Venereal Disease

[Brenda Starrr]

Last night, my daughter said that she overheard someone talk about VD. She wanted to know what it was. She's 9, and I though I was going to pee myself when she said it. So, I told her where it comes from, what each one is, etc. I figured that if she can say it properly, it might be time to discuss it. It was a pretty serious conversation until she asked if it hurt. I told her that (from what I've heard) it feels like your shooting razorblades. She lost it. She was laughing so hard, I was getting worried that she might not catch her breath.

She swears she's never having sex.

So, have any of you with children had that discussion yet? When was it discussed with you? Having children who ask a lot of questions freaks me out some days.

[JaneDead]

are you sure she didn't mean Valentine's Day? that vd?

actually my parents talked to me about most everything but i really don't recall them talking to me about v.d. which is odd now that i think about it.

my son is 9 and i still think he is too immature for any of the "talks" yet.

[Brenda Starrr]

She's very mature for 9. I figured that, at this age, if she asks I'll tell. It can't hurt, I guess.

[JaneDead]

oh nope. can't hurt if she is ready to hear it. lol. my son however would probably be wrecked for life.

[fallennon]

My mother could have shot me because when I was 14 and my sister was 9 we told her to ask my mom what a sperm was. She got the sex talk three years earlier then I had to indure it! And BTW, she had sex a lot later then I...

[The_Dark]

I will never forget the day I was driving down the road with the kids in the back seat and from my daughter (then 5 now 17) I hear.. "Daddy.... I know that baby's come out of Mom's belly.. and I know how they get out... How do they get in there?" I almost hit a tree. The next hour was a carefull explination of sexual relations and the pro/cons that they bring.

[Lilith]

a few yearas ago my son (now 9) was 6 and asked me about "issues"

I had no idea what he was talking about so i asked him to explain it and well he said you know thoes rubber band things you put on a guys thing to keep the girl from getting pregnant....... I was like OMG are you serious,

so i answered all kinds of questions told him the proper name for "issues" explained just about what ever he wanted to know, and have had an open line of communication with him since, elaborating on things as he has gotten older

If the kids are asking, anwer there questions, who know where and what they here.

mine heard about "issues" from a friend who was only a year older who heard about it from his sister who is older then him and from what i gathered the info the sister gave was ok but not exactly right.

Nickolodeon has a specila on a month or so ago about kids living with aids and i had my son watch that, the special was the hardsips these kids and other went through it touched vagly on sex but nothing grafic, i just wanted him to know the dangers, he said it was scary afterward.

Knowledge is power and the more knowledge a child has the better prepaired they are to deal with situations. Or perhaps the less afraid they are to say no and be there own person. just my thoughts

[gothicmom]

My daughter is 12. She is starting to have dreams where she is naked! That she kissed someone....

When she was about 6 she asked about sex. I sat there for a minute trying to decide how much info I wanted to give. I decided she was ready to hear it. I asked her if she wanted to hear it all, she said yes.

When I was done giving her just the basics (about a 10-15 minute talk) she said in a closed throat sounding voice...I think I'm gonna throw up! LOL

I've always encouraged her to ask questions. To not be embarassed. My mom couldn't talk about things, so I learned from others. Actually, I was too emabarrassed to ask what 'things' were so I had to think about it and figure it out myself. NOT good!

[Jarodaka]

yay! Go DGN parents! 1) you didn't freak out... well, except for Dark, but looks like he recovered, 2) you didn't dumb down your answers, 3) you told them about sex before they became sexually active.

[JaneDead]

every time i think about talking to my son about stuff that he doesnt know yet- i think about how my parents where. they started to tell me a lot of stuff between the ages of 3 and 5. that was so young. and here my son is NINE and knows hardly any of what i knew by then.

people used to come down on my parents for the stuff they told me. saying i was too young. i dont think there is a "too young". i think it all depends on each child and when they show they are ready to know what you are going to tell them.

sometimes i think my 3 year old is more ready to hear stuff than my son is.

[honeymustard02]

I don't have kids but I remember how my parents were.

My parents never talked to me about this stuff. I learned it through sex ed in school.

All I can say is talk to your kids and talk often. Kids today treat sex like going to the mall. It's something to do out of boredom and just to do it. SCARY!!!!

[Nienna]

I think I was 9 or so when my mom came home from the library with "the books". Then I had to sit down with her and my grandma and talk about it all... *L* Could have been worse, but my preadolescent self wanted to die.

[Onyx]

I told the basic facts to both my children by the time they were six, and added details as they grew.

My youngest is now seven. There was a sitcom on daytime TV (I think it was Seinfeld) that had some mild sexual references. I was in the kitchen busy and next thing I knew she came in and asked

"Mommy, what is an orgasm?"

I could not figure out how to answer THAT one, so I told her that I'm not sure how to explain that so she will understand, but that I will think about it some more. She hasn't brought it up again. I'm still trying to figure out how to explain.

[Brenda Starrr]

My daughter wants to know just what she's supposed to do with a penis. I told her to avoid it like the plague.

