Time for your yearly Dementia test

[Dubh Aingeal]

"It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test."

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert The saying; "If you don't use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain, so...

Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.

So, take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing it or are still "with it." The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you have made your answer.

OK, relax, clear your mind and... begin.

WELL MAYBE NOT THAT CLEAR!

1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.

2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate such as Children's World. If you said "water" then proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing here reading these questions??? If you said "glass," then go on to Question 4.

4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"?

Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "Don't bury the survivors", then proceed to the next question.

5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from Eleva to la crosse . In osseo, 17 people get on the bus. In whitehall, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In black river, two people get off and four get on. In marshfield, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In tomah, three people get off and five people get on, You then arrive at la crosse. What was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!

PS: 95% of people fail in most of the questions!!

[torn asunder]

i'm not going to answer, since i remember this one from last year!!

(and no, i didn't miss any!)

[BrassFusion]

I'm not going to answer, because I know I got them all right... erm.

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

1:c-4 plastic explosives

2: Cappucino

3:Grass

4: In Tokyo they will be buried

5:Gus

P.S. This was filled out by a enraged monkey mad at humanity...

So how'd I do?

[Dubh Aingeal]

Answers are there. They just need highlighting...

[bean]

I got # 4 wrong hehe, oops! but I got the rest right!

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

I am so the five percent that didnt fail this test hahahaha

[Msterbeau]

I got em all wrong. Completely and totaly.

[DeadBurgerKing (10)]

I got em all wrong.  Completely and totaly.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

DUDE!! We kick ass!!!

[Vater Araignee]

1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: bread with a fork attached to my cat

2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?

Answer: what ever I'm in the mood to force down their esophagus, usually a water with a glow powder mixed in.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Answer: You should have wrote greenhouse not green house but anyway the are made of a composite of moose feces and bat guano

4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"?

Answer: After I got done killing them all I would bury them where ever it is most convenient.

5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from Eleva to la crosse . In osseo, 17 people get on the bus. In whitehall, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In black river, two people get off and four get on. In marshfield, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In tomah, three people get off and five people get on, You then arrive at la crosse. What was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: BlaXpyder because I'm not allowed to drive. I might kill our body.