Death of the REAL thing called LOVE...

[Saephyr]

You made my point for me fellas... thank you

[Saephyr]

I'm going to have to take offense with that statement. Try being a divorved man with children.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

my hubby and I had 2 sons. 1 a total handicap in more ways than you would ever be able to imagine and 1 that we were trying to bring up without letting his love for his brother destroy him. That alone took BOTH of us to be IRON TOUGH. Our boy Brett is now dead at the age of 8 and we are divorced but we did right for the boys so I know it takes two to make it work.

Ask me about Brett sometime. If you really want to know. I'll warnyou that it's heartbreaking and extremely graphic as well.

If I know anythig at all about you dark I know your kids DID help you in whatever tiny way they could because they were YOUR kids.

[Onyx]

I think what Saephyr was saying is that women are more willing to be in a relationship where there is a partner who is disabled.

I do hate to make generalizations based on sex, but I think there is some truth to that. Maybe it's because often women are socialized to be caretakers.

Back when I was having horrible migraines my ex-husband would always run and find something else he had to do whenever I was sick. He said he "didn't like hospitals". Yeah. I didn't like them either but I'd have appreciated some company. (Yet another reason I am no longer with him).

There are some notable exceptions though. I also know some women who have left relationships when their husband became disabled, and know some men who have stuck by their partners through years of physical problems and are still very much in love.

[creatureofthenyte]

All I have to say is; I am the type of person that would be there for my lady(if I had one). The people who are in my life take precedence over all else. Stuff can be replaced, movies can be watched at another time. The bars aren't going anywhere. I have my priorities straight.

If one person in the relationship is disabled somehow, That shouldn't make the other person love them any less. The person with the disability, most likely didn't ask to have it. I'm sure no one would ever say: " Hey yeah! I'll take that! sure a disability would be fun to have! " <-- No one would ever say that. I can't speak for other men, but I, surely have the strength to be there for my lady(again, if I had one), when I'm needed/wanted the most.

[creatureofthenyte]

All I have to say is; I am the type of person that would be there for my lady(if I had one). The people who are in my life take precedence over all else. Stuff can be replaced, movies can be watched at another time. The bars aren't going anywhere. I have my priorities straight.

If one person in the relationship is disabled somehow, That shouldn't make the other person love them any less. The person with the disability, most likely didn't ask to have it. I'm sure no one would ever say: " Hey yeah! I'll take that! sure a disability would be fun to have! " <-- No one would ever say that. I can't speak for other men, but I, surely have the strength to be there for my lady(again, if I had one), when I'm needed/wanted the most.

[creatureofthenyte]

All I have to say is; I am the type of person that would be there for my lady(if I had one). The people who are in my life take precedence over all else. Stuff can be replaced, movies can be watched at another time. The bars aren't going anywhere. I have my priorities straight.

If one person in the relationship is disabled somehow, That shouldn't make the other person love them any less. The person with the disability, most likely didn't ask to have it. I'm sure no one would ever say: " Hey yeah! I'll take that! sure a disability would be fun to have! " <-- No one would ever say that. I can't speak for other men, but I, surely have the strength to be there for my lady(again, if I had one), when I'm needed/wanted the most.

[creatureofthenyte]

All I have to say is; I am the type of person that would be there for my lady(if I had one). The people who are in my life take precedence over all else. Stuff can be replaced, movies can be watched at another time. The bars aren't going anywhere. I have my priorities straight.

If one person in the relationship is disabled somehow, That shouldn't make the other person love them any less. The person with the disability, most likely didn't ask to have it. I'm sure no one would ever say: " Hey yeah! I'll take that! sure a disability would be fun to have! " <-- No one would ever say that. I can't speak for other men, but I, surely have the strength to be there for my lady(again, if I had one), when I'm needed/wanted the most.

[creatureofthenyte]

All I have to say is; I am the type of person that would be there for my lady(if I had one). The people who are in my life take precedence over all else. Stuff can be replaced, movies can be watched at another time. The bars aren't going anywhere. I have my priorities straight.

