Masocistic Personal Adds Here

[phee]

kinky

[JaneDead]

there you go

[Brenda Starrr]

Isn't there anyone out there who will punch me in the face?

Can I just throw you over my knee and spank you like the bad little boy you are?

[phee]

... now that is a personal add......

[fallennon]

I'm in the mood and I liked your ad. I'll punch you in the face...lol

[TheLordShaper]

Hummm... mine might go something like....

Corporate stool pigeon in search of freaky tattooed nymph for frolicking in the forest and subservient deviancy. Applicants must possession the ability to put up with my constant nagging, bitching, and complaining. Be satisfied with my seemingly lack of interest in our relationship and tolerate my propensity to blame my short comings on you. Additional requirements include an amazing body, black or dark colored hair, the desire to do expensive and cultural things that your willing to pay for and complete openness to kinky sex. In exchange for this service you will be richly rewarded with a warm bed to sleep in, a house full of chores to do and a annoying cat to care for. All other care will be solely up to you as I am not looking to raise a girlfriend but rather enslave one.

Any takers?

~TLS

[Brenda Starrr]

Any takers?

Damn, that all sounds hot. Where do I sign up?

[TearSandrille]

Thought this was funny and would put one up.

If you are looking for a girl who will probably want more sex than you are adequately equipped than I'm your girl. Also possessive and jealous. Will want to know where you have been every minute of everyday. Also, will get upset about your past lovers when brought up and fly off the handle at anything she deems fit. This will usually include such things as not sounding excited when answering the phone or hanging out with other people besides her. Also, the biggest hypocrit you will ever encounter.

[JaneDead]

i should take the word "hefty" out of mine. no one calls me that- i just called myself that.

but i could say you must want to call me other names. yeah you must want to call me names and/or label me.

that's it- who's your lazy bitch, who's your momma? me - that's who.

why isn't anyone responding to any of them? i thought that was going to happen as well.

[phee]

If you are looking for a girl who will probably want more sex than you are adequately equipped than I'm your girl.

I find it hard to believe that a boyfriend would compalin about such things....

BTW..... I am really afraid of being left and having everybody else think for me...

[JaneDead]

believe me phee- there are girls out there that want sex more than some guys do. hard to believe but it is true. and some guys who are ok with hardly any sex at all.

[torn asunder]

heh, nevermind... :whistling:

[Brenda Starrr]

I want sex. Now would be good.

[phee]

I am sending an employee your way Brenda... hang on...

[Brenda Starrr]

Thanks, Phee. I hope he's good.

[TearSandrille]

It's a hard thing to believe, but it happens.

[phee]

Sigh

[bean]

Funny Stuff....well, here's what mine would be:

An orally gifted sex addict with drinking and emotional problems. Has a bad temper and tends to throw objects at others when angry. Is cold hearted and refuses to share herself emotionally with others. Likes to argue about trivial things and makes mountains out of molehills. Refuses to be in a monogamous relationship and wants others to be okay with this. Has obsessive compulsive tendencies and drives like a maniac. Takes joy in ruining others lives and snores on purpose. Casts spells on her victims, then crushes all the joy in their life. May secretly be a black widow.

I’ve been told all of those things before, haha.

[saechalyn]

I already posted this in another thread; didn't see this one. I guess this is more appropriate here:

Narcissistic, self-indulgent brat seeks sexy, emotionally unavailable loser who is not interested in me that I can pine over from afar. Help me boost my goth points by giving me vague allusions of interest that I can overanalyze and angst over. You don’t even have to talk to me, and I won’t bother you all that much, but thinly veiled references to you may pop up from time to time in my livejournal.

[pomba gira]

After 15+ years of drug-fuelled underachieving, I've finally decided to pull things together- and YOU are expected to subjugate your entire being to my new goals and sense of direction! Pedantic insecure know-it-all with a pathological fear of ever doing anything "mainstream" seeks sef-effacing type with similar encylopedic stock of utterly useless trivia and desire to listen to me yammer on for hours about arcane & esoteric nonsense. Even better if you have no idea what I'm talking about so I can feel even more superior to you. You are also expected to help me deal with various lifestyle-caused health problems, while listening to me bitch about you not taking proper care of your own health. You must show interest in the endless projects that I am constantly starting but never finishing- but not TOO much interest or I'll get mad at you for pointing out what a wretched procrastinator I am. Oh yeah, did I mention that I really don't get the whole concept of monogamy, and will almost certainly expect more sex than you feel like providing? Doesn't this sound like fun? Let's get together someplace obscure and non-mainstream... so I can complain about how trendy the place is and how young everyone is.

[mallochai]

Here is mine:

Amoral, Psycho, overgrown child, looking for meaningful relationship.

I am an unspiritual bad parent, who is prone to yelling at my significant others, and I am very lazy. I refuse to be useful and I have no common sense. I am very clingly and needy, and I refuse to give my lovers any space. I love to talk about movies/film/and TV.... and almost nothing else. I have large communication problems, and refuse to disclose anything about myself. I am also arrogent and believe I am never wrong (which is really cool cuz then the lucky lady doesn't need to think) I will ruin the best years of your life, punish you, and give you passive aggressive guilt trips.

Interested? :woot:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

wow... cut out the part about parenting, and change movies/film/tv to books/humanism/politics and you've just described my roomate. creepy.

[Msterbeau]

Oversensitive, highly-emotional, clingy romance addict seeks brilliant, domineering and successful business woman to remind me of my inadequecies and failures while I subvert and destroy your life as my revenge. I am bad with money, a selfish asshole, and the king of procrastinators. I make a joke of everything to hide the pains of truthfullness. I will lie to you all day in order to prevent being yelled at, break your stuff when you piss me off and insist that we do everything I love before I ever consider your needs. I spend all day on the computer or in the garage, in my own little world, so please don't intrude. I have my own children, that I see only when I want but pretend they are my first priority. Get real. I come first.

If your self-esteem needs a reality check, by all means contact me.

[Rayne]

Selfish, worthless, egotistical female who has no common sense seeks relationship.

I am a good for nothing horrible parent who will never make anything out of her life. I refuse to think about others and only consider myself. I am highly uneducated and am lucky I graduated at all. I will ultimately fail at anything I attempt and drag you down with me. I am constantly complaining about something and bitching about everything. I'm an extremely hypocritical person who analyzes everything and everyone way too much. I am completely irresponsible with everything and am extremely lazy. I never clean and procrastinate about anything I can get away with. I am evil and inadaquate.

I also have medical problems that are all in my head and I use to make people feel sorry for me.

Interested? Let me know.

(*disclaimer: this is the complete opposite of what I really am, just thought I'd throw this in here, because it is a public message board, in case it becomes obtained by certain people*)

[Draco1958]

How does one respond to these, FC got me with the cats, others with the sex. Hmmmm how does one choose. I know, which ever lady will put up with a lazy, over affectionate, horny male, who will walk up behind you at the kitchen sink to nibble on your neck and fondle you, snores to the point you can't sleep and have to kick me out of the bedroom yet have the TV blaring all night cuz you can't sleep without the noise. Someone easy to beat down with words, is useless and will put up with you taking off for days at a time without calling yet expect me to call if I am going to be just 5 mins late coming home from whereever I am at. Someone who will sit back and let all your friends come first and accept the leftovers of affection if and when you deem I deserve and earned it.

[Msterbeau]

How does one respond to these,

With loads of sarcasm and a dash of creativity.