Thats so Gay

[The_Dark]

I have to ask.....because I wonder

At times I have caught myself using the phrase, "Dude, that is so gay..."

referring to or used in the context meaning The is so lame, or what have you....

Is that wrong?

I will frequently say to my girlfriend if she does something silly or lame..."You're so gay".....

Is that wrong?

Just wondering how many different view points I can get on something I think nothing of when saying it....

I mean no offense really - i just think it sounds funny when used appropriately or in the right context

:fear

don't flame me...scared.... :fear

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[The_Dark]

Personally, I don't say this kind of thing. If I hear my children saying it, they get soap in the mouth. I keep a bar of Lifeboy for just this kind of thing. Why Lifeboy? taste it, you'll know.

I do see it used in this way often. Mostly by younger people. Often by my gay friends. I think the word's meaning has changed over time. It's one of those words that has multple meanings... Dude... Bad... Smoking... more words that are used in a different way than originally meant.

[Blackmail]

I don't use that term but one of my friends uses it all the time and his best friend is gay. I've noticed alot of gay men don't take offense to certain terms like other people do.

[Head Wreck]

well the defininition of "gay" has changed many times.

its all about the context.

otherwise i'll get pissy when people fefer to homosexual people as "gay".

but i see your point there dark. if i had kids they'd get a clip around the ear for saying it.

atm i'm trying to controll my obscene outbursts like spacker, deacon, etc.

its hard to convince people your as refined as the gentry of the regency age when your cursing like a dockyard worker

[Fierce Critter]

When I was a moderator, this sort of thing was important to me.

I don't use the word gay in that way. I find it disrespectful.

But, as I've oft repeated, I'm blonde/fat/Polish/female. I tend towards some... sensitivity where epithets & disparaging remarks are concerned.

My beef as a mod in this area was the fact that DGN, and the goth community overall, is heavily populated by people of all sorts of sexual inclinations/orientations. Including a healthy doseage of bisexuals and homosexuals. I find it horribly hypocritical to have a community of, basically, those outside social norms, where we're supposed to feel comfortable & safe & communal - and then turn our heads at blatantly ignorant slurs and/or insensitivity towards members of that community who are social outcasts of another sort.

I know I swear like a sailor. And over time, have dropped a lot of formerly self-governing behavior where typing out words like "fuck" are concerned, rather than censor myself with a "f*ck" or something of that nature. But I don't use language that is blatantly disrespectful of members of my own community. It's not in me.

I know I'm not as bothered by political correctness as many. Chalk that up to the blonde/fat/Polish/female thing. I know what it's like to suffer all the epithets & cruel jokes that come with all the above. And I don't have the thick skin of those who like to say things like "a word only has power if you allow it to" etc. It's not that easy for me.

But I also cringe at the use of the word "retarded" in the new, pseudo-acceptable form it's taken. But I have an actual, concrete reason for this. I went to school with a girl who was a super-brain. Some considered her cold, but I had something of a friendship with her. She had a sister who was mentally retarded. And one day in elementary school, my friend did an English report I'll never forget. Her subject was mental retardation. And I'll never forget it. Particularly the part wherein she expressed how it pained her to hear people throw around phrases like, "you're so retarded." Since then, I've made it a conscious effort to eliminate that sort of thing from my vocabulary.

I just have that much more respect for a person who would choose to expand their vocabulary beyond such things. There is such wonderful variety in the English language. I say, just find a different word, and use it. You might inspire others to do the same.

[kellygrrrrrl]

I have a very loose tongue in general.....

I have a problem...I usually say too much.

My mouth speaks faster than I think sometimes.

[Msterbeau]

Gay used to mean happy... or thereabouts, but that's not exactly it anymore. I don't use it. I think when a gay person uses it, it's like a black person saying nigger. Personally I think even that is an unhealthy thing... it still has negative connotations no matter who's using it. Here's a perfectly good reason to communicate in "proper" English. `People seem to think slang and warping words is fun but it ends up causing all kinds of problems.