If one person in the relationship is disabled somehow, That shouldn't make the other person love them any less. The person with the disability, most likely didn't ask to have it. I'm sure no one would ever say: " Hey yeah! I'll take that! sure a disability would be fun to have! " <-- No one would ever say that. I can't speak for other men, but I, surely have the strength to be there for my lady(again, if I had one), when I'm needed/wanted the most.

[creatureofthenyte]

Just in case people think I'm Daffy, I AM. But the reason why this reply I just posted is on here 3 times is due to me hitting the add reply button and experiencing a technical difficulty with the website and having to try again to get it to post my reply. Gotta love technology; NOT!

[Saephyr]

Onyx - You and I were going thru the exact same thing at the exact same time if you recall. My husband was saying and doing the same thing that yours was and we were both in desperate pain and nothing we said or did made our spouses understand that it was thier JOB to be there when we were in pain or scared in a damned hospital. :fear

All the arguing you have to do with docs and nurses is just IMPOSSABLE to do when you can barely speak since they love to YELL when you're bloody head of coming off.

I asked for a priest, un or social worker to come to my room due to the staff being so insensitive at times and damned if they cared why. I never forget those days and I make sure to this very day that I remind the man that USED to be my husband that he did the wrong thing and he will have to live with that regret or.. try and make up for it by being my friend now...which he tries to be.

[Saephyr]

All I have to say is;  I am the type of person that would be there for my lady(if I had one). The people who are in my life take precedence over all else. Stuff can be replaced, movies can be watched at another time. The bars aren't going anywhere. I have my priorities straight.

If one person in the relationship is disabled somehow, That shouldn't make the other person love them any less. The person with the disability, most likely didn't ask to have it. I'm sure no one would ever say: " Hey yeah! I'll take that! sure a disability would be fun to have! " <-- No one would ever say that. I can't speak for other men, but I, surely have the strength to be there for my lady(again, if I had one), when I'm needed/wanted the most.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I have to say that you my friend COTN are the perfect person to have around when one is ill. When he was here in MI visiting I was havign a very hard time with a few of my illnesses and he was the most considerate, caring, quiet, and patient thing I have seen in most hospitals! :innocent

Every person should have a sweetie like Brian when things are hurting you or you feel like you just need to hug someone. He likes to make you giggle as well which we all know releases endorphins that help with illness and pain...even if it's emotional pain. This Creature has a Band-Aid that so far makes the boo-boo feel a bit better.

I owe you thanks for tending to me my Nyte friend. I'll repay your kindness sometime soon.

ps

IT'S ALMOST THIS NE'S BIRTHDAY TOO GUYS SO WE SHOULD CELEBRATE FOR HIM D-TOWN STYLE AND GIVE HIM THE LOW DOWN THE NEXT DAY. WHAT DO YOU THINK CREATURE? :woot:

[creatureofthenyte]

You're very kind Cat. I was just being myself. Everyone should have a sweetie like me around eh ? I agree. But, here I am and nobody's snapped me up. Such is life I spose.

[Saephyr]

It shall happen you're just on reserve for someone really special just like me... I guess.

It just wouldn't make sense any other way!

*sigh* OK it's springtime when all is well and people look for people so they can start new love and fun times so wtf is goin on? Did the war fuck this up too?

[creatureofthenyte]

Well that sounds like a good way to look at it. I'm not holding my breath though.

[Saephyr]

I tried to hold my breath for my lover to return... it was great

...NOT

[Blackmail]

then creatureofthenyte and saephyr, why don't you two just hook up then? I mean I was all "get a room" when reading your posts.

[Saephyr]

BLACKMAIL!

He's my bud and we live about 10 hours apart as well.

Besides can you just NOT love who you're in love with due to your friend being a fabulous fella?

If it were THAT easy then I'm sure we both could have seen it coming but it's just not. I'm 1 big issue and he's got a GREAT job in CT as well as the fact that we did sleep together (literally), and he's a comfy roomie.

He deserves a nice gal who has no huge issues and health problems like myself anyway. But you can never tell what the future holds.

I can't wait out forever for my hearts love.

