My Son

[fallennon]

I was watching my little one sleep tonight...for those of you who don't know, he's five months old tomorrow...

And I could not help but tear up. He is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I have never in my life felt such fascination or love for something or someone. He amazes me. I could stare at him for hours. It seems that just watching him breathe is exciting.

It stuns me that something so perfect grew from and inside of me. I wonder if all parents feel this way?

I just watch his movements and the way he smiles and laughs...

The way when he cries and I hold him everything in his world is so perfect...if he's in my arms he feels so safe.

In my sociology class I learned today that infants who are not held and cuddled by their mothers have little to no survival rate. They just fail to thrive without the love of their mothers...

The thought that a mother could not hold something so precious...I mean, LIFE. If ever I felt God-like it would have to be when I became a parent. Here is something, this little LIFE, sprung from nothing.

I can't even put into words what I feel right now. Yes, there are times I wish I was not burdened with a child on my own...but then I look at his sweet face and realize that he is the best gift I have ever received. My entire future is in his eyes. He is the best thing I have ever done. I now know that my purpose in life was to have him. To hold him and love him and guide him.

I just needed to share that wth someone as I was feeling a little depressed and lonely tonight...until I saw that little angel's face. I know that he was sent here to save me from myself. To force me to be the person that he needs me to be. He makes me who I am...and I am a better person only because he needs me to be.

All right, I am done being sappy now...

[Onyx]

Being a parent is hard as hell sometimes, but then there are moments like that.

[Lilith]

It stuns me that something so perfect grew from and inside of me.  I wonder if all parents feel this way?

In my sociology class I learned today that infants who are not held and cuddled by their mothers have little to no survival rate.  They just fail to thrive without the love of their mothers...

The thought that a mother could not hold something so precious

I can't even put into words what I feel right now.  Yes, there are times I wish I was not burdened with a child on my own...but then I look at his sweet face and realize that he is the best gift I have ever received.  My entire future is in his eyes.  He is the best thing I have ever done.  I now know that my purpose in life was to have him.  To hold him and love him and guide him.

I

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am not sure if all parents feel stunned or amazed but i know i sure do and i was this with with each of my children.

Moms sometimes get real depressed after giving birth and cant bring them selves to hold the baby, is it wrong, well i cant judge it but i know it is not good for the baby, but the mom is usually chemically mixed up. She cant do it ,just cant.

it never hapened to me but brians cousin had this happen when she had her oldest and now the kid is way messed up. But i think she was an extream case she would scream n cry about her baby hated her.... it was terriable. They do offer meds n things at the docs if a mom does have this problem and it does not have to be a long term thing just enough to get ya buy untill all the changes in her body settles down.

I often feel my oldest was sent to save me from my self as well, when i got pregantn with him i was 17 and on the path to destroy myself with drug n stuff. Well i luckily got pregnant and knocked all the crap off, i knew the kid needed me healthy, i also think whom ever was looking out for me knew the only way i would behave is if i had a good reason n well kids are the best reason.

I want u to know that being a single mom is hard but i give you all the credit for taking it on. My mom was alone the entire time she raised me and i know it is hard. I was on my own untill i met brian, there are good guys/girls out there and those who do not love you and your son both are not worth your time.

I also give you credit for keeping up at tough job, i have also had to dance in the past to keep things paid, and well i know it is not an easy thing to do. Most people think it is but there is so much mental crap in that businesss it sucks.

I just wanted you to know you can make it and everything will turn out great, you are in school (kudos for that), you have a very handson son, and you seem to have a very loving and caring head on your shoulders. I know you wll make it out on top soon.

[fallennon]

Forgive the PMS here, but lilith you made me all teary!!!! Thank you so much for the kind words!!!! ...Now you've made me think of a spin off thread...LOL

[Lilith]

Forgive the PMS here, but lilith you made me all teary!!!!  Thank you so much for the kind words!!!!  ...Now you've made me think of a spin off thread...LOL

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

you are welcome my dear iknow i is hard and if i can help even with just words i am happy to do so.

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK :grin:

[DisturbedMania]

Hmmm.... pms. That means you aren't breastfeeding then? Or at least those are the odds. When you breastfeed you can actually suppress periods. But the major reason to breastfeed is that the baby actually has better cognative development or at least according to any research I've read. I'm going to go with the I highly recommend it.

[gothicmom]

It stuns me that something so perfect grew from and inside of me. I wonder if all parents feel this way?

I think we all do feel that way. I know I do!

[Nerdcore]

hes such a cutie keep up the good work

[JaneDead]

I think we all do feel that way.  I know I do!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i feel that way but sadly not all parents do. i have known parents that don't feel that way.

you would THINK something like that would be natural, like an instinct. but some people just don't have it.

[fallennon]

Just an aside, I cannot breast feed because it's hard on the kidneys and one of my kidneys does not function properly. It would kill my kidney to do it. So therefore, I couldn't.