[Onyx]

I think when a gay person uses it, it's like a black person saying nigger.  Personally I think even that is an unhealthy thing... it still has negative connotations no matter who's using it.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That is a very very good point.

In the right environment and circumstance "nigger" could be almost an endearing term. I have a friend who worked in a shop in Detroit and he said the black fellows said that to each other all the time.

In the wrong environment and circumstance saying "nigger" could get you killed.

Best policy is to just get out of the habit of using terms like that at all.

[kellygrrrrrl]

I have to add in my defense because I think this getting to be a bit heated....

I ONLY use this term when it's me & my girlfriend....

It's not like I throw this term out carelessly in the open where people would actually hear me or have any opinion on it.

I do not mean to offend anybody....

There is a lot of abuse to the english language. I agree.

I suppose I shall be more aware of this from here on out.

[Hellion]

:devil Years ago words like that meant something else,times have changed now.

[Guest Megalicious]

Dude while growning up my mom was gay. And I say it. You know why? Because it was never taken as a negative or offensive term. Atleast not to me and not to the many girlfriends/queens my mother was friends with. Just like I dont take in offense to the word "queer" its used through out the gay community.

Its a double standard, it always will be. You'll find people that will be Highly offened by it , and others that could care less ... Thats just the way people are ...

If you could only hear how many "gay" "queer" "flame" or "queens" you here through out the gay pride festival in Hollywood every year .. =)

[torn asunder]

atm i'm trying to controll my obscene outbursts like spacker, deacon, etc.

its hard to convince people your as refined as the gentry of the regency age when your cursing like a dockyard worker

ok, hw, you *gotta* fill me in on these terms, and while your at it, gimme a few more, so i can make my "accent" more authentic!! :laughing

[Brenda Starrr]

ok, hw, you *gotta* fill me in on these terms, and while your at it, gimme a few more, so i can make my "accent" more authentic!!  :laughing 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yeah. Because you don't have an accent at all.

[Head Wreck]

spacker and deacon are vey offensive, and the only time i have used them was in referance to me doing something silly (pulling pin on a thunderflash and stared at it... BOOM)

as

to accents.

i have a very thick welsh accent with a lysp.

[Homicidalheathen]

I think it was the Movie Oaklahoma but there was a guy running around singing he was merry and gay...it did look gay.

[JaneDead]

I don't use that term but one of my friends uses it all the time and his best friend is gay.  I've noticed alot of gay men don't take offense to certain terms like other people do.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i notice the same thing. i have only ever seen straight people get offended when someone says that's so gay, never a gay person.

i was watching the ellen show once and she had on some young female actress (i have no idea who she is but i assume she is known).

so she was telling ellen something someone did or said and then said "that's so gay".

after that i could see the girl didn't know what to say because she had just said "that's so gay", on tv, to ellen. ellen didn't say anything to it/about it. i thought for SURE she would make a joke about it but she didn't. which was a let down.

i hear kids say "that's so gay" ALL the time. on the one hand i find nothing wrong with that phrase because it is not supposed to mean "that is so homosexual" it is supposed to mean "that is so stupid". and to say that is so stupid- that is so gay does not mean that gay people are stupid. :woot:

however... i know that this phrase DOES offend/upset people so i do not say it to anyone at anytime.

except for maybe my husband when he is acting in a way that only "you are so gay" fits.

i would not like to hear my kids go around saying it though, so it is not something that they would ever hear me say. or be allowed to say to anyone.

but, they are also not allowed to say "ain't".

i think for me it is more about intelligence. if something sounds stupid, i don't want them to say it.

i also don't like to hear them say they hate or dislike something. as in placing a quick judgement on something. (i hate rice! i hate going there! i hate doing that!)so saying that is so gay falls into that for me as well.

have i rambled enough? i think i have.

[paradox]

it may not be politically correct, but i dont think its "bad". i know i say it. alot of people i associate with do. i wouldnt say it implies a prejudice, but im sure others might disagree.

my answer? deal with it.

[Mikielikesit]

Just because I suck cock does that mean I'm GAY......only if i swallow does it mean I'm gay....... :whistling