I do have a good friend and he's Daffy as well.

wHAT'S YOUR TAKE ON THAT COMMENT DAFFY COTN? ANYTHING? I MEAN HELL WE'VE BEEN TALKING FOR A WHOLE 2 MONTHS NOW RIGHT? OR LONGER...NOW WE NEED YOUR OPINION SO YOU'RE ON THE SPOT MY FRIEND.

:fear :erm :confused :blushing

[Saephyr]

BLACKMAIL!

He's my bud and we live about 10 hours apart as well.

Besides can you just NOT love who you're in love with due to your friend being a fabulous fella?

If it were THAT easy then I'm sure we both could have seen it coming but it's just not. I'm 1 big issue and he's got a GREAT job in CT as well as the fact that we did sleep together (literally), and he's a comfy roomie.

He deserves a nice gal who has no huge issues and health problems like myself anyway. But you can never tell what the future holds.

I can't wait out forever for my hearts love.

I do have a good friend and he's Daffy as well.

wHAT'S YOUR TAKE ON THAT COMMENT DAFFY COTN? ANYTHING? I MEAN HELL WE'VE BEEN TALKING FOR A WHOLE 2 MONTHS NOW RIGHT? OR LONGER...NOW WE NEED YOUR OPINION SO YOU'RE ON THE SPOT MY FRIEND.

:fear :erm :confused :blushing

[creatureofthenyte]

My opinion is

that I can see how you would want that guy who made you feel all those wonderful things back. But I also think that in some way, you are living in your past and you won't be to move forward in your life until you come to terms with the fact that he's gone and it could very well be that he aint comin back. I don't mean to sound cold, but there have been realities that I've had to accept in my own life, so I kind of speak from experience.

As for findin a gal without issues ? yeah right. Every one of us, no matter how sane and normal, has issues of some kind. It would be ludicrous to think otherwise in this day and age.

As far as me and you go, there are things like distance and time to contend with.Not to mention if something ever got real serious between us, we would have to figure out a way to be living in the same area at least, if not the same place. Like you said Cat, we don't know what the future holds. But I will go out on a limb since this is what this thread seems to be seeking of me and say that if it could be worked out;

I'd take you in a heartbeat.

I don't know what the future holds, but at least we will forever be friends if nothing else. But again I am very open to any possibilities.....

[Brenda Starrr]

AWWWW!

[Steven]

gotta tell ya dude....that if there was a woman on my mind...I'd stop at nothing.

that's how you do this.

Good Luck.

[Onyx]

gotta tell ya dude....that if there was a woman on my mind...I'd stop at nothing.

that's how you do this. 

Good Luck.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yeah, that's what love is, isn't it? I feel the same way. I'd stop at nothing. Distance would never stop me, cultural differences, whatever. I'd pull up my roots and move, if I could, and if I couldn't, I'd travel to be with him whenever I can.

Real love is often inconvenient and painful. Sometimes I think it's a curse.

The thing is, when you love someone, sometimes there's only one key that fits that lock. You can try to replace that person with another. You can try to forget them, but somehow nobody else ever feels right.

Sounds like Hollywood drivel, doesn't it? I thought so too, until I lived it. I feel for you Saephyr. I'm right there too. I just don't know how to fall out of love.

[Nienna]

I'm in the same place right now. I found the one I fit with, who I wanted to be with forever... and he left me for no reason other than that I lived too far away. I guess maybe he didn't feel the same. I know one thing: I'm done. I guess I'll just die alone.

[Steven]

I dont think you ever really fall out of love just like that....you instead give yourself permission to love somone else. You close one door and open another.

I hope you ladies give yourselves another chance.

oh....and don't ever settle. That's not real.

steven

[creatureofthenyte]

I hear ya Steven. The thing is that, and I guess this reply will better clarify my thoughts on this; If I were to hook up with Cat, at this point in time, there are factors like geographical distance and getting free time to see her. Those are 2 things that I have to contend with.

I have a good paying job over here in CT. I've been at it for 5.5 years now. I also get full company sponsored health insurance with this job. So, in a sense, its my golden ticket in my life right now.

But, like you said; let nothing stop me...

This is where I am at this point right now.

Like I said, if there could be a way to make it work, then OOO RAH! I'm up 4 it.

So now its time for Cat to chime in whenever she reads all this