Paternity?

[The_Dark]

So, I keep getting these leters in the mail. My wife assumed they were junk mail and has been tossing them. She opened on today. Some woman in Florida gave my name as the father of her child. :blink I have no idea who this woman is.. I have not been in Florida since I was 11. Nor have I slepted with anyone but my wife in 11 years. The child is only 10. OMG I want this to just go away... this child is not mine damnit. If it were, I would admit it and deal with the problems that woul;d cause me.. but it's not mine!!!!

[saechalyn]

Oh, gah! I hope it gets cleared up quickly and with minimal hassle.

[Steven]

thank god for DNA testing nowadays......

[saechalyn]

  Steven said:

thank god for DNA testing nowadays......

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

For serious.

[The_Dark]

but I don't have $600 to lay down. I know I'll get it back when it's over.. but damn... thats a lot of cash to drop.

[saechalyn]

  The_Dark said:

but I don't have $600 to lay down. I know I'll get it back when it's over.. but damn... thats a lot of cash to drop.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well hopefully it's a simple matter of mistaken identity that the woman will realize quickly. *crosses fingers and toes*

[Brenda Starrr]

Wow, Mark. I hope this all works out for you.

[Head Wreck]

*mutters something about too much sun affecting peoples sanity*

this womans mad. hope this clears up

[phee]

Being falsly accused sucks... sucks... sucks

[Msterbeau]

Maybe your evil twin ran off one night and did it? It sux when you have to spend money on stupid things like that. Grrr.

[Guest Megalicious]

Wow Mark.... thats awful. Have you tired to contact this woman to tell her she is mad? Well not to tell her she is mad lol .... but to try and explain that you have no idea who she even is let alone fathered a child with her? The 600$ is well worth it considering that she lives in FL ... which means you would have to fly down there and get a lawyer .. not to mention how much you would spend if you had to support this child, I'm not to sure if thats what will happen .. but it may if you dont show up to speak up in your deffense.

What a psycho. I believe we should have a fundrasier for Mark and his needy cause =)

[Shade Everdark]

....the hell?!

Instead of spending insane amounts of money on a DNA test, maybe we could all band together and tell her, "STFU, noob!"

[Rayne]

  phee said:

Being falsly accused sucks... sucks... sucks

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Indeed it does. I know.

Much luck for you Mark.

[sass_in_the_pants]

Idea #1:

Go on Maury Povich and be all like "She a HO!" and then the tests will come back negative and she'll run off sobbing "But, I didn't sleep with anybody else!" and then she'll come back on next week with another small village of young men and continue her search.

OR...

Idea #2

Who sent you the letter? Contact that person, department, whatever and explain that you believe they are mistaken. Seriously, this kind of stuff happens ALL the time. If you have a fairly common name, sometimes these things happen. It's like those Geiko commercials "Five minutes could save you hundreds of dollars". It certainly couldn't hurt.

Personally, though, I like option #1 better.

[Hellion]

:devil I saw something similar about this on the Discovery Channel,Forensic Files.

More like Identity theft,Be thankful for DNA testing,I hope you get this all cleared up.

[Onyx]

What a nightmare.

It's so unfair that you would have to come up with that much cash, likely because someone made a mistake and got the wrong address.

I hope they straighten it out for you soon.

[pharoh]

  The_Dark said:

So, I keep getting these leters in the mail. My wife assumed they were junk mail and has been tossing them. She opened on today. Some woman in Florida gave my name as the father of her child.  :blink    I have no idea who this woman is.. I have not been in Florida since I was 11. Nor have I slepted with anyone but my wife in 11 years. The child is only 10. OMG I want this to just go away... this child is not mine damnit. If it were, I would admit it and deal with the problems that woul;d cause me.. but it's not mine!!!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

God bro, I think you got Peter North beat now for distance shooting of the semen!

[Homicidalheathen]

Sure beats 18 years of child support.

  The_Dark said:

but I don't have $600 to lay down. I know I'll get it back when it's over.. but damn... thats a lot of cash to drop.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[kellygrrrrrl]

WOW

that is insane.

I heard something about this on the news just the otherday

I really hope everything goes smoothly for you

[The_Dark]

Well, I called the person of contact on the letter. Seems the woman fucked someone named Mark Frost while she was on vacation in Michigan about 10 years ago. The person I spoke with said I most likely had nothing to worry about as they sent the same letter to everyone named Mark Frost who lives in Michigan. Seems there about 30 of us. After a long talk with her she assurd me that I am pretty much ruled out as the father... we'll see. All she would give me is a first name. Leanne. I have never met anyone named Leanne. Why does this keep happening to me? This is the 5th time someone has named me as the father when I wasn't. My wife thinks this is funny as hell. I may have to spank her.

[phee]

Glad it seems calmer

[torn asunder]

  The_Dark said:

My wife thinks this is funny as hell. I may have to spank her.

heh...

any excuse, huh!?

[The_Dark]

yep

[Shade Everdark]

Maybe you're just that sexy, that these women want you to be their "baby's daddy".

It would certainly explain why I don't get any.

[Guest Megalicious]

  Shade Everdark said:

It would certainly explain why I don't get any.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It doesn't explain it to me Shade, I happen to think you are very sexy.