The Rod Posted April 5, 2006 Report Share Posted April 5, 2006 If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did." Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like. To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad. Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you. One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "DisneyLand burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was getting pretty late. It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, and Angel gets set on fire. If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brenda Starrr Posted April 5, 2006 Report Share Posted April 5, 2006 Oh man...... I remember reading Deep Thoughts when I was pregnant with my son. I laughed so hard that I nearly peed myself in the bookstore. My ex had NO idea why I thought these were so funny. "Hey. Free dummy" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onyx Posted April 5, 2006 Report Share Posted April 5, 2006 I have to be in a certain kind of mood to find him funny. He's definitely unique. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Rod Posted April 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2006 Oh man...... I remember reading Deep Thoughts when I was pregnant with my son. I laughed so hard that I nearly peed myself in the bookstore. My ex had NO idea why I thought these were so funny. "Hey. Free dummy" <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Me and my ex-g/f Amy sat at her house and took turns reading entries from his book out loud. It was one of the best times I had with her, we laughed so fuckin' hard... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikielikesit Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 Jack rawks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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