tryin ta fuck it

It was a big fucking smelly ass farm llama

Damn dogg!

How you gonna diss yo mama?

[Fierce Critter]

Okey dokey. Shall we reply to this thread literally - "do you REALLY hate your inlaws and Christmas dinner" or is it just meant as a showcase for that particular ICP song?

If the former, well, here goes. If the latter - thank you, drive through.

I love Christmas dinner with my family. I miss big gatherings with the extended family - they were always fun and rarely was a sign of conflict evident.

This year, I'm ecstatic to be back in Michigan to spend Christmas with my family after 3-1/2 years without them.

The good news: my sister & her husband from Hillsdale are coming into town for the dinner. And my sister & her husband from Florida are also coming. So the whole family really will be together this year - it's almost remarkable.

The bad news: Both sisters married assholes. One is a redneck ignoramous who recently took a disliking to my parents because my dad had to call the EMS one too many times to save the asshole's LIFE when he arrived at their house to find him passed out in a diabetic near-coma. So he's turned his embarassment into resentment, and thus sits like a big, stupid, angry log at any gatherings we have now. Not that he was ever that great company anyway, but now he just makes things doubly uncomfortable.

And the other one is an insufferable, know-it-all ACK-TOR who can't drop the need to be constantly dramatic and constantly inappropriate. Ordinarily, he's the life of the party in that we all can't believe our eyes and ears, and can't wait to talk & laugh about him once he's gone. But he's also majorly responsible for the rift going on between his wife - my sister - and me, which has had us barely speaking to each other for going on 4 years. So I really have NO clue how things are going to pan-out, and how uncomfortable things may be.

So, yes - in-laws can suck, but I am looking forward to Christmas dinner.

[Homicidalheathen]

I just get the relatives I don't like drunk enough and full of Turkey enough they pass out. Heh.