~funny quotes of dgn~

[JaneDead]

If you go without sex long enough, you qualify for born-again virgin status.  I think the statue of limitations on sexually active is two years.

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[JaneDead]

Hey I find that any body that can shop at the salvation army, with perserverance

can goth out.

Black slacks $2.00

Black dress shirt $1.50

Black lipstick after hallowween $0.98

colored hair spray $2.00

The look when put together priceless

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[JaneDead]

 

Yesterday I even walked past a house that was playing 'O Holy Night' and I immediately called the ACLU to report that my 1st amendmant rights were violated.  Then I marched up to the house and begin yelling at the homeowner.  "YOU ARE VIOLATING THE SEPERATION OF CHURCH AND STATE YOU NAZI WHORE RED STATER!!!!"    The lady replied "I am in my own home and I'm sorry if it offends you but I like this song." So I said "Ok but this is your last warning Grandma.  See you at Aunt Salley's Christmas party tommorow". 

Personally I think Christmas would be a lot less offensive without the christians.

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[JaneDead]

Don't be scared little fella, it just becomes more and more lifelike the more you pet it.

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[JaneDead]

**smack**

And now, back to Penis Talk with your host, Black Sunday

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[JaneDead]

To be honest.. I'm vain as hell.. so yeah... what people think of me matters. OK, not all people, some can just go hump a rock for all I care.

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[JaneDead]

Jon wears a size 13 shoe.

And that's all I'm gonna say.

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[JaneDead]

I guess what I am asking is did this kosher dill ruin sex for me permenantly?  Will the memory of it fade away?  Or am I to be forever cursed in a sea of girken?

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[JaneDead]

 

    She is an attractive lass, but it can not be, for she is forbidden fruit, or to use mexican fast food lingo, she is a bean burrito minus onions that I can never taste. 

I feel bad for her husband as it appears that he is clueless, and it seems that his hot sauce is not hot enough for her......she wants two packets of blacksunday fire hibenero.     

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[JaneDead]

Did not complete his sentence to my satisfaction

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[DisturbedMania]

Brilliant! Friggin hillarious.

[JaneDead]

Jarod, if you ever wanna go thrift store shopping I'll help you pick out outfits.  Just think of me as your own mini-queer eye assistant.

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[LuluVox]

I'm torn between my respect for marriage and my love of tacos.

[Brenda Starrr]

No way. You'll have to pursue me if you want a piece of this red-headed ass

[JaneDead]

heh.. mine is penis too... though I accidentally called a woman a "fish bag" instead of a "douchebag" (driving anger insults) and I crack up about it still...

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[fallennon]

Great thread Dyno...thanks for quoting me!!!! At least now I know I don't laugh alone!!!!

[Brenda Starrr]

And seeing as how I am Jewish I can only put things in my mouth that are kosher. Do you think you measure up?" LOL

I'm still laughing at that one, fallennon!

[Soulrev]

Scary Guy -

Crawl under a rock and die because thats the only way you can get away from this god forsaken holiday....

[JaneDead]

The one I chose will not only clean my colon, but other areas as well. No, it won't clean my filthy mouth.

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[JaneDead]

at least they didn't say " I'd tap those two all beef patties and add my special.."

OK I'm getting too graphic

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[JaneDead]

Ewww... Glad to be a vegitarian.  Just got the nasty image of disgruntled Micky D's employees giving all the burgers special sauce.

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[JaneDead]

My daughter wants to know just what she's supposed to do with a penis. I told her to avoid it like the plague.

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[JaneDead]

Yes, Windows does suck. The great thing... Windows swallows and is still there when you wake up in the morning.

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[fallennon]

i smell everything. i don't even really mean to- i just do it. i will even smell the inside of a glass before i use it. not all the time, but i do do it.

Ha ha! About time someone quoted YOU, Dyno!

[JaneDead]

QUOTE(LuthienTheFallen @ Feb 1 2005, 09:15 PM)

what ?!?nothing compares to the dew, dude

I can hear Sinéad O'Connor singing it now

"nothing compares to dew"

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