A Plea for Help

[n0Mad]

I wasn't sure where to put this. "Health & Well Being" would've worked, as would a few other places. But I chose here and hopefully enough people read this and reply that I can take action.

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I just got done chatting with a good friend of mine. It's been forever since we've last talked and now I know why. She met a new guy who seemed charming at first so she and her kids moved in with him. He provides food and housing and lets her use his car so she can get to and from work. But it turns out that he's controlling, and verbally and emotionally abuses her. He's also a heavy drinker and when he gets drunk he attempts to physically abuse her but she's quick enough to get out of the way. She'd like to leave him but she's dependent on him. There's no way she can surive without his support, especially with her kids. She stated than her ex-husband offered to help her out, but only to get back into her pants. All the other men in her life have stated something similar; the, "I'll help you if you help me," thing.

If I had the means to help her, I would call in sick to work and drive up there now. But I can't even take care of myself let alone her. I did promise I'd look into battered women support groups, shelters, financial aid for abuse victims, and the like. If anyone has any info on this, please send it my way. Thank you.

[Miranda]

Here is a listing of places she could call for women with families. I know people in that situation, they have gone to shelters with their children and stayed for more than a couple months.

http://www.ci.detroit.mi.us/legislative/Re...essShelters.htm

[Miranda]

Where does this woman live? What city?

[Draco1958]

Get ahold of FIA and Focus Hope, they can provide emergency shelter, food and such. When my mom was in the nursing home, I had to apply for aid thru FIA. on the form there is the ability to file for emergency help for funds to rent, food and such including helping find a place. It might be section 8 to start but that is better than what she is going thru. FIA is the Family Independence Agency, basically social services.

[Guest Megalicious]

I have messaged to you things that are in her county, programs and shelters. CHECK YOUR IN BOX =) and good luck my friend, I hope they will be helpful.

[Kit Kat P]

i've been there, there are always a ton of programs around you. And she can get a restraning for herself and her kids. The local police department can also arrange to find her housing and be present when she packs her stuff so that she can take her time with it and feel a bit safer.

[n0Mad]

Where does this woman live? What city?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

She used to live in Midland, but I'm not sure where she lives now. I'm pretty sure it's the same county.

A few more difficulties in this situation is all of her kids are older. The youngest I think is 13 and the oldest is 18 or 19. With babies and toddlers, shelters are accomodating and helpful. But with a handful of people who are pretty much adults and should be able to take care of themselves, then not so much. But they're her kids, dependent on her, and she won't leave them.

[Rayne]

... I've been there. With a baby, but I've been there.

[Miranda]

She used to live in Midland, but I'm not sure where she lives now.  I'm pretty sure it's the same county.

A few more difficulties in this situation is all of her kids are older.  The youngest I think is 13 and the oldest is 18 or 19.  With babies and toddlers, shelters are accomodating and helpful.  But with a handful of people who are pretty much adults and should be able to take care of themselves, then not so much.  But they're her kids, dependent on her, and she won't leave them.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That may or may not be true about shelters wanting to help women with older kids not as much. Abuse is bad to any aged person. It's just important that she gets away from this person and into a better situation. She needs to make calls and inquire.

I have made a few calls to the Midland area for where she could go for help. I want to pass these numbers to her through you. There is a place where I had to leave a detailed message, it's called Open Door Restoration Ministries # 989-839-5994. The other is for a woman named Annette that helps women in that area apparently, she was out when I tried to call # 989-631-2346. It's really frustrating when no one is there, you have recorded messages you are speaking at. Please remind her that she will have to be prepared for this. It's sad when you get treated kinda fucked up because of a circumstance.

[Miranda]

Annette called me back. She asked a lot of questions that I just didn't have answers to. She will be there until 5:00 p.m today. Tomorrow from 8:00 am to 9:00 am... she will be back at 11:00 a.m to 5:00 p.m. #989-839-5994

[n0Mad]

Thanks for all your help so far folks. I haven't seen her on IM yet and I left a voicemail on her phone. I did e-mail her all the info though and hopefully Mr. Asshole hasn't stolen her password and secretly checks her account. I don't think he has, but you never can tell.

[DarkChylde]

My g'f has been through alot of bad situations like that with her ex's in the past, im not gonna get into details but she told me alot of bad horror stories of how she was treated. Whut sickens me now is she's getting almost the same treatment from her son trying to take after his father (which is a whole new diffrent story there) luckily he's being sent north in a week so that should take some stress off our shoulders.

I know how it is, hopefully she can get the fuck away from this asshole and live the life she desserves. It pains me that all the good women have to end up with low-life un-attractive looking assholes. Ever threaten ta beat his ass? Knowing me thats something I probaly wouldve done for a friend I care about.

[Homicidalheathen]

The links provided here are good, I had a freind who went through this in MI, she got: 2 months full living expenses.....1 yr free food, 6 months various other assistance, some job finder help shit I dunno. Worth looking into.

[Elegantly Wasted]

Let me know how things are working out. My dad has worked with alot of programs like these, granted it was in Pontiac, but I'm sure I can get some good contacts for you if all else fails.

Since I live in the same area, if there's anything I can do, lemme know.

[Kit Kat P]

how are things going for her?

[n0Mad]

how are things going for her?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hell if I know. She didn't reply to the e-mails I sent her, I haven't seen her logged into AIM, and I left messages with her kids for her to call me back. So far, nada.

On the plus side, a gal I helped get out of a similar situation last year was in town last weekend and I got to spend some time with her. She's doing great, loves her new boyfriend (whom I met and he seems really cool), and is so happy she listened to us, got out, and moved on. Hopefully this current woman can do the same, but you know the saying, "You can't help someone who won't help themselves."

[Soulrev]

-=southern voice=- I'd never hit a woman. But I'll choke the shit outta 'em! LOL (joking!)

edited to add that since someone on here will surely call me a heartless asshole because of this comment, I wanted to assure all of you my heart goes out to any person, male or female, who has to put up with any form of abuse. Thank you.