[honeymustard02]

My daughter wants to know just what she's supposed to do with a penis. I told her to avoid it like the plague.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Lilith]

My daughter wants to know just what she's supposed to do with a penis. I told her to avoid it like the plague.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

sounds like something i would say to funny, lol

[JaneDead]

...

[Ginevra]

I never got "the talk" as a child/teen. The closest thing I came to it was in 5th grade, the girls were separated from the boys and it was explained what menses was, carefully avoiding all sexual reference. When I was a freshmen in high school, we got the "this is what it's like to have a baby" film but again, it was devoid of reference to sexual activity.

Gratz to parents who explain to their kids when they ask. Informed kids can make informed choices rather than going off half-cocked.

[Brenda Starrr]

My parents avoided it as well. I won't do that with my two. I had to learn a lot on my own, which I didn't think was cool. I won't be that kind of mom. My kids will know whatever they want and need to know, and then some.

[JaneDead]

when i was three i had this book called "where did i come from" with pictures/drawings and everything.

it actually described sex as feeling like a sneeze. i was thinking well then that just sucks. i hate to sneeze.

[SpidersMoment]

oh god, i hate talking to my parents about sex. One reason is cuz we have totally different veiws as to when you can do it. I'm a big beleiver in if you want to do it before marrage, go on ahead BUT BE CAREFUL, she's religious so of course she thinks that sex is ONLY meant for husbands and wives. (she doesnt even beleive in BDSM)

i was told the basic from school, and learnt the rest from HBO. haha

[Hermine]

I heard "Daddy.... I know that baby's come out of Mom's belly.. and I know how they get out... How do they get in there?" I almost hit a tree.

:laughing: I don't know why that was so funny, but it was. I do really enjoy your turn of phrase sometimes.

I had this booik when I was younger and this one for adolescence. I had proper sex-ed in school where I learned about various contraception methods and why the condom is the best option--this was before the female condom, which I haven't yet tried (btw, since that's not taught anymore in schools, here's a link on how to use a condom, since I notice lots of people don't seem to be aware of safe sex issues these days)

As for safety, my mother told her gynecologist when each of us hit puberty to treat us, send her the bill, and tell her nothing. Not because she was all that uncomfortable, so much as she wanted us to be comfortable going to the doctor for anything.

I also had very sensible advice; both from the Quaker meeting I was raised in (we had a sex-ed class from an emotional/spiritual perspective) and from the lecture I got (some of you have heard this already in another discussion).

I remember the start of the lecture, b/c it was brilliant: "There are people who will tell you that sex is dirty and sinful. Those people are full of s---. Thre are people who will tell you that sex is nothing. Those people are also full of s---. "

I was taught that sex is not a thing to be entered into lightly, but that it isn't evil. It's a very powerful experience that can be positive or negative. I was taught to respect myself and my partner, and to be careful. I was taught to give it a great deal of thought and make sure I made a good choice of whom to start this experience with. And I did make a good choice.

And I became sexually active much later than my friend whose parents were fundamentalists, and I didn't get pregnant early on, as she did.

[Fierce Critter]

Oh, God. I mostly learned about sex when I was 9 by first finding some dirty magazines behind the 7-11 and seeing a penis for the first time. Most of my first exposure to sex was "Variations" magazine, so I thought "normal" sex involved anal sex, bondage, S&M, beastiality, water sports, etc.

I knew about pads/tampons, but didn't know what they were for - me, the youngest of 5 daughters.

When I found the magazines, I ended up talking to the older teenager sister of some friends who lived down the street. She couldn't believe I didn't know what a period was, so she told me, in surprisingly decent terms.

About the same time, we had a sex ed class in school.

It probably would have been around the time I first got my period at age 12 (seriously - AT AGE 12 - I got my first on my 12th birthday), that my mother told me, "you're a woman now, here - read this". And she gave me this ringbound book that explained reproduction a-la, "how flower babies are made". OMFG - thank the gods I already knew. I think that book was published in 1959 or something.

I still think my f-ed up way of learning about sex and everything related is a big part of why I have such problems with sex today.

[ManicQueen]

I haven't gotten to that point yet with my 11-year old daughter.. I haven't even talked to her about starting her period which is going to happen soon. She has never came up to me asked me serious questions like the ones I've been reading about. She a very shy kid which is going to make it hard for when we have "the talk". And this I have to do ASAP.. I just don't know how to start it.. blah!

B~

[Onyx]

I haven't gotten to that point yet with my 11-year old daughter.. I haven't even talked to her about starting her period which is going to happen soon. She has never came up to me asked me serious questions like the ones I've been reading about. She a very shy kid which is going to make it hard for when we have "the talk". And this I have to do ASAP.. I just don't know how to start it.. blah!

B~

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Mine started that early! At least do the period talk - maybe do it tomorrow?

I had a friend in school who started at school and thought she was going to die, didn't know what was going on, ran screaming from the bathroom to the teacher. It was horrible.